The Cogsmith's Daughter (Desertera #1)(93)

Aya bit her lip. “If anyone understands not wanting to be judged by their title, it’s me.”

The prince nodded. “I know.”

“How long have you known my true name?” Aya crossed her arms.

“A few days. There were hints—your interest in the clocks, your mechanical frog, your speech and wit.” Lionel looked down at his feet, blushing. “I sent my valet out to question Sternville residents about Aya Wellman. When only Aya Cogsmith turned up, I figured it out.”

Aya pursed her lips, angry at his snooping but relieved that Dellwyn was not in danger. “And what do you think of me? Now that you know I’m a lady of the Rudder, an alleged traitor’s daughter who committed her own treason?”

“What do you think of me?”

Aya glared at him. “I asked you first.”

Lionel stepped forward, closing the distance between them. “I think you are strong for taking care of yourself all these years. I think you are brave for seeking justice for your father. And I think you are still the cleverest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

Despite the storm of emotions brewing under her skin, Aya flushed. She stood up straighter. “I think you were a scared little boy, and I understand why you did not stand up to your father before now, but I am still angry with you for it. I think you were my dearest friend in the palace and someone I could have grown to love. But now? I don’t know what to think of you now.”

Lionel took Aya’s hands in his, and she resisted the urge to jerk them away. “I’m still that man, Aya. I’m still Willem.” He paused, rubbing his thumbs over the back of her hands. “Do you think you can forgive me one day? I know it may take a while, and I’m willing to wait. But eventually, do you think we could try again—for real, as ourselves?”

Aya’s heart thumped unevenly, and she remembered a pair of crooked eyes. “Are you going to marry Miss Collingwood?”

Lionel’s nose crinkled. “What? No. Where in Desertera did that come from?”

“Tea.” Aya’s brow furrowed. “When I had tea with her, she told me she and the prince were to be wed.”

“She’s my cousin.” Lionel emphasized each word, widening his eyes.

“I know.” Aya shook her head. “It’s what she said.”

Lionel sighed. “No, Aya. I’m not going to marry my cousin.” He squeezed her hand.

Another unseemly notion popped into Aya’s mind, and she shuddered. “And what about other women?”

“What other women? Aya, you have to know that I’m only interested in you.”

Aya pursed her lips. “When I asked you about why you were near the Rudder, were you telling the truth?”

“Yes. I was fetching my uncle.” Lionel’s feet shifted. “To be honest, I have been a patron of the Rudder before. When I came of age, my friends encouraged me to go. It didn’t feel right to me—too fake, too transactional—but I can understand why it appeals to some. It is much easier than the palace game.”

Aya stared down at the floor. Her stomach lurched at the thought of Lionel in one of her coworker’s beds, but he had gone as a single man, and at least he had not found it too pleasurable. She could not explain why, but she felt as if she might cry again.

Lionel squeezed her hand again. “I’m sorry. I cannot even imagine how painful working at the Rudder was for you, and I regret being that pain for one of the other women.”

“It’s fine. I am in no position to be anyone’s judge.” Aya looked up, the faintest smile on her lips. “And trust me, you could not have been a pain for anyone.”

“Thank you.” Lionel pressed his lips together. His forehead creased in thought. “You haven’t answered my original questions. Can you forgive me, knowing what you know now?”

Aya tugged the corner of her mouth upward. “I think I can forgive you. Eventually.”

Lionel grinned. “And would you be willing to allow me to court you? Properly?”

Aya squinted. “I wasn’t just another one of your conquests?”

“Do you listen to anything I say?” Lionel chuckled, but when Aya held his gaze, he sighed. “You are not just another conquest. You are my final conquest.”

And if his conquest ended in success, Aya would be queen. The thought sent a shiver down her spine, and she pulled her hands out of Lionel’s. Even though her aching heart told her she still cared for Lionel, Aya’s stomach churned at the idea of joining the royal family. All she had ever wanted was to follow in her father’s footsteps as a cogsmith.

“My father’s shop,” Aya whispered.

Lionel flexed his empty fingers at his side, his eyebrows raised. “What about it?”

“Lord Varick promised to return it to me in exchange for helping bring the king to justice.” Aya touched her fingers to her temple. “It’s as if I’ve lost it all over again.”

Lionel smiled. “I’ll give it back to you.”

Aya shook her head. “Lionel, I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You were willing to ask Lord Varick.”

“That was a fair exchange.” Aya crossed her arms. “I don’t want to feel any obligation to you, nor do I want to be bound to a patron.”