Stanton Bliss(23)

“We are going to head off,” states Brock, his eyes glance around. “Where’s Cam?”

“He left with his friends.”

Brock smirks and raises a brow. “He’s in for a fun night.”

“I guess.” I smile.

Brock looks between Nicholas and I in question, then checks for the guards that are left. “You ok here, or shall I stay?”

“We’re fine. Peter and Greg are at the bar.”

“Ok.” He checks his watch.

“What?” I frown.

“I might just stay for a bit.”

I shake my head. “We are fine. You’re not here to guard us.”

His eyes flick to Abbie and she raises a a brow in question.

I smile. Abbie is good to go and somehow, I think Brock is in for a long night. The poor bastard’s going to need painkillers tomorrow when she is finished with him.

Christ, Natasha and Didge are going to flip.

“We will leave after we finish these drinks,” Nicholas replies to ease Brock’s nerves.

He looks around again and then focuses back on Abbie, his eyes dropping down her body. She’s as gorgeous as ever in a skin tight dress, and I can see him doing an internal risk assessment. Hmm, guard Adrian or go home and f*ck a hot sex maniac? She wins. “Ok. Catch you both later,” he replies.

Abbie bends and kisses me on the cheek. “Holy shit,” she whispers in my ear.

I smile and Brock tugs her hard by the hand. “Hurry up, woman,” he snaps.

She looks at me and smiles like the cat who got the cream as he drags her out, caveman style.

“That leaves us.” Nicholas smiles.

My nerves start to thump. Time alone with Nicholas is dangerous. I just don’t know how much longer I can resist him for.

His knowing eyes hold mine. “I have something to tell you.”

I stare at him and sip my drink. “Ok.”

“As you know I am flying out tomorrow.”

I nod.

“What I haven’t told you is where I’m going to.”

I frown into my glass.

“I thought you would have asked me,” he says, as though he is hurt.

“Where are you going, Nick?” I smile.

He hesitates. “I’ve taken a position lecturing at a University for twelve months.”

My grin widens. “That’s good.”

“In London.”

My face falls. No.

He grabs my hand over the table, clearly sensing my hurt.

I drop my head. I don’t even know what to say to him. Go. Don’t go. Why?

“I understand why you have pushed me away,” he whispers.

My sad eyes meet his. That makes one of us then.

“I’m in love with you, Adrian.”

My heart does a somersault and we sit still, staring at each other sadly. I have no words – nothing that will make sense, anyway.

“Why are you going then?” I can’t stop myself from asking.

“Because… since I have been back and spent some time with you and your family…”

“They aren’t my family.”

“These people are your family, Adrian.” He squeezes my hand. “They love you.”

I smile sadly.

“I know what you need.”

I frown. “What do I need?”

“You need to be loved wholeheartedly.”

My heart sinks.

“And I can do that.”

What is he saying? I don’t understand.

“But I need more time.”

I feel the lump in my throat start to hurt. He needs more time. Not ‘I love you and I’m staying.’

I nod. “I know.”

We sit still as our silence speaks volumes.

“He was a lucky man,” I whisper. His eyes glaze over. “To have you love him so much.”

“I love you, too. Babe. Please don’t ever forget that.”

“But,” I whisper.

“But I’m not ready to give up his memory yet.”

I nod as the tears fill my eyes. Stop it, for f*ck’s sake, stop it.

“I know you may not be here when I get back…” He hesitates as if the next sentence pains him. “You may meet someone else and fall madly in love.”

“And then what?” I dare him to go on, angry that I’m so in love with someone who is emotionally unavailable.

“Then I will mourn the loss of you.” His eyes hold mine. “It will be the biggest regret of my life.”

Fury starts to pump through my blood. He’s willing to take that risk. I sit still, unable to talk, unable to articulate what it is that I want to say. I don’t even know what to think. I knew he wasn’t ready and that’s why I pushed him away. And now he is being totally honest and all I want to do is beg him to come back to me. Hell, this is one f*cked up situation.

His eyes hold mine. “Say something,” he begs.

I shake my head and stare at him through blurry eyes. “There’s nothing to say Nicholas,” I whisper through my hurt.

He grabs my hand again and lifts it up to kiss the back of it. “Can we stay in contact, please? I need to hear your voice.”

I frown and rip my hand from his grip. What he is telling me is that he doesn’t want me but wants to hold me on ice until he’s ready.