Tears of Tess (Monsters in the Dark #1)(6)

My stomach twisted; I blushed. “Is it so bad I want you? Need you? We’re in a new country. Can we celebrate our first night?” My eyes flew to the bed and back to his gaze. “We could have a shower together, then I can show you my present.”

My present consisted of dressing in fishnet tights, garter belt, and the ridiculously expensive push-up bra I bought. I’d planned it all. I’d strut my stuff, and Brax would gawk, making me feel like a goddess. I’d massage him with strawberry body oil, until he couldn’t stand it any longer and secured my wrists with my knickers. He’d take me from behind, our bodies slip sliding intoxicatingly, arousing me beyond belief. I’d even been to the beauticians and had some rather painful waxing in my nether regions especially for the occasion.

I trembled at the thought of Brax’s gaze darkening, his body becoming feral and possessive.

He pecked my lips, groaning, “I’m super tired. Can we rain check till the morning?”

Disappointment flooded my bloodstream, dousing my need like ice water. Even though it killed me and tears tickled, I dropped my arms, releasing Brax from my embrace. “That’s okay. I understand.”

He sighed. “Okay, okay. If you need me so badly, I’m game.” His voice was resigned, but he smiled tiredly.

Are we really this stale?

Passion fizzled to fear. I couldn’t show him. Not now. Not when he seemed happy with vanilla and missionary every other month. I didn’t want him thinking I was a sexual deviant, or ruin our holiday before it’d even begun.

I made up my mind not to spill my secrets. It was a mistake to think I could. “No, you’re right. It’s late. We should go to sleep,” I muttered.

Moving away, I didn’t get far before Brax captured my elbow. Groaning, he ran a hand through his brown hair. “Why did you do that?”

I blinked. “Do what?”

“Lie. You never lie.”

Shame shimmered over my skin; I looked at the bright rug on the floor. “I’m sorry, Brax. I just—I don’t want to show you anymore.”

He straightened, sucking in a breath. “Why? What’s changed?”

Useless tears invaded my eyes. Stop tearing up! It wasn’t bad—just different. But I no longer wanted different. I wanted to please Brax. I hated being selfish. I’m a horrible person.

He ducked, looking into my watery gaze. “Hey, Tess. What is it? Tell me.” He pulled me to the bed and into his lap. I huddled into his chest.

What if I told him and he hated me? He’d pull away and leave me alone, just like my parents. I’d be another mistake.

I didn’t answer, letting him rock me, trying to untangle my jumbled thoughts.

Brax murmured, “Remember how we met? What you said to me?”

Of course, I remembered. He’d made me bleed. Our first encounter didn’t exactly conform to first meeting etiquette. I giggled quietly. “I called you an arse.”

He laughed. “Not that.” Stroking my back, he dived into past memories. “I was walking Blizzard on the beach and threw a stick for him. Out of nowhere, this girl careened like a fallen angel, completely out of control I might add, on a kite board. She bounced along the surf, splashing and spluttering, before a huge gust of wind catapulted her out of the water and right into the face of my husky.”

A phantom injury twinged at the memory. I’d been a flipping idiot to think I could kite board. It had been a ‘get outside my comfort zone’ attempt. It failed. Rather drastically.

Brax continued, “I couldn’t believe it when your kite took off down the beach, dragging you and my dog with it. I managed to pounce on you, but it took a good half an hour to untangle you from Blizzard with all those strings and harnesses.” His gaze darkened. “I was so worried when I finally got you free. You were bleeding pretty bad from your shoulder and had a black eye. My poor dog had a sore paw and a broken stick.” He ran a finger along my cheekbone.

The broken stick had caused the bleeding shoulder. Freakin’ stick.

“I asked if you wanted to go to the hospital, and you asked if it was really that bad. I didn’t want you to freak out, so I lied. I said it was just a scratch, when in reality it was a gaping hole, gushing with blood and bits of bark sticking out everywhere. I lied ‘cause I didn’t know what to say.”

I flinched. It had been pretty bad. Earned me eight stitches, but Brax never left my side.

“I lied and you said—”

“Never lie. The truth hurts less than fibs and fakers.” I remembered that day as if it happened two hours ago. I’d been hurt, because it was my eighteenth birthday and my parents forgot.

“The truth hurts less than fibs and fakers,” Brax repeated. “That’s always stayed with me because it’s so honest and raw. It told me so much about you and made me fall in love. So many people lied to me about my parent’s death. Glossing over the darkness, and hiding the gnarly truth.”

His arms latched tighter, pressing me hard against him. “Not having the chance to say goodbye will haunt me forever. And not knowing the truth about why they crashed eats at my soul.”

His eyes burned into mine. “So, Tess. Don’t lie to me. The truth is the only path for us.”

I nodded; he was right. I should never have brought it up if I didn’t have the guts to follow through.