The Design(75)

She laughed. “So, you’re fine with everything you found out the night before you left? You’re fine with the fact that he fired you and you’re fine with the fact that he hasn’t shown up in Paris yet?”

I swallowed those questions, knowing I’d have to digest them later, when I was alone and could really delve into my feelings.

“Y’know, I’m peachy. In fact, I’ve hardly thought about Grayson while I’ve been here. It feels like all that happened ages ago.”

“So you don’t think you should have stayed and worked things out?”

“Those are two different questions, Brooklyn. I honestly don’t think there’s any way it could have worked out between him and me. If our paths cross in the future it’ll be good to see him. We’ll say hi and he’ll introduce me to whatever girl he’s dating. I’m not sure about a lot of things, but leaving and starting fresh felt like the right move.”

“You sound so calm about everything,” she said, disbelief clear in her tone.

I shrugged, though she couldn’t see it through the phone. “So why were you crying when you first called?” she asked.

I bit down on my lip, trying to keep my emotions at bay. “I think I just realized that I’m not the person I thought I was. I wanted to be the cool girl who could travel around Europe and experience the world. I’ve been here for a month and a half and I think I made a huge mistake.”

“So are you going to come home?” she asked tentatively.

“I’m not sure.”

“Well, I have something that might convince you…”

“What?” The elation I felt at the idea of going home to LA was practically tangible. “What is it?”

“Jason asked me to marry him last week.”

“WHAT?! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? You let me ramble on about dumb Paris while you were sitting there freaking engaged? Are you completely insane? Send me a picture of the ring. No, wait. Tell me how he did it. No wait, have you picked a date yet?”

She laughed. “Alright, settle down, you weirdo. We haven’t picked a date yet but we know we don’t want to wait long. It was a really simple proposal. He and I write on the upstairs balcony at his ranch—you know the one I’m talking about?”

I tried to envision Jason’s ranch from my stay a few months earlier. It basically looked like a ski lodge transplanted into the Montana forest. It was breathtaking and the balcony she was talking about was the focal point of the entire house.

“Yes, I remember what it looks like.”

“Well, we were out there writing a song and he paused right in the middle and dropped to one knee. He’d been carrying the ring around in his pocket for the last month, trying to think of what the most special proposal would be. When we were out there writing, he told me that there wasn’t a moment that would feel more right to him. That balcony, and that house, hold a lot of memories for us and he thought it was only right to add one more.”

“Holy shit. J-fresh is so romantic! You did good, sis. Now send me a picture of the ring or I’ll kill you.”

She laughed.

“Well actually, before I hang up, there’s one more thing. Jason and I were thinking of having an engagement party in a month or so. I was going to ask you to help host it, since you’re obviously my maid of honor, but you’re halfway across the world, so I guess that’s not possible.”

I flinched at the hurt in her voice. I’d completely left behind all of my responsibilities in LA. My big sister—AKA the only family I had left—was getting married, and I knew I should be there with her, helping her plan her wedding, not halfway across the world.

I bit back my regret and spoke up.

“No. No. I can help plan it while I’m here. I’ll search for some invitations and email you the links so you can pick your favorite.”

“And do you think you’ll fly back for it?” she asked.

I thought of my bank account and how little it had grown since taking the teaching job. The program paid me enough to live and eat, but I hadn’t saved a dime since arriving in Paris. If I went home for the engagement party, chances were that I wouldn’t have enough money to fly back to Paris.

“I’m not sure yet, but I’ll let you know soon,” I answered, not wanting to get her hopes up.





Chapter Thirty-Four


Traveling to Paris was supposed to solve my problems. I had dreams of establishing a home base, working my way up in a firm, and coming into my own in the City of Light. Instead, I felt like I’d carried all of my problems with me overseas. I didn’t feel any more self-sufficient than before. I was still mad as hell that Grayson had gone behind my back, meddling in my life time and time again. I’d lied on the phone with Brooklyn: I missed him like crazy and the real reason I wasn’t enjoying Paris was because I didn’t think I was meant to be there without him. I wanted to be sampling crepes with Grayson. I wanted to be exploring the architecture with him by my side. I wanted him to take my hand as we strolled across the gardens and direct me into a hidden cafe so we could share an afternoon cappuccino while we rested our feet.

I thought of him every day, but most of all, I thought of him when I visited the Eiffel Tower. I sat on the grass, marveling at the monument’s immense structure, and the only thing it reminded me of was the way Grayson had looked during our interview. The way his blue eyes had held me captive from across the desk, stealing my heart as if it was the simplest thing he’d ever done.