Takedown Teague (Caged #1)(66)

“Why don’t you let me decide that?” she replied, and her mouth was on mine again.

I have no idea how long we stayed there, standing in the doorway, making out between the hall and the bedroom, but we were both out of breath by the time we stopped. Tria pulled away first, because I might never have, and then she looked at me for a long moment.

I couldn’t decide if her gaze made me feel uncomfortable or not. Eventually she sighed and then placed her cheek against my chest, leaning against me.

“I had given up, you know,” she said.

“On what?”

“I didn’t think you…you know…”

Pulling back a little, I looked down at her.

“I didn’t what?”

“That you just weren’t interested,” she said with a shrug.

I let out a short, humorless laugh.

“I just didn’t want to be a dick,” I told her.

She tilted her head up and pressed her lips softly to the base of my throat.

“Don’t run out on me like that again,” she said into my neck.

“Okay,” I said.

“Promise.”

“I promise.” My arms went around her back, and I pulled her closer against my chest. “I thought you were pissed.”

“I wasn’t pissed,” she told me. “I just…wasn’t ready for that. I can’t go from roommate to lover in thirty seconds.”

“Oh…um….” My voice trailed off with no direction or purpose.

“Are you going to be okay with that?” Tria asked in a small voice.

“With what?”

She let out an exaggerated sigh before looking up into my face.

“I’m not ready to have sex with you.”

“Oh! That.”

“Yeah, that.”

I trailed my fingers down the side of her face.

“Whenever you’re ready,” I said, and I hoped I wasn’t lying to her. “I’m not in any hurry.”

She raised an eyebrow at me, and I shrugged in response.

“How long do you need?” I asked. “Ten minutes?”

She laughed and leaned against me. I held her tightly and rested my cheek on the top of her head, wishing I had been joking so we could both laugh. There was no doubt that I would wait, but I didn’t have to like it.

“I can keep kissing you, right?” I asked for clarification.

“That sounds like a good plan,” she said with a nod. “I just don’t want to…”

“What?” I asked when she didn’t continue.

“I know you’ve…been around.”

I had to laugh at that one.

“Have I?”

“Well, um…I think so.” She looked up at me with her eyes full of concern. “I mean, you’re just so…so…”

I had to prompt her to continue.

“You’re about the best looking, most built guy I have ever seen in my life!” she finally blurted out. “You have to have had hundreds of girlfriends! You could have anyone!”

More laughter. I took her hand and brought her back into the living room, figuring the bed wasn’t the best place to have this sort of conversation. We sat next to each other on the couch, and I reached over to put my arm around her and bring her back to me.

Now that I had her close to me during the daylight hours, I didn’t want to let her go again.

“I have only ever been in one relationship,” I told her, “and that was years ago. I just…don’t really do well with them. Yes, I’ve had hookups but no girlfriends. Not in ages.”

“Why not?”

All of Yolanda’s words flooded back through my head.

“Yolanda said I didn’t give anyone a chance,” I finally said. “I don’t know if that’s true or not. I just…f*ck.”

I unwrapped my arm from her and stood up again.

“I can’t do this, Tria…I just…I’m not cut out for this!”

“For what?” she asked, and the innocent and understanding look on her face was enough to bring me down.

“I f*cked up once,” I said quietly. “This is where it got me. I don’t give a shit about anyone or anything. I’m just…here, Tria. What can you possibly see in that?”

“Why?”

Even if she could have convinced me she would listen without judgment, I couldn’t have told her.

“I’m not going to tell you,” I said bluntly. “That’s part of the shit you’d have to deal with.”

She stared at me for a good long time, then reached out and pulled me back to the couch beside her. She slid her hand up my arm and reached out to touch my face.

“You don’t see yourself very clearly, Liam,” she told me, “but it doesn’t matter, not right now, at least.”

“What does that mean?”

“You tell me,” she said. She focused on my eyes and didn’t waver. “Do you want to try to do this?”

“What if I f*ck it up?” I asked.

“How about we deal with the present first and worry about shit that might happen later?”

I licked my lips and tasted her on them.