Sweet Rivalry (1001 Dark Nights)(30)

I nod my head. “Agreed. But I’m the one who gets to sleep with a clear conscience every night.”

“Tom, go get him the numbers.”

What in the f*ck did I just do?





Chapter Eighteen



Harper




“What in the hell was going on in there?” It’s my first thought as Ryder emerges almost an hour later from the conference room. He looks frazzled and tired as he lifts his glasses and rubs his eyes.

Exactly like how I felt out here pacing the halls, wondering if they’d awarded him the job, concluded they had, and ready to figure out my next step for a job since I’d fallen short for Wade and Meteor. But the look on his face tells me differently. It’s not one of jubilation but is rather pensive and stressed.

“Just a lot of questions,” he murmurs and yet he doesn’t look me in the eye for more than a second or two before glancing around at the others staring at him and wondering why he was in there so long.

“Can we have everyone in the conference room, please,” Mason requests, snapping everyone’s attention off of Ryder and to him. The room fills with the sound of shuffling and the tension is palpable as people move toward the room, and yet I stand and hold Ryder’s eyes. Try to figure out what they are telling me without telling me. There’s a quiet sadness there with a hint of something more…that I just can’t read and before I can look too deeply, he lifts his eyebrows in shall we.

He follows behind me as we walk into the conference room, and I hate that all I feel is a sense of discord when this morning there was so much more between us.

I should be smiling. I’m coming down from the high of numerous bouts of incredible sex with a hot guy.

I should be excited. I’m back in the game after two years, doing what I love to do, and I’ll find out if my gamble in telling Wade I’d get the contract in exchange for the Director of Development position will pay off.

I should be second-guessing myself why I’m not either of the above, and yet I’m doing neither. Instead I just want that feeling back from this morning when I was ready to conquer the world instead of wondering if I’m about to lose a piece of it.

I exhale an unsteady breath and glance over to Ryder, who’s looking straight ahead at Mason. But his knee is jogging up and down and that tells me he’s just as nervous as I am.

“I’d like to thank you all for your hard work in completing your bid packages. We had a set of unusual circumstances come to light when we were in the process of awarding the bid.” Murmuring begins throughout the room and I can feel the trepidation and unease in the air as we all look to each other wondering what Mason means by the comment. “Due to these circumstances, we’ve made a slight change to the project.”

Ryder’s knee jogs harder.

My fingers wring together.

“Phase One has been awarded to R Squared Management.”

Ryder’s sharp inhale of air is audible just before the room breaks out in chatter as heads nod and thumbs-up are given his way.

I glance over to him and he smiles softly at me. Something is off with him; I’m not sure what. I’m thrilled for him. And at the same time am more than disappointed because I just failed Wade. And myself.

Back to square one with a pocketful of hope and a heart full of determination.

“And phase 2,” Mason says, snapping the room to attention when we thought the awarding was already over. “Phase 2 has been awarded to Meteor Development.”

It’s my gasp I hear this time. It’s my disbelief that clouds everything else I hear around me as I try to wrap my head around what’s going on.

I don’t understand it.

But I’ll take it.

My heart is pounding through the confusion; my eyes are fighting back the tears stinging in my throat.

My doubt whether I lost my touch vanishes.

Our table is swarmed with well wishes from our disappointed but considerate colleagues. And it’s only when they leave the room to begin to clean up their desks that I am able to turn and look over to Ryder.

He’s sitting facing me, elbow on the table, fingers playing with that beard of his, eyes full of emotion.

“Congratulations,” he says softly, almost as if he wants to absorb the moment in silence a bit longer.

And so I let him. With my eyes on his. With our smiles wide.

Until I can’t stand it any more.

“What in the hell happened in there, Ryder?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you about it later.”

“So this means we kind of get to work together for once. Not against each other. However are we going to handle that?” The thought strikes me as I speak and makes me smile even wider.

He leans forward and lowers his voice. “Considering your panties are currently renting space in my jacket pocket, I can think of a lot of ways we can handle it.”

I laugh. “Good thing you came in early then and found them.”

“You have no idea.” And for some reason, I know he’s talking about more than just finding my panties. His face becomes serious for a moment, eyes flicking over to where Mason and another guy are speaking, before looking back to mine and filling with mischief. “I think we need to set some ground rules right off the bat though.”

“Seriously?”