Taking Charge (Lone Star Burn #4)(26)

“Leave something behind? Sometimes I wish I could.”

Lucy’s eyes flew to Michelle’s, and her friend instantly began to backpedal. “I’m happy with my life, but we all have our challenges. You’ll work yours out. You always were able to do anything you set your mind to.”

Lucy smiled ruefully. That wasn’t at all how she felt lately. She wanted to ask what troubles had momentarily put a sad look in Michelle’s eyes, but she didn’t. Michelle would tell her when she was ready. Instead, she asked a question that had been burning inside her. “Michelle, what do you think of toys?”

“Like for kids?”

“No, for adults.”

Michelle leaned forward and whispered, “What kind of toys are you talking about?”

“You know—like vibrators and stuff like that.”

Michelle’s face turned bright red. “Well, I don’t know anything about them. But there are shops for them in Dallas. Are you feeling that lonely?”

“It’s not about being lonely.” Lucy had been curious about what her friend would think of what she was selling, but she was regretting bringing the topic up. Michelle looked mortified. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking, asking you such a personal question.”

Michelle was quiet a moment, then said, “Buying one would be a waste of time for me. I’ve never been able to . . . Ron says some women can’t . . . and after all the sex we’ve had, I tend to agree with him. Even when it feels good, it never feels as good as they write about in those steamy books. I’m okay with that, though. I’m okay with how things are, and so is Ron.” She laid her hand on her stomach again. “Plus, we must be doing something right.”

Lucy leaned forward and exclaimed in a loud whisper, “Wait, you’ve never had an orgasm?”

Michelle smacked Lucy’s arm. “Don’t put it in the paper for God’s sake. A lot of women can’t. Everyone is built differently.”

Lucy lowered her voice, but she was firm in her reply. “No, we all have pretty much the same parts. You’ve been married for five years. I can’t believe you’ve never.”

Michelle’s eyes teared up. “Are you trying to make me feel bad?”

No, I’m wishing I knew which toy would cure that. “No, I’m just surprised, that’s all. And I don’t believe some women can’t. I mean, maybe someone has a condition, but to me it sounds more like an excuse than a diagnosis.”

“Are you suggesting Ron is not good in bed?” her friend asked, sounding suddenly angry with Lucy.

“No. No. But there might be some things he doesn’t know. Things about you that if you knew, you could show him.”

Michelle gasped and whispered, “I would never mas—do what you’re suggesting. I’m a married woman.”

“Exactly. You should be just as happy as your husband is. Aren’t you at least curious if you can be?”

Michelle’s anger dissolved somewhat. “I’m not like you, Lucy. I never dreamed of living in the city or having wild orgies. I wanted a simple life, and I have one. Of course things could always be better, but sometimes you have to accept what you’ve got.”

“First, just because I moved to a big city doesn’t mean I dove into orgies. Second, I’m tired of accepting that life has to suck. I don’t think it does. I’ve made up my mind to make my life one I’m happy with—really happy with. You could do the same.”

Michelle waved a hand nervously in the air. “I don’t know how we even got on this topic.”

Lucy made a face, grateful her friend didn’t sound angry anymore. “I brought it up, sorry.”

The waitress came over, and Lucy paid the bill. After they were alone again, Michelle said, “And besides, even if I wanted to try something like that—where would I get one?”

Not from me. I have a feeling if you saw what’s in my office, you’d pass out. “Everything is online, Michelle, and they send the items discreetly packaged, so no one knows. Buying them has become commonplace.”

“I wouldn’t even know what to buy.”

There’s an irony to this. A good salesperson would convince her to spend four hundred dollars on the stuff I have in stock, but that’s not what she needs. “I’d start with something small like a silver bullet. Something simple.”

Michelle blushed and hugged Lucy. “You are never allowed to tell anyone we had this conversation.”

“I won’t. It’s really not a big deal, Michelle. You’ll see.”

They walked out of the restaurant together. “I’m pregnant. I can’t believe I’m even considering this.”

Lucy stopped walking and sought to put into words what she was feeling. “Being a mother shouldn’t mean you aren’t still a woman. And being a woman shouldn’t mean that enjoying sex is wrong. I can’t picture a man who’d have sex if he thought he’d never orgasm from it. Don’t ever be embarrassed about wanting the same.”

Michelle smiled shyly. “This feels like old times. We used to talk about everything, remember? I’ve missed that.”

“Me too.” And she realized in that moment just how true that was. Michelle had loved Lucy’s parents and had been a frequent extra daughter in their house throughout the years. Friendships like that should be sustained. Their season wasn’t over.