The Do-Over(76)

Laughing, “I am sure you were not hard up for women. You have always been a chick magnet. I know this firsthand. The women he got were probably as shallow as he was. The man is a shell.”

“A good-looking shell. The guy looks like Rob Lowe.”

“He’s a handsome guy, there’s no doubt about that. Until you get to know him and you find out that he’s a really ugly person. He was jealous of you, Wes. Jealous that you had a good marriage, jealous that you built a really respected and successful company. And everyone who knows you, loves you. You’ve achieved everything he is not capable of.”

I was now back to the wings and drowning them in blue cheese. I was glad the food was here to keep my nervous hands busy.

“I hated finding out about the two of you. It just resurrected a lifetime of old feelings of him stealing what was mine.” He reached for a wing. “I’m sorry you got caught up in my insecurity and jealousy, Tara.”

As I finished my wing, I laughed, “So much for eating, then talking.” Looking around, I asked, “Do you have napkins?”

He smiled, “I have better. Be right back.” He disappeared below deck again and returned a moment later with a handful of packets of Wet Naps.

“Oh excellent.” I reached for a packet. “You really are prepared.”

“Yeah, but I was thinking this might not be such a good idea to bring them out.”

“Why?” I laughed. “Wet Naps are the best.”

“Nope. I totally disagree. This is much better.” Reaching over, he grabbed my right hand and sucked my index finger into his mouth, licking off the Buffalo sauce.

“Oh, dirty pool, Bergman,” I protested.

“I’m on a mission.” He smiled, sucking another finger into his mouth.

“You don’t know where that finger’s been.”

“It’s been in your mouth. A place I like being.” He licked my ring finger.

“This is going to be some conversation. We have a long way until dawn.”

“So, as I was saying before you interrupted with your sticky fingers.” He smiled, but it quickly faded. “Finding out about the two of you destroyed me.” He picked up his cup and drained it, then held it out for me to refill.

“That is why I tried to tell you about it that night. And with the way you responded, I thought Julien had already told you and that you knew.”

Wes laughed and sat back with his drink. “You had sex in my shower. That is what I was referring to.”

Nodding, “I did. I had sex in your shower. I thought it was his cabin and I went in to pee. I was mortified later when I saw you walk in there. It was like oh f*ck, what are the chances?”

“See look, you just totally ‘fessed up to that. You didn’t make up a lie about it.”

“Of course not,” I countered. “I’m not a psychopath and that is why I wanted to tell you about Julien that night, because I never wanted it to come between us. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy for me to tell you, but I thought you had a right to know before we became lovers.”

Turning to me, he put a hand on my cheek. The warmth of his skin in the cold night air was like a salve formulated to repair the network of cracks in my heart.

“It was my fault for not letting you tell me. And then I took it out on you, when, in fact, the onus is on me for that miscommunication.”

His hand was still on my cheek when I began to speak. “As I said that night in the hospital, from the moment you stepped back into my life, Wes, there’s been no one else.”

Leaning forward, he laid a soft kiss on my lips. “I’m also sorry that I laid so much on you on the dance floor at the fundraiser. After having no contact, I kinda blindsided you. I realized that afterwards.”

“Here’s the thing. I know you were going through an unimaginable amount of grief. I totally get that and I can sympathize. But what I don’t know is, is this typically how you’d react? Or was this an anomaly because of the extenuating circumstances?”

Taking his hand from my cheek, Wes sat back in his chair and looked up at the night sky. “Tara, I’d like to tell you that this is not how I treat people. But it was how I treated you. And I’m not proud of it. I wasn’t listening to you that night at the hospital because I needed someplace to put all my pain. And I dumped it on you.” Shaking his head, “That was so wrong. You were the last person I should have dumped it on.”

“You’re right,” I agreed. “But Julien had just trashed me to you after you thought what you and I had was real.”

“It was real.” As was the pain on Wes’ face.

Reaching over to grab his hand, I squeezed it tightly. “Yes Wes, it was very real. Which is why this has been so painful.”

It was a moment before he squeezed my hand back. “Tara, all I can do is try to show you through my actions that I will not put anyone before you and Scarlett ever again. That this was the exception and not the standard for how I conduct myself and treat those I love.” Turning to me, “Please believe me, T.”

I smiled at the use of his nickname for me. Pulling the blanket up around my neck, I shifted closer to him and put my head on his shoulder. “It’s cold out here, keep me warm.”

Wrapping his arms around me, we sat silently for a while.