Steal the Day (Thieves #2)(55)

“Zoey,” Dev yelled, his head coming off the altar, trying to find me.

“Yes, baby.” I could see him if I really stretched. He was smiling, his eyes a little bit glassy.

His laughter filled my world. “I’m really high, sweetie. That’s some good shit they have. You should try it.”

He would have been a blast in Vegas if we’d made it there. Mary Jo came into view, her pinched face looming over me. “You should be ashamed of yourself, trying to force an angel to fall.”

“That’s rich, lady, considering you’re about to sacrifice him to a demon.”

That brown bouffant shook. “Do you think crops just grow themselves? I don’t particularly like having to do this, but if the okra doesn’t come in, what is our community going to do? The demon is just going to eat the angel. I’m sure he’ll float back up to Heaven. If you had your way, he would fall.”

“This isn’t going to go the way you want it to. I’m not who you think I am, and trust me, there isn’t a demon around who wants to mess with me.” I didn’t mention that it was my husband they didn’t want to mess with. It tends to take a little of the “badass factor” out of the speech. “Whatever demon you’re about to call, once I tell him my name, he’ll kill you.”

I hoped that was true. Demon kind wasn’t allowed to write contracts with anyone considered the property of Vampire. It really only made sense that they weren’t allowed to eat us either. I thought I was fairly safe, but I had some fast talking to do if I wanted to save my supremely stoned lover. He was giggling as a couple of coven members made sure the symbols on his chest were properly drawn.

“Stop it. That tickles,” he said.

“You aren’t an angel.” Mary Jo stared at me like I was a piece of trash.

“Neither is he,” I told her. “You have no idea what you’ve gotten in the middle of.”

Mary Jo laughed. “The truth is I’m saving him. He was going to fall if he stayed around your kind. This way his soul will go to Heaven, and my master will be happy. Your soul, if you even have one, will go with my master.”

I lifted my head as far as it would go. “I’m a companion. Do you understand what that means?”

Mary Jo’s eyes widened. “A companion? Like a vampire’s companion?”

It wasn’t shocking she was surprised. She could be surrounded by witches and demons and werepigs and it would never have occurred to her that I could be a companion. We’re extremely rare, and as such, very few companions live outside of vampire society.

“Yes, I am.”

“You’re lying.”

“Then why were there vampires in your woods last night?”

“It’s a coincidence.” But she looked around as if wondering what was hidden beyond the light of the torches.

I made one last try at reason. “Do you understand the nature of a vampire, you crazy witch? Do you think you can take me from him and he’ll let that pass? Do you have any idea what he’ll do to you?”

She stared down at me, her face lit with pride. “I am protected. I have given four innocent souls to the lord Nemcox. He won’t let some nightcrawler harm me. I’m important.”

I laid my head back down because there was no point in talking to the clinically insane. “Then bring him on because I bet he’s more rational than you are.”

The witches gathered in their circle, and after settling some coven business like nailing down the date for the next potluck, they finally got around to the business of chanting. Chanting is very important to witches. They take it seriously. They also take their damn time doing it.

“Zoey.” Dev called to me as I was trying to see if I could tell anything from the Latin they were chanting. “Zoey, I had a thought. I’ve never done it on a black altar right before a coven calls a demon. We could check it off.”

I groaned because Dev’s sexual bucket list was getting longer by the minute. I knew we were getting closer to the grand finale when the name “Nemcox” was chanted over and over again. I hoped this was the real thing and not some group of deluded asylum escapees. I might have a shot dealing with an actual demon. If they were all just taking a little of what they gave Dev and spilling some blood and calling it a ritual, then we were screwed.

The thought also occurred to me that I might be overestimating my celebrity. What if this Nemcox hadn’t been reading the demonic version of People and had no idea who I was? I was certain it wouldn’t be the first time some poor sacrifice had tried to talk him out of his dinner by claiming they were too important to eat.

The chanting reached a crest, and Mary Jo held her hands up as she finished the incantations from the black leather book.

The minute I smelled the brimstone, I knew I was in luck. I forced my head off the wooden altar, and sure enough, there was a medium-sized, red-skinned demon looking around. When I say medium-sized, I mean for a demon. They can run to the extra-large, so I was less intimidated by this one than I had been by Lucas Halfer. Of course, I was really intimidated by Halfer, so it’s all relative.

The demon roared, greatly impressing the coven. They were effusive in their praise for their master. There was a lot of butt kissing inherent in this ceremony. Mary Jo was particularly good at telling the demon how much she worshipped him and how devoted she was. Apparently, she and Mr. Renfro were trying for innocent sacrifice number five. I was really going to have to kill her if I got the chance.