Tamed (Torn #5)(54)

I clamped my hand over my mouth to keep from crying.

Adam’s tears ran freely down his cheeks. “I took one look at her and saw everything that could have been. Then, I walked away. I had no future with Hilary or her baby. Even if I wanted to stay, Hilary never would have let me.” He glanced at me. “Maybe it was for the best. I saw Hilary two years ago. She was out with Brandon and their little girl. Looks like me leaving had finally made him man up. They found their happily ever after.”

“I don’t even know what to say, Adam. I’m so sorry that she hurt you like that.”

I reached out and took his hand in mine. He pulled it away as if touching me was the most revolting thing he could think of.

“It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter anymore. I learned my lesson early.”

“It does matter. It still bothers you, Adam. That’s why you won’t let yourself feel anything for me.” I took a deep breath. “I’m not her. You can’t punish yourself and me for something neither of us had control over.”

He glared at me. “I had control the whole time. I was the dumbass who chased her. I fell in love with her. If I hadn’t, she never would’ve been able to hurt me the way she did. So, yeah, I had control.”

I shook my head. “No, you didn’t.”

“I did.” He shrugged as if this was a normal conversation that didn’t bother him at all. “Now you know my life story. Feel honored. You’re one of the few. But knowing changes nothing. No matter how much you might want me, you’ll never have me. No one will.”

“Adam—” I started, but he cut me off.

“You don’t get it, do you? I don’t care if you love me. I don’t want you!” The cruelty in his voice cut through me like a knife.

“You told me I was everything to you. You wouldn’t have said that if you didn’t want me.”

He laughed. “You are everything to me in a way. Everything I care about, you provide. You f*ck me whenever I ask for it. You get down on your knees and suck me off like a good little girl. You never tell me no.”

I glared at him. “You’re lying. I know you are, so stop it. Just be honest with me for one damn minute.”

“You want honesty? Fine. Here’s what I think of you. I thought you were my friend. I thought we could f*ck with no attachment. But I was wrong. You think you’re in love with me, but you’re not. You just want to use me like everyone else. You’re a whore, Amber. You might not have been one once, but you sure as hell are now.”

“Shut up!” I shouted at him.

“You wanted honesty, so there it is. I think you’re a whore. But at least you’re good at your job. Why do you think I keep coming back? That cunt of yours can f*ck my dick like no other. I’m sure all those other guys would agree with me.”

“Shut up,” I whispered as I wiped tears away. “You’re only trying to push me away. It won’t work.”

He laughed as he stood up. “Think what you want. I don’t give a f*ck. But I do want to be clear about one thing. This…this thing between us? It’s over. I’ll never stick my dick in you again. God knows what I’d catch.”

I stared at him in horror. He gave me one last cruel smile before disappearing out the door. I just sat there, willing myself to calm down. It was useless. Tears continued to stream down my face, and my body shook with sobs. How could he be so cruel? He was only trying to push me away. I knew that, but it still stung like a bitch. There were so many layers to Adam, so much more than he showed the world. I’d seen parts of him that I doubted anyone else had seen.

I stood abruptly and grabbed my dress off the floor. This wasn’t over. I wasn’t going to just let him run away, not this time. I threw on my dress and ran from the room.

Eric looked up in surprise when I came barreling into the room.

“Where’s Adam?” I demanded.

“Uh…he went out. He mentioned Gold’s. He left a while ago though.”

How long was I sitting in that room, crying? I wondered.

I didn’t say anything else to Eric. Instead, I ran out the front door and around the block to Gold’s. It was late, but the parking lot was still full. I couldn’t believe it’d only been a couple of hours since I left this place. My whole world had changed.

The bouncer recognized me and grinned. “Back already?”

I nodded. “Have you seen Adam?”

“He came in a little bit ago. I haven’t seen him leave.”

“Thanks,” I said before shoving through the crowd.

I searched every table, every face, but I didn’t see Adam anywhere. I sat down on a barstool and scanned the room again. Nothing. If he were here, I would’ve noticed him. I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. I always knew where he was. Plus, he was taller than most of the guys here. He would stick out like a sore thumb.

I sighed before standing and doing a final sweep of the tables just to make sure I hadn’t missed him. Obviously, he’d slipped out without the bouncer noticing. I had no idea where Adam would be now. I’d have to go back to Drake’s house and hope Adam showed up sometime soon.

I stopped by the restroom to pee before I left. As I closed the stall door, I heard a girl moan a few stalls down. Despite my crummy evening, I grinned to myself as I peed. At least someone was having a good night.