The Devastation (Unexpected Circumstances #7)(19)

And then I had not done so.

I wanted to. It had been my right. I surprised even myself when I did not just slow down and take her anyway, but the look in her eyes made me stop. She had been terrified of me. I knew immediately that I did not want a wife who feared me. I did not want this young, precious girl to dread my presence in our rooms, but rather I wanted her to desire me as I desired her.

Over the next few days, I had thought I was going to lose all semblance of sanity in my unrequited lust. By the time we had actually consummated our marriage, it ended up being one of the most incredible experiences of my life, and each moment with her since then had only increased those thoughts.

I knew I had made the gravest mistakes during our time together, many of which were not even known to my wife. Making war without a full understanding of my enemy’s capabilities had been foolish at best, and that had set the stage for the rest of my downfall. For the first time, I had let my guard down and allowed someone I did not know close to my family—and Alexandra had paid dearly for it. I did not keep Alexandra close to me the one time she needed me to do so. My downfall had been the downfall of my wife as well as all of Silverhelm. Though I thought at the time I was doing what was best for my family and my kingdom, I knew now how wrong I had been.

I wanted to do better—both by Alexandra and my people—but I had no one left to guide me. Camden had tried to make me understand so many times, and I had refused to listen to his advice. He had coddled me, I knew this now, and when I desperately needed him, he was no longer there.

My introspections were cut short as the broken walls of Sterling Castle came into view.

There were forces guarding the front entrance though only very few. Most of the men there appeared to be carpenters and masons though what they were doing there I still didn’t know. The east tower was completely gone, and nothing but the rubble from the structure itself, furniture, and similar items seemed to be left. We easily disposed of the men and entered the castle through the hole where the tower used to be, immediately beginning our search. The upper rooms were cold and empty, and I tried not to stare too long at the bed where Alexandra and I had spent our first night after our wedding. I knew this castle like the back of my hand, and soon all the main rooms had been searched, save one.

Parnell joined me as we approached the great hall that had served as a meeting place for my father and his small court when he was Lord of Sterling. Parnell dispatched two men to guard the outer doorway, and we both entered the large room.

“Alexandra!” I screamed out.

There was a small part deep inside of me that knew I was near my breaking point. It was the part of me that never actually left the hiding place below the bench seat where I was entombed while my mother was brutalized. That part of me was trying to pull the rest of me back down into the darkness again—close the lid and seal me up tight so nothing could touch me. Nothing. No one. If I did not find her, that was where I would go—deep inside of myself—and I would likely never return.

I had never spoken to Alexandra or to anyone else about it, but that was exactly what I had done for a time as a child. After being taken to Sawyer and finding out how my parents had died, I had shut myself off from everyone and everything. I did not eat, or speak, or hear those around me. I did not even see anyone else as they tried to engage me in conversation or activity. I existed completely inside myself. Only Ida and her cries for me managed to bring me back.

Ida no longer needed her older brother, and if Alexandra was…

I did not dare think of it.

The great hall in Sterling Castle was modest and had never held actual thrones when the Sterling family occupied it. My father was a lord and a duke, not a king. Now, though, there was a throne sitting on its own in the center at the end of the hall. The same carved benches I recalled from my youth sat along the sides of the walls, but little else adorned the room.

Between two of the benches was a small door with a heavy bar across it. I knew exactly where it led though I could scarcely believe Whitney would have gone so far as to put my wife in the actual dungeon.

Of course she would have.

The skin of my arm rose in gooseflesh at the thought though I was still covered by heavy leather and chainmail. I quickly reached for the handle of the door as Parnell yelled at the other guards to secure the rest of the area. Beyond the door was a dark, narrow staircase on which I had trod only a handful of times in my life. Royalty did not venture down here if it could be avoided. I had to pull a torch from the wall at the bottom of the stairs to see my way down the dank corridor. With the torchlight flickering, casting eerie shadows, we turned the corner and approached the many barred doors of the Sterling Castle dungeon.

And that is when I heard Alexandra scream.





Chapter 4—Blessedly Reunited


I did not know whether my heart beat faster from elation or terror.

Though I had never heard such a sound come from Alexandra’s throat, I knew immediately that it was her. I did not know if it was the quality of her voice, the intonation, or perhaps just blind faith, but I knew my wife was there and crying out in pain.

She lives.

Nearly falling down the next set of steep stairs in the process, I raced as fast as I could toward the sound of her voice. I could hear and feel Parnell behind me as I rounded the corner and looked upon the rows of barred doors. Parnell was calling out to me—warning me to be cautious—but I barely heard his words in my haste. Alexandra was near, and she needed me. There was nothing and no one that could have slowed my pace.