The Devil You Know (The Devil DeVere #3)(24)

Chapter Eight


“Are you all right, my lady?” Polly asked with a look of apprehension.

Diana knew she was a mess both inside and out. Weak and mildly nauseated from her exhausting emotional display, her eyes burned, and her hair hung limp and lank about her tear-stained face. She needed no mirror to explain the maid’s alarm.

“Yes, Polly. I must have fainted,” she lied. “But I’m fine now.”

She rose from the floor on shaky legs, brushing her skirts with trembling hands.

“Fainted?” The maid’s brows rose to her hairline. “I’ve never known you to faint before, my lady. You don’t think you could possibly be…”

Diana choked on a laugh, a half-crazed sound. “My dear Polly, of that I am certain.”

Polly regarded her mistress with a concerned frown. “You don’t look yourself at all, my lady. Mayhap you should take to your bed.” Giving Diana no chance to resist, Polly looped a strong arm about her mistress’s waist and guided her across the room to the adjacent bedchamber. “You sought his lordship earlier,” she said.

“He returned to his apartments about an hour ago. I must say he was in much better humor than when he left this morning. Shall I call him for you?”

“No,” Diana almost gasped. “I have no need of Lord Reggie. I’m sure a bath and a good night’s rest will see me completely restored.

Pray convey to Lady Chambers that I shan’t join them for supper this evening.”

“Would you have a tray sent to your room, then?” Polly asked.

“No, thank you.” The thought of food almost made Diana retch.

“If you will only call for hot water and help me to disrobe.”

The hot bath that followed soothed her shattered nerves, or perhaps it was really the medicinal dose of brandy Polly produced which Diana threw back in one long and unladylike, draining draught. It burned its way from her throat to her belly, but then quickly filled her with a welcoming languor, thanks to her empty stomach. Diana’s mind whirled with the various repercussions of her discovery.

Ten years together, and she had never had an inkling, yet having had time to overcome her initial shock, she saw that Reggie’s behavior made perfect sense. She understood now that he had felt as trapped by their marriage as she, although he had certainly had a choice in the matter. While Diana had wed him out of duty to her parents, she had known that Reggie’s motives had been entirely mercenary. Through their marriage, Diana had provided him with a title, income, and sub-stantial properties. She had satisfied his need to live as a gentleman in the hopes they would come to rub along together, but now she understood the impossibility of that and of the more private needs she could never satisfy.

Ten years of her life wasted. Her youth sacrificed waiting and hoping for something that could never be, that never had any chance to begin with—purely because she was a woman. He had chosen to live the lie, and for that, he had punished her. He had fed her self-doubts and insecurities daily by making her question her own worth as a wife, as a woman. She felt betrayed and dishonored, a realization that filled her with an impotent rage. If she were a man, she would deal with it in a man’s way—with pistols at dawn, but she was a woman, a woman now in desperate need of vindication...of validation.

The recognition of this one simple fact, of her legitimate need to feel appreciated, to be desired, was somehow liberating and empow-ering. Perhaps it was the drink that falsely bolstered her confidence, for with a calm resolution she never would have thought herself capable of, Diana determined to reclaim what had been taken from her.

The hour was well adv

***

anced when she approached the dressing table. She slipped off her night rail, and selecting her favorite scent of damask rose, strategically daubed the stopper at her neck—remembering with a shiver how his lips had grazed it—and then between the full breasts he had openly admired. She cupped them now, the weight of them heavy in her hands, and regarded her reflection, wondering what he would see, how he would react when she disrobed for him.

Would she be all that he had imagined, or in some way disappoint-ing? It took a conscious effort to tamp down the virulent doubts that threatened her resolve.

Forgoing the gown she’d discarded, Diana donned only her wrapper, a diaphanous silk. She took down her hair, riffling her fingers through the waves until they cascaded over her shoulders, and by the light of a single candle, ventured to the north wing apartments and Lord DeVere.

Ludovic

***

raked an exasperated hand over his stubbled jaw and took a long drink. Although he wouldn’t relish the nights he would now spend palming himself, he had at last bid Caroline her overdue farewell. Lewd and adventurous, she’d been his longest bed partner, but he’d long become bored with her shallow vanity and irritated by her constant demands on his time and attention. Still, he didn’t doubt Diana’s arrival had been the final impetus for her dismissal. The frustration he now felt was a bittersweet penalty for his impetuous actions.He didn’t know what it was about Diana that got under his skin.

She was handsome and voluptuous, the type that attracted him most, but he’d known women more beautiful and charming than she. Perhaps it was the heat he detected beneath that thick layer of icy reserve?

His instincts were never wrong about that. No doubt it was also the challenge she presented, the difficulty of the conquest that appealed to him. He’d not been challenged by a woman in a very long time.