The Curse (Belador #3)(72)

He frowned, trying to follow her. “What are you saying, Kizira?”

“That I will make you this agreement. If you can withdraw the information you need, I won’t hold it against you, but I don’t think you can pull anything from my mind because of the way Flaevynn compels me.”

“You would allow me to enter your mind?” he asked with no small dose of disbelief.

“No, I’m not able to open my mind to you voluntarily. What I’m saying is that I will not feel betrayed if you can figure your way past my shields.”

“Don’t doubt that I can gain access now that you and I have a connection.”

“I have a healthy respect for the strength of your mind, Quinn, but you underestimate the power of Flaevynn’s compulsion that forces me to protect my thoughts. As long as I’m cognizant of everything around me, I won’t drop my shields. And even if you could bring yourself to harm me—which you can’t—the compulsion would force me to stop you before you rendered me unconscious.”

“What about Flaevynn? She’ll wonder how I got my intel.”

“If you and I are both successful, that won’t matter.”

“I don’t understand.”

She sighed. “As I said, I can’t share anything voluntarily, so you’ll just have to trust me that I know what I’m doing.”

“It’s not a matter of trust so much as fear over what she’d do to you.”

“I will be fine. Do you really think you can bypass my shields?”

He nodded. “Assuming I’m the kind of bastard who would use you, there is a way to push you to lose all conscious thought so I could enter your mind.” He’d have to take her to the knife’s edge of orgasm and hold her there while he dove past her defenses.

She tilted her head and gazed off while she considered his words. When her eyes lifted to his again, her lips curved in a knowing smile. “Ah … I hadn’t considered that. I’m not sure what would happen, but finding out could be enjoyable as long as you eventually finish what you start.”

This wasn’t how he’d imagined their meeting going. Not for her to offer him access to what she knew of the Medb operation.

A jolt of suspicion woke the tactical side of his mind and saddened him, but he had to ask, “Why would you do this, Kizira?”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and looked up when she said, “I did not choose to be a Medb. I have no choice in my life beyond executing Flaevynn’s orders and to be used as a tool for our coven, but I will not let her destroy you … or what we’ve shared.”

He forced his hands to stay at his sides. If he started touching her again, he’d never stop. “But you are a Medb and I’m a Belador. Any help you offer me will be used against the Medb to its fullest extent. What then?”

“I do not make this offer lightly, but if you trust me at all, then believe that I am working toward the day when the Medb and the Beladors can live in peace. I want us to be together, to end this insanity between your tribe and my coven, but I can’t do it alone. I need your help. With everything in motion at this point, I can’t promise that we won’t meet on a battlefield or that I won’t be compelled to do something that will make you hate me, but I don’t want to do it and I don’t want to be your enemy.”

She put her face against his chest, hugging him hard. “Search for what you want, but don’t deny me this one stolen moment of pleasure when I have so few in my world.”

He raised his hand and held it in the air, his body and mind arguing over sending her away or pulling her to him. In the end, he lowered his fingers to brush along the length of her hair. “I can’t use you that way, Phoedra.” Divine one.

He felt her heartbeat quicken against his skin at the Russian endearment.

She whispered, “I haven’t heard that since our time in Chechnya. What I wouldn’t give to go back there and live forever.” She pushed away from him, her eyes pleading. “This may be the only chance you’ll have at getting past the compulsion obstacles in my mind. It won’t be easy, but I grant you my permission to do with all of me as you please. No, I beg you to do this and help us both.”

Reaching out, she grasped the edge of the towel and tugged it loose. She ran her fingers over his abdomen, then lower, stroking.

He sucked in a sharp breath and caught her wrist, facing a decision that could change the course of his and Kizira’s lives.

The future of the Medb and the Beladors might rest upon his next action.

Her lips moved with one silent word. Please.

May the gods forgive him. He lifted her into his arms and headed for the midnight-dark bedroom. Lowering her gently to the bed, he sat next to her and leaned over her body to drink in every inch. His heart thundered in his chest. Depending on what he learned, this might be the last time they had alone.

He ran his hand over her face. “You are even more beautiful than you were the first time I met you. I have never met another I wanted as I want you.”

Tiny lights sparkled and flickered around her in a soft starburst of glittering light. He eased the sheer material off of her shoulders, baring skin that had been moon-kissed.

Her sigh came out soft as an angel’s music.

“My lovely Phoedra,” he murmured.

“Me … or my body?” She sounded small and insecure, so unlike the fierce priestess she’d always been.