Taking Turns (Turning #1)(88)

“You’re full of surprises, Smith.”

He takes my arm and leads me over to the table, setting both our glasses down before pulling out my chair. “The food’s getting cold.”

“Mmm-hmm,” I say, taking my seat and letting him push in my chair. “You have nice manners, Mr. Baldwin.”

“Don’t look at your napkin yet. Let me sit first. So I can enjoy it.” He goes back for the casserole dish and places it on the table, then serves me a heaping spoonful.

I really don’t know what to make of this version of Smith Baldwin.

“OK,” he says. “You can look now.”

I get a little nervous as I open up the napkin flap. In black marker it says, What will it take?

I look at him. Back down at his message. Then at him again. “What will what take?” I ask.

“To make your dream come true.”

I sigh. “I already told Bric. I don’t know what my dream is.”

“How could you not know what you want out of life? You’re thirty years old. Surely you’ve felt disappointment and wanted more.”

“Of course,” I say, tasting his food. “Mmmm. This is good, Smith. You should have dinner waiting for me every night when I get home from work.”

“See, that’s what I’m talking about. Is that what you want?”

“It was a sexist joke.” I laugh. “Role reversal and all that good shit?”

“But is it something you want?”

“A house husband? No. I can honestly say I’ve never wished for a house husband. The cleaning only turns me on if you never do it, then decide to do it to make me happy.” I wink at him, but he’s got a very serious look on his face. “What?”

“Do you see yourself with… a family?”

I just stare at him. “What are you talking about?”

“I don’t think my question was cryptic.”

“Who would I want a family with?” I ask. He’s about to answer but I put up my hand. “No, wait. You asked, so I guess you’re really interested. I’ll answer you. The person I’m having a family with is the only thing that matters.”

“So you’d like to fall in love?”

“Of course,” I say, laughing. “Doesn’t everyone?”

He takes a sip of his champagne and then sets his glass down before answering. “I think most people would. At least when they’re young. I can imagine you get to an age where you don’t care anymore. But I don’t think thirty is that age.” He looks at me for a second. “I don’t think thirty-six is that age either.”

“You’re thirty-six,” I say.

“I know. I still want to find love.”

“I can’t picture you in love.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know,” I say. “This is a pretty intense conversation for Christmas Eve Eve, isn’t it?”

“You wouldn’t know, would you? You’ve never had a Christmas Eve Eve dinner before. Maybe this is what everyone does?”

“Or maybe you’re just being weird. Are we dating?”

“Are we?”

“Smith, stop it. If you’ve got something to say—”

“I do have something to say.”

“Then say it.” I’m kind of annoyed right now and I’m actually feeling bad for being annoyed, because he planned a night of lady porn for me while I was at work.

“Why are you here, Chella?”

“I live here. Why are you here, Smith?”

“I like you.”

I just blink at him.

“What will it take, Chella? What will it take to make you forget about Quin and Bric and just take me a for a spin?”

“So you do want to date me? For real? And I should walk away from Quin and Bric? And the whole thing? The entire arrangement? Are you… jealous?”

“No,” he says. “And that’s the honest truth. Quin doesn’t want you.”

“Hey—”

“I don’t mean it that way. He likes you, but he wants Rochelle. You’re just a stand-in. And Bric… well, you’re definitely not Bric’s type.”

“What is Bric’s type?”

“Dirty whores, mostly.”

I laugh. Like kinda loud. “I think I fit that description, actually.”

“You do not. Bric likes desperate girls. Ones who need that dream he’s offering. You’re not her. You don’t need anything from us, and yet… here you are. Just tell me why you’re here.”

“I… don’t know what to say.”

“Try the truth.”

We stare at each other in silence.

“Why is it so hard for you?”

I take in a deep breath and let it out. “It’s a very personal thing. I like you a lot. I would date you. And you’re right about Bric and Quin, we’re not soul mates or anything. But I like them. And I’m with all three of you right now.”

“So you want it to stay that way?”

“Not forever. Not even for much longer, probably. But for now. I want this to stay the same for right now.”

“Why? Why did you go up to Rochelle’s room that night? Why did you allow Quin to sleep with you?”