Stanton Bliss(40)

He reads it out:

Adrian you look as beautiful as ever.

I narrow my eyes as I think of a reply. “Write this. As do you, I am watching you.”

Bridget and I clink glasses.

“Excellent.” Bridget nods. “Then he will think we know who it is.”

Adrian and Joshua frown at each other. “That’s a shit reply.” Joshua shakes his head in disgust.

Bridget points at Adrian. “I know. Just write, I’m here, come and get it.”

Adrian hands over the phone to us. “You two reply for me. I’m not in the mood for this stupid game of Cluedo.”

I take the phone from him, and Bridget and I try to think of a witty comeback.

“It’s a woman,” says Joshua. “Any money it’s a woman. A guy couldn’t be f*cked with this shit.”

Adrian frowns. “Disappointing if it is.”

Bridget puts her hand on her hip in disgust. “You should be so lucky to have sex with our species.”

Adrian wraps his big arms around Bridget and squeezes her tight. “If you say so, Didge.”

She smiles at his over the top affection. Didge and Adrian have become inseparable. They live together, they party together and they are getting over broken hearts together. Adrian went on a date just this week.

Hand the phone back to Adrian.

Another text comes through and we squeal in delight and look around. It is someone here. My eyes scan the crowd but I can’t see anyone suspicious. It beeps again. I hand the phone back over to Adrian.

God, Adrian. I just want to f*ck you so hard.

Adrian’s eyes bulge and he laughs as he reads it out.

“It’s a guy.” I point my glass at him. “Girls don’t say they are going to f*ck you so hard.”

Bridget nods. “Good point.”

Joshua winces as he obviously gets a visual of Adrian copping it.

Adrian smiles mischievously and texts as he reads it out.

You must have me mistaken for someone else. I’m a virgin and am waiting for marriage.

Joshua rolls his eyes. “Witty,” he replies flatly. We all laugh at his stupid comeback.

Serial party pest, the girl with the dark hair and big boobs, comes walking over.

“God, I f*cking hate this bitch,” Bridget mutters under her breath.

I drop my head to hide my smirk.

“Where is Ben?” she asks.

Bridget’s back straightens in disgust. “He’s at home with his wife,” she replies coldly. I smirk. Didge is dying to piss her off. Lets see if she takes the bait.

The girl turns up her nose. “Idiot,” she murmurs.

Bridget’s temper starts to fray. “She is the one with a ring on his finger. I think that makes you the idiot.”

I smile into my drink. Oh no, Didge has that bitchy tone in her voice. Cat fight impending.

The stupid girl shrugs. “Its not his ring finger I’m interested in.”

I can practically see the red steam shoot from Bridget’s ears. We are interrupted as everyone bursts into laughter and the crowd dissipate to allow someone through. My face drops in horror and I burst out laughing. Cameron and eight friends have just come straight from a buck’s party. They are wearing hot pink t-shirts that say:

Yes

I f*ck

On first

Dates



Along with Sombrero hats and bright pink lipstick. They are really drunk, I mean really drunk, with one man at the back having trouble standing.

“What have me and Ben got to do with you anyway.” The girl snaps at Bridget.

Bridget leans in closer to the girl and I look over to Adrian, screwing up my face, all too aware that this is going downhill real quick.

“Ben is taken. Whore bag.” Bridget sneers.

The stupid girl laughs as Cameron stumbles over and grabs me in an embrace. “Presh is here,” he calls as he spins me around.

“Put her down!” Joshua snaps.

“Ben doesn’t want to be taken, you stupid bitch,” she sneers.

“What’s going on?” Cameron slurs.

“I was just telling stupid here all about Ben’s wife,” Bridget replies.

Cameron pulls his head back in surprise. “Ben’s married?” he slurs and questions.

Adrian and I get the giggles, while Joshua drags his hand down his face.

Adrian’s phone beeps a text.

I’m coming to get you. Now.

His eyes widen and I snatch the phone from him.

A tall man comes over and stands next to us. Mine and Adrian’s eyes meet in horror. This is him? This is the sexy texter? Oh my God, he looks like ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic.

Adrian drops his head to hide his smile.

“Adrian, I’ve come to take you home,” he says in a Russian accent.

My mouth literally drops open, and this time it’s Joshua who starts to chuckle.

“I’m warning you, pretty girl. I eat girls like you for breakfast,” the girl snaps at Bridget.

Cameron interjects, “Excellent.” He points his beer at her. “Bi-girls who get in my bed are my favourite kind of people.”

“Fuck off, Cameron!” Bridget snaps.

“But… but she just said she’s going to eat you for breakfast,” he stammers, confused. Holy shit, he’s so drunk.