Tamed (Torn #5)(66)

“Yeah.” She glanced back to Adam.

I looked back, too, and saw him in deep conversation. Whatever Drake was saying to him had Adam waving his arms in the air like a lunatic. All he needed to do was stomp his foot, and he’d look like an overdramatic chick in the middle of a temper tantrum.

“Are you really okay?” Chloe asked once we were back in her car.

I stared out the window. “Yeah.”

“Amber, talk to me, please. I want to help you.”

Something broke inside of me. Suddenly, I found myself sobbing and clutching on to her hand like it was a lifeline.

“I f*cked everything up,” I gasped.

Chloe found a place to pull over. After stopping the car, she pulled me into her arms. “What happened?”

I told her everything—my agreement with Alex that had started my downward spiral, every horrible and wonderful detail of my relationship with Adam, the men I’d slept with, how alone I’d felt in West Virginia, and finally, what had happened the night of her wedding and last night. The only thing I left out was what Adam had told me about Hilary. That wasn’t my secret to tell.

She just held me and listened as I poured my soul out to her. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you,” she whispered.

“I fell in love with him. How could I have been so stupid? He doesn’t care about me. He never has.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” she said as I pulled away. “It sounds to me like he pushed you away because he did care about you. Adam is a bit of a wild child, but he’s a good guy. I think something happened to him before he met you. He’s scared to commit even if he won’t admit to it. There has to be a reason why. Maybe if you both calmed down and tried to talk it out—”

“He hates me, Chloe. We’re past talking,” I said quietly. “Can we just…I want to go home.”

“Of course.” She shifted the car into drive and pulled back out into traffic.

Neither of us spoke again until we were back at her house.

I started up the stairs, but I stopped and turned to face her. “I can’t stay here any longer, Chloe. I’m sorry. I have to go home.”

She nodded. “I understand. I don’t want you to go, but I understand why you have to.”

“Thank you for everything,” I whispered before turning away.

As I packed, I cried. I tried not to, but with no one around to see me, I let my tears flow freely.



I slept most of the flight home. I didn’t think I’d be able to, but my exhaustion won out against my mind.

Once we touched down, I gathered my things and walked swiftly through the airport to my car. I debated on staying at a hotel in Pittsburgh instead of driving back to Morgantown in the middle of the night, but I decided against it. All I wanted to do was go home and crawl into my own bed. Maybe if I were lucky, I’d sleep my life away.

My tears reappeared as I drove. I’d fought so hard to forget about Adam. Going to L.A. and then his house had been stupid. I’d known all along that there was a good chance I’d see him even though I pretended there wasn’t. A sick part of me had craved the sight of him. I was so stupid.

Seeing Adam had ripped my heart out all over again. I knew he hated the fact that we’d been together on the beach, but I couldn’t bring myself to regret it. I wanted all of him, but I’d take whatever bits and pieces I could get. I was so lost in him that I didn’t know what to do.

My tears started falling faster as Nothing More’s “I’ll Be Okay” started playing in the car. That song seemed to completely sum up the last few years of my life. By the time I made it to my apartment, I was hiccupping from crying so hard.

I left my bags in the car. They would have to wait for another day. I walked straight to my apartment and then my bedroom. I dropped down onto my bed and curled up into a ball. I wiped my eyes as I tried to force the floodgates to close. I hated acting like this. Adam didn’t give a damn about me, and here I was, sobbing uncontrollably over him. If he could see me now, he’d outright laugh.

That thought turned some of my pain to anger. He had no right to treat me the way he had. I’d done absolutely nothing to him, except be his friend. He had so much animosity against me just because I cared. I couldn’t have found a more f*cked-up guy to fall for if I tried.

“Fuck him,” I whispered, wincing at the roughness of my voice.

I sat up and ran my hands through my hair, letting my anger grow. Being angry was so much better than feeling broken.

I opened my nightstand drawer to pull out a bottle of pain meds for my head when I noticed a folded piece of paper lying on top of the bottle. I picked it up and opened it to see Alex’s number. I frowned. I’d never been more tempted to do something in my life. Alex wanted me, which was more than I could say about Adam. But Alex was married, and no good could come from that.

He hates her, and she’s cheating on him, a voice in the back of my mind said, egging me on, hoping that I’d do something stupid.

I stared at the paper for a minute before finally making up my mind. I grabbed my phone and dialed Alex’s number.

“Hello?” He sounded half-asleep.

“Alex?” I asked.

He paused for a moment. “Amber?”

“Yeah, it’s me. I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight,” I said, unwilling to let myself think about what I was doing.