Stolen and Forgiven (Branded Packs #1)(27)

Holden stood in the doorway so Ariel couldn’t walk past him. He needed to make sure she understood some of what was happening before she faced the fray.

“Today is the day of the branding,” Holden said softly.

Ariel frowned and looked down at her own brand. “What does that mean?”

He closed his eyes for a moment before speaking. “It means today is the day I am forced to follow through with the SAU’s sanctions. They require all shifters, ages two and above, to wear the brand of their species.”

Ariel’s eyes widened and her face paled. “Two?” she whispered.

He fisted his hands at his side. “Two. I was the one who branded you, and I will be the one to brand them, as well.”

Ariel swayed on her feet, and he reached out and gripped her arms. “They force you to brand babies?”

He growled softly. “Yes. I know I’ve mentioned something to that effect before, but I didn’t go into detail. The SAU forces me to brand every child in our Pack. I have been doing it since I was fifteen and became the Alpha.”

Ariel looked up at him, and he expected to see revulsion, instead, the pity he saw there made him frown.

“Oh, Holden, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe they make you do that. Those f*cking bastards. They are killing you each time they force you do to that.”

He leaned back. “You don’t think I’m a monster?”

She shook her head and put her hand on his chest. “No, of course, not. I think those who put you in this position are. They are the same ones that gave me nightmares and made me scream. I will never blame you for what they make you do. But I have to ask, how do the babies fare? I mean, I know they heal quickly, but Holden, that’s horrible.”

He cupped her face and looked down at her, his jaw set. “What I am about to tell you must not leave this room. The Pack knows because they have faced it before, but like our secrets of the change, this is another.”

“Of course, Holden. I would never hurt you or the Pack. You saved me. Took me in, even if it was against your best interest.”

He relaxed marginally even though he wasn’t a hundred percent sure she truly felt that way. The Pack hadn’t embraced her like they might have in the past before the Verona virus had hit. But that was a discussion for another time—one they would be having.

“As Alpha, I can take the pain from them in this. I can’t do it often, and keep my reserves for the branding.”

Ariel’s eyes widened and tears formed in her eyes. “Oh, Holden. You take the pain from each child.”

“Of course,” he said simply. “Every month, we tell the children they must scream and lash out as if they are in pain while I take the agony into myself. I can feel each burn, each stroke, but I can’t show it. Some slips through and the humans believe it’s because I hate what I am doing. It only eggs them on to keep at it. They want us to treat ourselves as monsters so they can continue to do the same.”

“Holden,” she whispered. “There are hundreds of Pack members inside these walls.”

“I know.”

A single tear fell down her cheek, and he brushed it away. “Don’t cry for me, siren.”

“I will if I want to. You’re in pain because you are protecting your Pack like a good Alpha should do. And the children have to scream and pretend it hurts. I hate all of it.”

“The children will feel it heal, I can’t stop that, so they will have some pain later, but it’s mostly itchy at that point. They wear their collars and keep their secrets. Even the babies know not to share with the humans who cage them.” He frowned. “If we had an Omega, things might be different. The role as healer, for both the physical and emotional needs of the Pack, can take away that pain and diffuse it while all I can do is take it all in. But we don’t have one, so I make do.”

Ariel shook her head. “And if you can’t meet other Packs to mate in, you might not find an Omega until the next generation.”

“If at all,” he said softly.

“I will need you by my side for this as my mate, Ariel. I know we aren’t surefooted yet, but we need to stand tall for the parents who have to watch their children come into a fold we never should be in to begin with. We keep having children, because if we don’t, the humans win, but it’s a harsh reality out there. The guards will once again be there, but there is still a good chance you can remain hidden as you are.”

She shook her head, her shoulders deflating. “We’ll never be truly safe with me inside the den walls.”

“We never were before, Ariel. I brought you in, and I’ll be damned if I’ll let them take you.” He hadn’t meant to be that honest, but she’d left him bare with her words about the branding. He’d underestimated her, and he needed remember not to do that again.

Ariel froze for a moment then frowned. “Wait. If you could do that, then why did I feel the brand marking my skin?” She held up a hand. “Not that I want you to feel that pain for me. You do enough already, and I don’t want you in pain for me, but I don’t understand why you didn’t. Does that make sense?”

He let out a breath. “You’re my mate, siren. We might not have the ink on our skin, but my wolf is yours. We’re too connected for the Pack magic to work. I had trouble with my control over that power when I first started and children of friends of mine are even harder to keep a rein on the pain.” His chest felt hollow, and he let out a shaky breath. “That’s why people tend to stay away from me if they plan on having children. The closer I am to them, the harder it is to keep my connection in a way that allows me to keep their pain and not have it go back to them. If we have a bond in any way, it almost makes my powers null.”