Teach Me Dirty(112)

“But Dad…”

“GET TO BED!”

And I did. I did go to bed.

It was a long time before the shouting stopped downstairs.

I keyed in message after message to Mark, but I couldn’t face it, couldn’t face sending them.

Everything was about to fall apart, everything in my soul was screaming. Screaming danger.

And I couldn’t stop crying.

***





Helen



“You’re not going out. End of story.”

Dad was serious. He had his don’t push me face on. Not even Mum could argue with that face, but I had a go anyway. I had to have a go anyway.

“I’ve got plans… Dad, please!”

“Plans with Harry bastard Sawbridge?! Not bloody likely, Helen. Do you think I was born f*cking yesterday or something?”

“Not Harry!” I used the only other card in my hand. “Lizzie’s. I’m going to Lizzie’s.”

“Lizzie can come here,” he said. “Unless you want to tell me where you’re really bloody going. Where were you over Christmas, Helen?”

“George!” Mum said, but even she was tired of arguing. “Please… just give it a rest now.”

He downed the rest of his tea. “This isn’t done,” he said. “I’ll be getting to the bottom of this.”

“Lizzie wants me to go there… I have to help her with clothes… for a date…”

“It’s Lizzie’s, George, for Christ’s sake!” Mum put her head in her hands. “You’re giving me a migraine and it’s not even nine o’bloody clock yet!”

Dad’s eyes glowered. “Fine. I’ll drop you at bloody Lizzie’s house. What time?”

“But you have work…”

“WHAT TIME?”

I weighed it up. Mum wouldn’t even be home until eight. “Half eight?”

“Quarter past. I have a break between runs.”

“Cool,” I said, trying to seem a lot calmer than I felt.



I told Mark to meet me at half eight, at the pull-in at the bottom of the old recreation ground, but that meant time would be against me. I was wringing my hands by the time Dad picked me up, and that didn’t cease on the drive to Lawnside. I waved a lacklustre goodbye and walked slowly up to Lizzie’s block, hoping he’d pull away and drive off back to his own business, but he didn’t. He sat and watched me like a hawk. I had to go right up to the communal doorway and still he didn’t leave, so with trembling fingers I pressed the buzzer, praying to anyone who’d listen that someone would be home.

Ray’s slurry voice came through the intercom all crackled and demanding.

“What?”

“It’s Helen, is Lizzie in?”

Dad was still watching me. I tried to keep a smile on my face.

“Nah, she’s out.”

Fuck.

“Can I come up anyway?”

A moment’s silence, and I was willing him, really willing him.

“Fancy a bit of company do ya?”

My stomach tightened. “Yes. Yes, I do.”

The bleep of the door lock sounded and I was in. I held up a hand to Dad and climbed the stairs. Finally, once I’d reached Lizzie’s landing, I saw the car pull away. I breathed a sigh of temporary relief.

Ray opened the door in nothing but a pair of boxers. He had a can of cider in his hand, and looked at me with a smile that made me shiver.

“Where is she?”

He shrugged. “Dunno.”

“Is she with Scottie?”

“Who the f*ck’s Scottie?”

“You know, Scottie her boyfriend…?”

He eyed me up and down. “Never heard of no bloody Scottie. She was with some girl. Blonde. Nice ass.”

Rachel. It twisted in my heart. “Ok, well, could you please give her a message?”

“Like she ever listens,” he laughed to himself. “Alright, what is it, sweet cheeks?”

“Please tell her that my parents think I’m with her tonight, staying over.”

He smirked. “You being a naughty girl, Hels? I’ll put ya over me knee if you ain’t careful, love.”

The idea made my skin crawl. “Thanks, Ray.”

“You ain’t coming in? Got a can for you. Watch some TV all cosy if you like?” He scratched at his boxers.

I was already backing away when I thanked him for his offer.



Mark was waiting. I dashed through the swings and nipped under the fence, darting around the car to slip into my seat with ragged breath. I asked him to drive away before I even had my seatbelt on.

“Are you alright, Helen? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“It’s Dad,” I said. “He knows I’m not with Harry.”

He didn’t seem fazed. “Ok. That’s not such a problem in itself, surely?”

So I explained the whole deal, everything. My stupid lies and Dad’s conspiracy theorist mentality, and Lizzie not being in. He listened calmly, and slowly my breathing calmed, too.

“We’ll figure something out.”

I was still trying Lizzie, but there was no answer. I sighed. “I hope so.”