Synergy (See #3)(21)

I looked down at the devil’s trap. “Just put the rug over this. We may need it.”

Madison nodded, and I turned to climb the stairs.

My skin flushed with anticipation, my heart was racing. I didn’t want to fight with him. I had to find a way to fill this void between us. I knew he loved me, but I knew he hated himself, and that was making us weak.

I found him in my room, sitting on the black leather couch, leaning forward on his knees, staring at the floor. I hesitated as I tried to see what he saw today, what he did, but the familiar block was in place; he wasn’t letting me in.

I walked slowly to his side and tensely sat down next to him.

“Draven,” I whispered. “I’m really scared.”

Instantly, he looked up at me, and I saw compassion in his eyes. He reached his arm around me and pulled me closer. “You should be.”

“Don’t say that,” I muttered, holding back tears.

He was quiet for a moment, then let his arm fall from around me. “So...Silas,” he said quietly.

Here we go. “I promise I haven’t seen him before today. He just showed up this morning, and if he hadn’t...” tears began to encase my words. “I think Madison would be dead. I would be.”

His eyes met mine, and I showed him. I let him see the crow land between us, how Madison ran to them, the men. How Silas killed them. I couldn’t judge his mood from his placid expression.

“Then there was the witch,” I mumbled, letting him see how two of the images Madison had sketched had already appeared and that there were darker ones sure to come.

“Tell me that’s not Madison on that floor. Tell me this demon isn’t going to kill her when she figures out that the boy she dreamed of is trapped by him and she goes to save him.”

Draven sighed. “I can’t...because I don’t know.”

A tear escaped and ran down my cheek. “This whole time, I’ve been worried about us, what’s happening to us, even though I knew that prince was real, that her dreams had come to life before. I never saw this coming.”

“I’ll get you to a safe place,” he said quietly.

I knew him well enough to know that he was choosing his words very carefully. He said ‘you,’ not ‘us’ – not ‘them.’ He said ‘you.’

“I’m not going anywhere without you.”

“Don’t do this to me,” he said as he leaned forward again.

To you? Seriously? “Do what?”

“You just don’t get it. You don’t understand that the world itself is telling us that we can’t be together. That I’m fighting as hard as I can against forces I can’t see to be with you. You don’t understand how hard it is to look at you and know that I can kill you with a thought. That I could become what I’ve always fought to end.”

“You aren’t becoming anything,” I argued.

He stood abruptly and began to pace. “You think this is all in my head? That I don’t see a glow all around you – around others? That I don’t sense energy on every level? That I don’t feel weak when I refuse to give in to that call? Do you think that I haven’t tried everything to be who I was? To understand why this happened to me? That I haven’t analyzed every single memory of every past life – a life with you – a life I ended?”

“It’s called change, Draven,” I said as I stood and began to match his pace. “Life is about change - every second we change and we grow and become something else. Is some change hard? Yes. Is it impossible to weather? No.”

He stopped, and his green eyes pierced into mine. “This isn’t puberty, this isn’t a move across the ocean, this isn’t me deciding not to become a career musician – this is life and death. Your death.”

“What’s the purpose of living if all you feel is pain? Because if we let this darkness win, if we let it rip us apart, we’ll both be in agony, and you know that. I know you love me ... I need you to love yourself.”

“I would rather you live in agony than die.” He said under his breath as he glanced away. I could swear the room had turn colder in that instant. He was pushing me away.

My frantic stare rushed over his additive image. I was going to ignore that goodbye in his eyes and fight like hell to keep him at my side. “You don’t even know if you can do that – you think you can.” I bit out. “You have no idea what you’ve become. No one does. Quit selling yourself out.”

“Silas was very clear with me,” he stated with coldness as his jaw locked and fury immersed him.

“When?” It was clear now why his self-loathing was amped up to a new level. Silas. Freaking Silas.

“After you left.”

“What did he say?” I demanded as I tried to see my answer.

He balled his fist as the room dropped another few degrees. “We have a deal.”

“What do you mean?” If those two thought they were going to bargain over my fate – they’d lost their damn minds.

“We aren’t going to let you die.” Was his very emotionless response.

“How is that a news flash?” He was talking in circles and it was making me dizzy at this point. I mean how many times could you have the same exact argument?!