Stanton Bliss(58)

I nod and feel a little better.

“I love you, darling. Good luck and ring me as soon as you can. I will sit by the phone.”

“Ok.” I hesitate as my eyes tear up. “I love you.”

As if sensing my fear, she speaks again. “Tash, you’re going to be ok. Don’t be scared. Go and get your baby.”

I nod with renewed purpose. “Bye, Mum.” I hang up the phone and turn to the others.

“Let’s do this shit,” I state, and turn and walk back to reception with them all cheering me on from behind. I feel like Rocky Fucking Balboa.

We are steered down the corridor by the nurse who eventually opens a door at the end of the hall. Joshua and I walk in sheepishly; this is frigging scary. If these walls could talk, I’m sure they would have some gruesome stories.

She places four towels on the bed. “I’m sure you two would like to shower and make yourself more comfortable before we put you on the drip.”

My eyes find Joshua in his dirty polo get up and I smile.

“Thank you.”

He nods and seems to remember, for the first time, what he is wearing.

She leaves the room and I walk into the bathroom. “Oh, look! A spa bath.”

“You can forget it,” Joshua mumbles from the other room. “We are not getting in that spa bath.”

I smile. He’s so right, I can think of nothing worse than sitting in a bloody bath.

I shower, get into my gown, then into bed. Joshua showers and changes into new clothes and sits next to the bed, too, taking my hand. He’s quiet, too quiet.

The nurse comes in, places the cannula in the back of my hand and puts the medication into the drip. My heartbeat is pumping so damn hard, it will be a miracle if I don’t have a heart attack before the birth even begins. She hooks me back up to the heart rate monitor and we, once again, hear the magic of our baby’s heartbeat.

She eventually leaves, and Joshua blows out a relieved breath as he takes my hand and kisses the back of it.

“Now we wait,” he whispers.

I smile. “Are we sure about the names?” I ask.

His face falls. “Don’t you like them anymore?”

“Yes, it would help if it didn’t know so many people. It’s annoying.” I sigh.

Joshua bites his bottom lip to contain his smile. One of his prerequisites is that he doesn’t know anyone with the same name. Do you know how hard that is? He knows one of everything.

The door opens and a tall young man walks in. “Hello.” He shakes our hands. “I’m Jeremy Seymour. I’m the resident anaesthetist.”

“Hello.”

“I just wanted to go through an epidural with you.”

“No, I’m fine, thanks,” I reply. Bloody hell, they really do try and force this shit down your throat.

He smiles warmly. “That’s fine. I just want you to know that there is only a small window where you can have it, and once that has passed, it’s too late.”

I nod. “Thank you. I am really focused on doing this naturally.”

The doctor smiles warmly. “Of course. Good luck.”

The doctor leaves us in peace.

Josh takes my hand. “‘Tash, they all keep going on about this, maybe you should do it. Like Cam said, there is no bravery medal at the end.”

I smile. “Josh, I am stronger than you think.”

“I know,” he admits nervously.

“Trust me. I can do this.”

Seven hours later

“Ahhhhh, Get me a f*cking epidural. Get it to me now!” I scream as I writhe around in pain on the bed. Joshua is wet with perspiration and has thrown up four times just from stress. This isn’t childbirth of natural free love and all that glow. This is an exorcism of The Devil, where he is ripping himself out of my body.

I shake my head at Joshua frantically. “No. No. Take me home, Josh. Take me home. Take me home. Take me home.”

“Baby,” Joshua whispers. “Calm down.”

“It is not oh f*cking kaaaay!” I scream.

“Natasha.”

“I don’t want a baby anymore. I don’t want a baby anymore. You have it,” I whisper frantically. I’m wet with perspiration and the tears are running down my face. Holy f*cking shit. This hurts. Like murdering death pain, hurts.

“I want an epidural. Get that guy back. Get him back.” I point to the door and start to panic as I feel another contraction coming.

I screw up my face and clench. “Ahhhh!” I cry as I curl up in a ball.

“This is ridiculous,” Joshua cries. “Get her an epidural now!”

“Too late, Joshua,” Dr. Walton tells him. “She’s nine centimetres dilated. Almost time to push.”

Joshua’s wide eyes meet mine. Oh dear God. I’m going to die. I am going to die today.

I start to shake my head. “No, no, no.”

Dr. Walton smiles calmly.

My frantic eyes meet Joshua’s again. “I can’t do this, Josh,” I sob. “This is too hard. I can’t do it. Knock me out, give me a C-section.”

Joshua’s eyes dart from mine to the doctor’s in panic.

“I want to go to the bathroom,” I announce.

Joshua raises his eyebrows in question and I nod. “Yes, I want to go.”