Stripped Bare (Stripped #1)(80)

If we weren't meant to be, why did the thought of not touching my palm to his or laying my head on his chest or watching him sleep or coming apart beneath me make me feel like I wanted to throw up?

Why did that hurt so badly? Like I was tearing a piece of me out of myself?

I couldn't help but doubt my feelings, still, I swallowed hard and beat them back. The girls were right—the irrational feelings were ruling me. But West wasn't a boy. He was a man, older and better than any of the other guys I'd dated. He'd taken all my issues in his stride until this afternoon.

Then he'd put his foot down, told me to decide, and left me to do just that.

“Okay?” Allie asked as I stepped off my stool.

“Yeah.” I gave her a small smile. “I'm just going to the bathroom.”

I wove my way through the tables to the back of the bar where the restrooms were, then pushed into the women's. It was mercifully empty. Apparently everyone else had something to do on a Friday at three p.m.

I locked myself into a stall, put the toilet lid down, and sat on it. It was silent minus the air condition lightly blowing, and I leaned forward, my elbows on my knees, and propped my chin on my hands. The plain white door was the best blank canvas for my thoughts as I played them out.

How would I feel if I couldn't hear West's voice every day?

How would I feel if I couldn't feel his skin against mine?

How would I feel if I couldn't curl myself into his arms?

How would I feel if I couldn't hear his dirty whispers in my ear?

How would I feel if I couldn't tease him only to give in?

How would I feel if I couldn't lie my naked body against his and have him kiss the top of my head?

How would I feel if West Rykman wasn't one of the most important parts of my life?

Incomplete.

My eyes burned with tears.

Incomplete. I'd feel incomplete, because he was one of the most important parts of my life. I had no idea when it'd happened, but it had, right under my nose, probably when I had my eyes closed.

Wasn't that always when it happened?

Didn't you always fall in love when you were living the emotion instead of deciphering it?

Oh no. I'm in love with West Rykman.

How was it possible? Did it matter? Was falling in love the amount of time you spent with someone, not the length of time you'd known them? Two weeks—but almost every possible hour.

Hour upon hour of touches and looks and kisses and... okay, orgasms.

But was I in love with him, or the way he made me feel?

I closed my eyes. His face came to mind instantly, and the one I could see was the one that had laughter in his hypnotic blue eyes and that irresistible dirty, sexy smirk curving his soft lips.

Could I live without it?

No.

It was the tiniest, most indiscernible whisper from my heart. No. I couldn't live without it. Or him.

God.

I couldn't live without him, and he'd given me the chance to.

It wasn't a chance I could take.

“Mia?” Allie's voice was soft. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” I got up and unlocked the cubicle, pausing in the doorway as I looked at her concerned face. “Yeah, I'm okay.”

“Honestly?”

“Promise you.” I smiled.

“Do you know what you're doing?”

I nodded and walked to her, grabbing her hands. A lifetime of friendship, and she was still my biggest rock. “I'm going to go sort out my best friend's family and remind them whose weekend this is, and then I'm going to go to her rehearsal dinner. Then, tomorrow, I'm going to watch my beautiful best friend walk down the aisle and marry the man of her dreams. And, then...then I'm going after the man of my own. So come on. Let's get this show on this road.”

Allie smiled, stopped me from moving, and hugged me tight.

I had the best friend in the world, because that hug said everything she needed to.





Me: Promise me you'll be there today. I want you to be.



I stared into the mirror as my hair was fixed. Loose curls hung over one of my shoulders, held in place with bobby pins. The soft white robe I was wearing had my name on the breast, a gift from Allie's mom to me, Jaz, and Lucie for being her bridesmaids. Allie herself had given us each the most gorgeous bracelets, set with our birthstones.

They'd be the only things that'd defer from the white and baby pink color scheme she'd settled on.

Lucie was already sitting on the sofa in the living room, painting her toenails, while Jaz was next to me getting her hair done too. Allie's hair was done thirty minutes ago, and she'd been MIA ever since. I was dying for my hair to be finished so I could go and find her. The house was a buzz of activity, so it was amazing nobody had pulled her out of hiding.

She was scared. It had been written all over her face. This day had literally been eighteen months in the plans, and despite the almost-fight at the rehearsal dinner last night that I'd lost my mind over, it was going to go perfectly.

Not that she believed it.

Even informing her that I'd personally haul *s out of the building hadn’t calmed her down.

I honestly thought she was going to throw up, so the moment my stylist put the sparkling headband in my hair, I got up, tugged my robe around me, and went in search of her.