Taking Chances (Taking Chances #1)(137)

“When you left for school, I had a hard time adjusting, and hearing your voice over the phone made it harder. I started working more, staying on base longer, and only communicated with you via e-mail. I thought distancing myself further would help me cope with you leaving.”

My head was swimming, I couldn’t believe everything he was telling me. I hadn’t known anything different until I moved here, so I hadn’t hated my life growing up until I started hanging around with the Graysons. I started hating Sir for how distant he’d been, and though I’d always figured it was because of my mother, I had no idea how much her death still affected him to this day. Hearing his words made it difficult to continue hating this man at all. My arms were twitching, wanting to wrap around Sir for the first time in my life, but he didn’t usually say this much to me during one month of living together, and I was afraid if I moved or said anything, it would all stop.

“I will never forgive myself for the way I responded to the e-mail you sent when you found out you were pregnant.” Sir whispered, his tear-filled eyes never leaving mine, “It was the exact same thing Janet’s parents told her when we found out she was pregnant with you. They hated that she was with someone in the military, hated me even though I’d never spoken to, or seen them. We hadn’t been together long, but I knew I wanted to marry her, and the only thing that stopped us was her parents. When they disowned her for not aborting you, we married that next weekend and I’d never been happier. We were so young, she was barely eighteen and I was nineteen, but we were on top of the world and I couldn’t wait for you to come along.

“I was terrified for you when I read that e-mail, and I stupidly thought I could keep you safe if I could stop you from going down the same path your mother and I had been on. As soon as I sent the e-mail, I wanted to die. I couldn’t believe I’d done that, I knew you would never do something so heartless, and that you would probably never forgive me either. Claire Grayson called me that day, and to put it mildly, she didn’t hold anything back. I was glad you had a family that loved you the way I’d never shown you, and figured you not forgiving me would be for the best. So that’s why I stayed silent, even after you all tried to reach me before Liam was born and for your wedding. I thought staying away would be the best thing for you and your new family. Brandon’s letters helped me with that; I was able to know more than I probably would have if we’d continued talking the way we always have. But when he said he wasn’t going to continue writing me, I panicked. I thought I was helping you, but I know all I’ve done was hurt you. I do love you Harper, I’ve always loved you.”

My jaw dropped. That was the first time he’d ever said that to me.

“I’m proud of the woman you’ve become. You have handled everything life has thrown at you in a way not many could, and I’m thankful you didn’t let certain things ruin your life the way I let them do mine. You have a great family, I couldn’t be happier with your choice in Brandon. It’s obvious how much he loves you and Liam, and if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be here now.” He looked over at Brandon, “Thank you son, for everything.”

Brandon simply nodded and continued making lazy circles on my upper arm. Shifting Liam over to Brandon’s lap, I shakily stood up and walked toward Sir. He stood and stiffened momentarily when I wrapped my arms around his waist, before awkwardly placing his own around me.

“I love you too.” I said through the lump in my throat.

“Oh Harper,” his own voice was gruff with emotion, “will you ever forgive me?”

A laugh that sounded more like a sob escaped my throat and I stepped back, “This family is all about second chances, you don’t even have to ask.”

He hesitated a bit, but wrapped his arms around me again and hugged me tight, “I have missed you so much. Nothing was the same after you left.”

I had no idea what to say. This conversation has been so unlike anything I’ve ever had with Sir, and it changes everything that’s happened over the last twenty years, especially the last two. I couldn’t miss my life with the old Sir, but if the man that just explained his actions throughout my life were to leave, I would miss him greatly. We stepped away from each other after minutes of holding each other, “Would you, uh, would you like to meet your grandson?”

Sir’s eyes filled with tears again as Brandon brought Liam over to us.

“This is your grandpa, little man.” Brandon said as he held Liam’s squirming body to his chest. “Can you say ‘hi’ to Grandpa?”

“Go bye bye!” Liam said with a toothy, scrunched-up nose grin. Didn’t matter if we were saying hello or goodbye, it was always go bye bye with him.

Sir didn’t respond, his jaw was slack and the corners of his mouth were twitching up.

Liam looked at me and patted Sir’s chest. I nodded and said “Grandpa” again.

Looking back at Sir, Liam patted his chest again and said, “Go bye bye Grapa!”

“He’s waiting for you to say ‘hi’ back to him.” I explained.

“Oh!” Sir huffed, “Hi Liam. It’s good to finally meet you.”

“He wants you to hold him,” Brandon said awkwardly, “is that okay with you?”

“Of course, uh –” he held his arms like he was going to cradle him and I laughed.