Standing in the Shadows (McClouds & Friends #2)(26)

She tried to be objective, adult. Dreams were messages from the subconscious mind. This was fine and good, and she appreciated the courtesy. But what could this dream indicate, with her life the way it was? She'd never had sex with Connor. She'd barely ever managed to have sex with anybody, at least not successfully, so why should her subconscious mind use sex to make its point? To get her attention?

She hugged her knees to her chest, still shaking. If that was the intent, it had worked. Just a dream, she repeated. Just a dream.

She glanced at the clock. Seven o'clock. Time to make some tea and calm herself down with something busy and constructive, but horror of horrors, there was nothing left to do. The apartment was already painfully tidy. Everything that could be alphabetized was. Every surface that could be scrubbed shone. Her packing was done, her travel clothes laid out, down to the last hairpin. If this went on, she would be reduced to cleaning off the gunk that accumulated on the computer keyboard with cotton swabs and alcohol. Coping mechanisms gone wild.

The intercom buzzed. Her first thought was that it might be Connor, and she stumbled across the room, electrified. "Who is it?"

"It's me, silly. Tonia. Don't tell me Ms. Perfect is still in bed?"

"Oh, hi, Tonia. The elevator's still broken. Take the stairs."

She pulled on some sweats while she waited for Tonia's knock. She opened the door and gave her friend a grateful hug. "You are such a sweetheart for helping me. I hate leaving Edna at the pet hotel."

Tonia tossed her black curls. "No big deal. Sorry I had to bug you so early. Shall I take Edna home with me, or just take your keys?"

"Whatever's more convenient for you," Erin said. "And I am taking you out to dinner as soon as I get back."

"Oh, stop." Tonia rolled her artfully made-up eyes. "I'll take Edna home, then. She can chase some of the neighbor cats around. She's such a warmongering bitch, she must feel stir-crazy in this tiny place."

Erin was all too aware of how the fussy Edna hated being cooped up in an efficiency apartment. But life was tough all around.

"I'm sure it'll be a nice treat for her," she said tightly.

Tonia lifted up a Starbucks bag. "I brought us some sticky buns, plus a couple of double-shot lattes. You need a stiff dose of caffeine."

Erin devoured a gooey bun while Tonia pawed through Erin's suitcase. "You can't go meet an eligible zillionaire dressed like this," Tonia protested. "You don't have a single thing that shows off your chest, and you have a fine chest, girl! What am I going to do with you?"

Erin shrugged. "I'm going for professional, not sexpot."

"The two are not incompatible." Tonia wagged an admonishing finger at her. "When you come back, we are going shopping, and I will personally show you how to reconcile them."

"I'm broke," Erin said. "No shopping until my ship comes in."

Tonia rolled her eyes. "That's what I love about you, Erin. So naive. Let me lay out the plan for you. Step One, borrow my clothes to make that all-important first impression. Step Two, get passionately friendly with the zillionaire. And then, then we will go shopping."

"Oh, stop it. This is a work thing. And besides, I…" Her voice trailed off, and she started to blush.

Tonia blinked. "Don't tell me you're blowing off this opportunity because you're hung up on that guy who ruined your life!"

"My life is not ruined, for your information," Erin snapped. "Connor came to see me yesterday."

"Here?" Tonia's jaw dropped. "In your apartment? What did he do? Did he come on to you? I'll shoot him if he came on to you."

"No! He didn't! He came to tell me that Novak and Georg Luksch broke out of prison. He's worried about my safety. He tried to persuade me not to go on this trip." No need to mention that intense hug, since it had been completely platonic. At least on his part, if not hers. "Actually, I thought it was sweet of him," she said hesitantly. "To warn me."

"Sweet?" Tonia snorted a derisive sound. "He wants into your pants. Sure, he saved you from the evil henchman of the big bad criminal, but you told me yourself that all that Georg did to you was flirt. And McCloud turned him into hamburger right in front of you. Maybe some girls go for that sort of thing, but you're not one of them."

It was painful to hear the facts laid out in Tonia's merciless style, but Erin nodded. "It was horrible."

"Watch out, Erin. This guy is violent, and wild, and dangerous. He's got a grudge against your dad, and he's way, way too interested in you. And you keep making excuses for him, like he's got some weird power over you, or something!"

"That's not true." She laid down the half-eaten sticky bun. Her appetite had faded away. "I don't think he means me any harm."

"No? He's insane if he tries to stop you from going on this trip. Anything that interferes with this client is harmful to you."

"I know." Erin stared out the window at the soot streaks on the wall of the adjoining building with hot, brimming eyes.

Tonia sighed. "I know it's hard. The whole clinic nursing staff was gooey about your devotion. Every single day, there you were to read to him. Like Lassie Come Home, or something. It was adorable."