The Bad Luck Bride (The Brides of St. Ives #1)(45)
His features relaxed and he smiled. Without breaking eye contact, he moved one hand down her belly, nearer and nearer to where every delicious sensation was centered. Her eyes drifted closed when he reached the apex of her thighs. Suddenly, she was in his arms and in seconds deposited onto his bed with Henderson beside her, his robe fully open now, his manhood clearly visible. Alice dared to look, and was frankly shocked by how large and stiff it was. All the statues she’d ever seen hardly resembled that jutting appendage.
“I’m not taking your virginity, Alice. Though there is nothing more I would like than to be inside you, I cannot.”
“I know.”
“But I can give you pleasure.”
Alice smiled. “You already have.”
He shook his head mysteriously. “I have not. But I will.”
He lay down beside her and kissed her, deepening the kiss as his hand once again found the place between her legs. Alice had thought she understood what pleasure was until he began to stroke her. “Oh. Oh, goodness.” He dipped his head and took one nipple into his mouth, and Alice thought she might shatter. Nothing could have prepared her for the feelings his simple caresses were creating. All she knew was that she wanted more and more and for him to never, ever stop.
“Take me in your hand,” Henderson said, his voice low and grating, as if saying those words took the greatest effort. His large hand wrapped around her smaller one and he guided her to his manhood, showing her how to touch him. “Oh, God, Alice.” It was quite amazing, she thought, steel covered with a fine silk. When she shyly moved her hand, it seemed to grow harder, and Henderson moaned. “Yes, love.”
Again, his hand was between her legs, rubbing that nub she’d had no idea could create such glory. She matched his rhythm, moving her hand in time to his caresses, until she was mindless, until she worked on instinct, unaware of anything but the sensations flowing through her body. And then, the glory, the release, it came and she cried out, her body shaking uncontrollably as wave after wave of pure bliss shot through her. As she slowly returned to normal, Henderson’s head nestled next to hers, and a terrible sadness enveloped her.
They would never share this again. This truly was good-bye.
Sadness mingled with shame and guilt. Shame, because she knew what they had done was wrong, perhaps even a sin, although she would be a virgin on her wedding night. Guilt, because her almost-fiancé lay abed in this same wing and here she was, naked, sated, lying next to a man who was not her husband and not her fiancé. And perhaps not even her friend anymore. Her lover? God, that word seemed so sordid.
“I should not have come tonight,” she said softly.
“No, you should not have.” Even as he said the words, his embrace tightened slightly, and she smiled.
“I should go.” She stirred and was slightly disappointed when he turned onto his back, releasing her. In the lamplight, his hair looked almost black, not the rich chocolate she knew it was. A curl fell over his forehead and she fought the urge to sweep it back. Feeling self-conscious, she crossed her arms and hurried to where her nightgown and robe lay on the floor, like discarded virtue. Stepping into a dark corner, and with her back to him, she donned her nightgown and then drew on her robe before turning, only to find Henderson staring at the ceiling, not her.
She stood uncertainly, not knowing what to say or do. If this were truly good-bye, it was a terrible one and not at all what she’d wanted. What had she wanted? Keeping her eyes on him, Alice walked to the edge of the bed furthest from where he lay.
“Good-bye, Henny. That was…was jolly good.” She wished the floor would swallow her whole.
“I’m glad I could be of service.” Alice’s entire body heated at his callous words, and she stepped back when he suddenly turned toward her. “I apologize. That was ill done of me. It has been a trying evening and this…unexpected visit was, well, unexpected.”
“I understand.”
“I don’t think you do, but I’ll let it go at that, shall I? Good-bye, little bug. It was jolly good.”
Alice could feel tears pricking at her eyes. When Henderson had first stayed with them that summer so long ago, she had trailed behind Joseph and him endlessly, until Henderson had turned to her brother and said, “There’s a little bug following us, you know.” He’d started affectionately calling her “little bug” whenever they were alone, but it was the first time since his return that he’d done so. She smiled, then spun around, fearing she would start crying again—and just look where that had brought her the last time.
*
Henderson watched her go, and as the door closed softly behind her, he squeezed his eyes shut and pressed the heels of his hands over them. What the hell had he allowed? Being older, and supposedly a gentleman, Henderson had no business allowing Alice into his room. And yet, when he’d seen her standing there, looking so damned lovely, he let her in. He’d held her, knowing what could come of it. If there was one single thing he could give himself some credit for it was not taking her virginity, though God above knew he’d been tempted.
Alice had been so responsive, so lovely, so everything that he’d dreamt she would be. Would he ever get the sound she made when she found her release out of his head? He thought not. He prayed not. In one quick motion, he sat up and left the bed, grimacing when he saw the proof of his own release on the bed covers. Let the maids think what they wanted; he was quite certain it would not be the first time they’d found such a present in the morning. What they would not find, no matter how early they came to his room, was him. He’d already finished packing the night before. Used to dressing without the help of a valet, though he had to admit it was rather nice when one was available, Henderson dressed quickly, gathered up his satchel, and headed out the door. The rest of his luggage would be sent to the inn later, he knew. The Hubbards’ staff was efficient and he had no doubt that by luncheon, he would have all his things delivered.