Taking Chances (Taking Chances #1)(92)
“I'll see you tomorrow Harper, sweet dreams.” He whispered into my mouth before kissing me hard one last time.
On their own accord, my hands reached out for him, “Can you stay with me?”
Heat flashed through his hazel eyes, “Not tonight. I want to be sure this is what you want.” I started to protest, but he stopped me with another mind blowing kiss, when he pulled back, both of us were breathless, “Sleep on it, we'll talk tomorrow.”
***
I woke early the next morning and stayed in bed for almost two hours thinking about what I want. I know what I want, but I don't know if I can have that. I think I lost the right to have it, and how would the family feel if I were to start dating Brandon again? Would they think I'd never actually cared for Chase, and that every day I wasn't constantly wishing for another stupid time machine so I could go back and stop him? I felt like it would be one big screw you to them. I mentally kicked myself for letting myself act on my feelings for Brandon last night as I took a shower and walked downstairs for some breakfast.
“Hey Mom.” I kissed her cheek and thanked her for the protein smoothie she'd made me. “Good timing...?”
“I heard you in the shower, figured you'd be down here soon. How did everything go yesterday?”
“It was really nice. Like, oddly nice.”
Mom tilted her head to the side and gave me her, I'm thoroughly confused but know you're about to tell me anyway so I'll keep my mouth shut, face and waited. I told her about the weird conversation with Carrie after we'd first gotten there and about the rest of the time with Brandon's family. I finished by lamely admitting that I'd kissed Brandon last night before he left.
She smiled and grabbed my hand, “I know you think you can't, but you can move on in that area of your life too. In fact, you should. Chase wouldn't want you to raise the baby and live your life alone.”
“I won't be alone,” I countered, “I'll have you guys.”
“You will have us, always, but don't shut love out of your life. Chase would want you to have a husband, he would want the baby to have a father.” She wiped a tear from her cheek.
“But isn't this too soon? I'm so confused, it's like when I was fighting my feelings for Chase when I was dating Brandon, only now I feel like I'm acting as if Chase didn't matter to me by even considering anything with Brandon.”
“For a lot of people, two months is too soon. But your situation is entirely different because of what happened between the three of you before. So that doesn't exactly apply to you and Brandon now. If you're worried about us Harper, don’t. We all want for you to be happy, and we agree Brandon makes you happy. We wouldn't have called him to help you out of your mourning if we were afraid you would eventually go back to him.
“If you want to do this on your own, then you should. But, if you want to be with him, don't miss your chance with him again. He's good for you, and though he has every right to be bitter about your baby, he already loves him more than we could ever hope a man in your life would.” She paused for a minute and leaned back in her chair, “I know what Chase thought of him, and I promise he would be happy with your choice. He knew Brandon could take care of, and love you, better than anyone. That's why he didn't interfere with your relationship for so long.”
We sat in silence a few minutes while I let that sink in. It's like she knew exactly what I needed to hear, to know the family wouldn't judge me, and most importantly, for someone to tell me Chase would want me to be happy and move on too. Claire leaned over and hugged me tight before speaking again, “I think the real question is, how did you feel after you kissed him?”
“Like I could finally breathe again.” I answered honestly. “I still love him Mom.”
“I know you do, sweetie.”
“Is that wrong?”
“Not at all, and it doesn't dismiss the love you had, and still have for Chase. I know how you've always felt about both of them. Tell me,” she switched directions, her face suddenly mischievous, “how was the kiss? He sure was up there longer than I thought he would be, seeing how he had to carry your sleeping butt up there.”
Heat flooded my cheeks and a wide smile quickly stretched across my face, “Amazing.” I said a little breathless, remembering his lips on mine and moving down my neck. Mom chuckled at my expression.
“Hmm...” Bree walked sluggishly in the kitchen with Konrad, “Mom's giggling, and Harper's blushing. I have to know what's going on here.” She hugged me and sat on Konrad's lap in the seat next to mine.
“Harper kissed Brandon last night.” Mom was leaning over the table like she was sharing some seriously juicy gossip.
“Well it's about damn time!” Bree said faking a little exasperation.
I looked at her stunned, “How can you even say that? It's only been two months Bree.”
Her face fell to a sympathetic smile, “I know, but you're only holding back because you're afraid of letting go of Chase's memory. Tell me friend, has anything changed in your heart? If Brandon asked you right now to marry him, what would you say?”
Yes. I didn’t even have to think about that or answer it for that matter, “But Bree –”
“Allowing yourself to be with Brandon isn't a bad thing. It's also not discarding what you had with Chase, and it's what he would want for you. We all do.”