Taking Charge (Lone Star Burn #4)(65)
Ted had been just as kind when he thought it would gain him access to her land. He’d also helped her out financially when she’d needed it. In fact, Ted had gone further. He’d offered to marry her, claimed he loved her.
In comparison, David was lagging behind . . . if Lucy took good sex with David out of the equation. Flashes of the two of them passionately entangled on her bed surged to mind, but Lucy stomped them back.
She turned to pick up her coffee cup, but missed and sent it crashing to the floor. Coffee flew in all directions, along with pieces of the cup that had smashed on impact. Lucy looked down at the mess with the same twisting emotion she felt about her relationship with David.
I knew it was too good to be true. No man is that kind, that attentive, while being that hot. This is what women get for reading too many fairy tales when they’re young. We’re all waiting for our prince to come and save us. But the joke is on us because those stories were written to keep us gullible, to make us think we need a man to be happy. And we fall for it. We believe what men tell us, like lambs heading off to slaughter.
Lucy went to her office window and pushed back the curtain. David was near the barn, talking to his men. With a self-deprecating laugh, she let the curtain drop. I am back where I started. I took back my ranch only to hand it over to someone else. Sure, David’s men were nicer than Ted’s had been. And, yes, being with David had felt like heaven while it had lasted. In that way, he didn’t compare with Ted at all, but had any of that been real?
Their attraction for each other couldn’t be faked, but David could have used it to his advantage. And the feeling that they had also become friends? That can be faked.
Lucy thought about how fragile Michelle’s marriage had turned out to be. All it took to collapse was for Michelle to want something for herself.
All it took for David and me to end was asking if he was lying to me.
How do you forgive the kind of selfishness Ron shows Michelle?
How do I believe anything David says now that I know he’ll break a promise and not even feel bad about it?
Lucy looked at the boxes around her office and covered her face with a hand. She couldn’t imagine wanting to ever try another one of the toys. How could she without thinking about David? Without picturing how they would have read over the instructions, laughed over the possibilities, and explored them together?
What if I’m wrong and David is a good man whose only mistake is trying to help a stubborn fool of a woman? What if being angry with him is the greatest mistake I’ve made since coming home? I’ve never been happier than I’ve been with David.
What if he’s the one I should be growing old with and I’ve thrown it away without having the sense to fight for it?
Lucy closed her eyes. Maybe a woman standing in a room full of sex toys has no right to pray for anything, but if anyone is listening, I need some guidance. Some sign. Please. I don’t know what to do.
Lucy’s phone rang, and she jumped. She fumbled to answer it and almost started laughing when she saw the caller ID. It wasn’t God or her parents, it was just Sarah.
“Lucy, do you have a minute?”
“Sure,” Lucy said while sitting down at her desk. “What’s up?”
“How are you?”
Lucy laughed without humor. “Honestly? I’m a mess again. Or still. So really, nothing new to share here. How are you?”
Sarah cleared her throat. “I know you have your business that takes up a lot of your time, but you do most of it on the computer, right?”
“All of it,” Lucy answered. Now that I’m not test-driving anything.
“I need to ask a favor of you. It’s a big one.”
Lucy clenched her phone and sat forward. “Anything.”
“My OB/GYN said I need to stay off my feet for a little while. She said I should stay as calm as possible. Tony wants to hire someone to be in the house with me while he works, but I don’t want that. I don’t need someone to clean; I just need someone to be with me for a little bit until we get past this rough patch.”
“Oh, Sarah, I don’t know if I’m a good choice, especially if you need someone to keep you calm. I’m a human train wreck.”
Sarah made a sad sound. “I know things are complicated there right now, but I need you. I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important.”
Lucy felt horrible. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to help Sarah; it was that she hated the idea of bringing her negative state of mind into Sarah’s home. However, Sarah sounded desperate. I should suck it up and be there for my friend.
Her chest fluttered as a thought came to her. Maybe that’s my answer. I need to stop worrying about myself and take care of someone who has always been there for me.
“Sarah, I can be there by tonight if you need me to.”
Sarah let out a relieved breath. “I do.”
Still gripping the phone tightly, Lucy said, “I’m sorry I hesitated. It had nothing to do with how much I care. I’ve let myself get all tangled up in my head, and I didn’t want to lay that weight on you.”
“We’re like family, Lucy. Your problems aren’t something you need to hide from me. Friends, at least the ones you’re meant to have in your life, want the good and the bad. Let me be there for you while you come and be here for me.”
Lucy wiped away a happy tear. A part of her kept expecting to lose Sarah as she’d lost her parents and her brother. Sarah kept proving her wrong, and she loved her more for it. “I love you, Sarah. I’ll look into flights when I hang up.”