Steal the Night (Thieves #5)(2)

So we were all in a holding pattern. Daniel was working with his small army of vampires. Dev was bringing in the cash. I was waiting for it all to fall apart.

And now Neil was dead and Daniel’s plan to get his friends and family into role-playing games was going very poorly.

Dev smiled. “We could make a better game, Dan. It could be all about sex. We roll the dice and that’s how many orgasms we have to give Zoey.”

I threw my hands up. “I give up, boys. What’s going on with Dev? Who gave the faery hard-core drugs?”

It was the only explanation. Dev could drink all day and never show a single sign of being trashed. Over the course of the last two hours, Dev had downed a single fifth of Scotch in an attempt to help Danny get his drink on. Dev drank, Daniel fed, and a good time was had by all. We’d taken a break about thirty minutes before so Daniel could have his faery snack. When the boys had returned to the game table, they’d both been wasted.

“Don’t look at me.” Neil sipped his glass of Pinot Grigio. “I didn’t help him go all Trainspotting on us.”

Zack glanced between Dev and Danny and then back to me. “I just smell the Scotch, Zoey. Are we breaking up then?” Poor Zack had put on a brave face, but I knew he was anxious to get back to his apartment two floors down where his girlfriend, Lisa, had just moved in. I was pretty sure Zack couldn’t care less about role-playing games, but he would never tell his master that. Zack was nothing if not a good and faithful soldier.

I shot Zack a pleading look. “Don’t go yet, please. I don’t think I can get either one of them to bed if they pass out.”

Dev laughed long and hard. “Oh, my lover, I will always come to bed for you. Just leave a trail of your pretty little underthings and I will follow.”

Daniel thought that was hilarious.

“Seriously, I want to know what’s going on.” I gave them my best “nagging wife” look. “Nim, you didn’t smuggle something fun out of Faery, did you?”

Nim’s violet eyes narrowed. “Nothing I gave to the boys. Does Devinshea really believe he can perform as plastered as he is?”

Dev pointed at the nymph. His gorgeous face was a mask of outrage. “That is a ridiculous question. I promise you, I can perform. I can perform right now.” He looked down and something caught his eye. “Look, Daniel, my little painted character has managed to get Zoey’s little painted character into a perfect sixty-nine. Quick, give me yours and I’ll work him in.”

Daniel laughed as he passed over the little resin figure he used when he played. I snapped my fingers in front of the vampire’s face and he turned to me. “Hey, baby. Have I ever told you how hot you look in Hello Kitty PJs? It makes me think of *.”

“I am serious, Daniel,” I said harshly, not pointing out that just about everything made him think of his favorite part of the female anatomy. “What did you do to Dev?”

His blue eyes were sleepy even though it was only two in the morning. He should be at full strength, but Daniel had never been able to handle his liquor. Becoming a vampire hadn’t changed that. Dev might be able to perform, but my vampire was going to pass out soon. “It’s no big deal, Z. It was just a little experiment.”

“Shut up, Donovan,” Dev shouted, looking like a five-year-old who was about to be told on. “We’re not supposed to tell our wife about that.”

Neil looked up from his wine, gasping in anticipation. “Oh, god, Dev and Daniel are experimenting. Someone get a camera. I’ve waited for this day all my life.”

Dev snorted as he laughed. “Not that way. He would always have to be in control. I would always have to catch. He would never let me pitch.”

I snapped my fingers. “Focus. What experiment?”

Previous experiments had included shooting Daniel to see how quickly he would heal, Daniel flying Dev into the upper atmosphere to see how fast he passed out from oxygen deprivation, and the infamous “is Daniel really faster than a speeding bullet” incident. I had lost a good set of china to that experiment. I blamed MythBusters.

I turned to Zack, who all too often was the guy making notes as Dev and Daniel acted like idiots for their version of science. Zack pressed his lips together in a mulish show of male solidarity.

Shaking my head, I played the brand new card I had against Zack. “I’ll just have to ask Lisa. I’m having lunch with her tomorrow. I’m sure we’ll have lots to talk about.”

Zack’s eyebrows formed a perfect V in the middle of his brow. “That is so…how am I supposed to respond to that?”

“Don’t tell her, Zack,” Dev said as he found new ways for minis to fornicate. “Don’t give her the upper hand. You’ll never get it back.”

“Don’t tell me, Zack,” I repeated with a grim resolve. “I’m sure Lisa would love to hear about all the dangerous stuff you have to do. You know women. We need to vent every now and then. I’m feeling the need to bond with your girlfriend.”

Zack’s eyes widened in desperation. Yeah, I had him on the ropes. “Zoey, I can’t go against my master.”

“Your master passed out.” Neil pointed to Daniel, who was drooling a little on the table where his head was currently resting. “I don’t think he’ll even remember tomorrow.”