Tamed (Torn #5)(74)
He sighed. “These past few weeks have been eye-opening.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Before”—he swallowed—“with Hilary, all I felt was dread after she told me the truth. With you, I don’t feel that way. I just…I feel like this baby is mine. I feel like a dad.”
“And if it’s not yours?” I asked quietly. “What happens then?”
He looked over at me, a pained expression on his face. “No matter what happens, this baby is mine.”
“Adam—”
“No, I want you to listen to me. I’ve been trying to figure out how the hell to say this since that first appointment. Be quiet, so I can make sure I get it right.”
I grinned. “My bad. Please continue.”
“You scare the shit out of me. You always have. The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew there was something different about you. I knew you’d change everything for me.” He looked away. “And I was right. I didn’t realize how much I cared about you until you told me you loved me. To hear you say that…well, it scared the hell out of me. I reacted badly. I know I did. I deserve a swift kick in the balls for what I said to you, but I only said what I did because I knew I loved you, too. I couldn’t handle that. I couldn’t handle being broken again. If I gave you everything, I was afraid you’d toss it aside like it was nothing.”
I couldn’t believe what he was saying. I felt tears spring to my eyes as I listened to him pour his heart and soul out to me.
“Then, I saw you out here with Chloe that night, and I just…I lost it. I could handle loving you if you weren’t around to hurt me, but I couldn’t stand the thought of having you near. So, I lashed out again. Then, I got drunk and acted like an even bigger dickhead. I’ve hurt you so much, Amber. I don’t know how you can stand to be around me.”
I sat up. “It’s because I love you. No matter how hard I tried to hate you, I couldn’t. You hurt me, and I kept going back for more. You broke me, Adam, but I didn’t care. Nothing you said or did could keep me from loving you.”
He shuddered, his whole body shaking with emotion. “I love you, too. I just don’t know what to do with that. I never have. I can’t stand the thought of losing you or this baby.”
I swallowed, choosing my next words carefully. “I don’t plan to go anywhere, Adam. I just don’t understand what you want from me. If you want me to love you, that’s already a done deal.”
“I want you to be mine. I want to give you everything and never have it turned against me.”
“Do you really think I’d do that to you?”
He shook his head. “Every fiber of my being tells me you won’t, but…I’m scared, Amber. I’m so f*cking scared of what could happen.”
“No one knows what the future holds,” I said softly. “What I do know is that I want you more than I’ve ever wanted something in my life. The way I feel about you…I’ll never feel it with anyone else. You’re it for me, whether you realize it or not.”
He released my hand, only to raise his hand to cup my cheek. “And you’re not scared?”
I laughed. “I’m f*cking terrified of you, Adam, but I’m willing to take a chance if you are.”
“Everything is happening so fast,” he said softly.
“It is. Adam…” I hesitated. “Are you telling me all of this because we’re having a child? Or is it because you really love me? I don’t want you to feel like you have to be with me. I would never expect that from you.”
“I’m telling you because I love you. I’ve wasted so much time with you because I was a f*cking coward.” He frowned. “This baby is more of a blessing than you could ever imagine. I don’t know if I would’ve had the courage to tell you the truth if it hadn’t brought us together. I might have continued to act like a dick until you finally walked away. So, part of the reason is because of the baby, but it doesn’t change what I feel for you.”
I felt a tear slide down my cheek. He studied me for a moment before grabbing me and pulling me onto his lap. His mouth sought mine in the sweetest kiss imaginable. I leaned against him, my fingers reaching up to his hand. I threaded them through, clinging to him for dear life. I never wanted to let him go. I never wanted this moment to end.
“I love you,” he said against my lips. “I love you so goddamn much that it hurts to breathe. I’ll take my chances on a broken heart because I love you that much.” He pulled me tighter against him. “You’re mine. You always have been.”
He rolled so that I was underneath him. I expected him to kiss me rougher, but he didn’t. He kept our kisses sweet, deepening them with each stroke of his tongue. His hands found the ties on my bikini bottom and undid them.
“Can we…I mean, will it hurt the baby? After she got pregnant, Hilary would never…” He pulled away and looked down at me.
As sappy as it was, tears came to my eyes when I saw the emotion swirling in his beautiful brown eyes. There was so much love and tenderness in them.
“We can,” was all I said.
He nodded before pulling my bottoms away and tossing them aside. He raised his body enough to pull his shorts over his hips. In one swift move, he entered me. I gasped in surprise, my fingers tugging at his hair. His strokes were gentle and slow, building a small flame inside me.