Split(109)

My words fade into the rhythmic sounds of the medical equipment as it beeps and hisses around us. Nausea rolls through my stomach as guilt and shame eat at my insides. I left Payson to avoid feeling, closed myself off to every single person who killed the numbness I refused to emerge from. It’s never been about this town; it’s always been about the people in it. About their love for me and my family, their concern, and even their pity. After Momma died, I was suffocated with it. All of it too much to internalize and more than I could ever process. So rather than even try, I took off.

I hardened myself against feeling anything. No friends, meaningless sex with someone I couldn’t stand, I even chose the most emotionless job available. Then I got fired and who did I turn to when I needed help? The people I abandoned without ever looking back. They should hate me. At the very least ignore me.

But they didn’t.

They embraced me.

Taking a deep breath, a sense of calmness comes over me. I stare at Sam as her chest rises and falls with the ventilator. “Come back to us. Don’t let this be the end.” My nose burns and my eyes fill with tears. “I know it’s selfish, but I want the time to make up for ditching our friendship.” I lean my elbows on the bed. “I’m sorry about what happened at the bar the other night with Lucas. If I hadn’t messed things up between us a long time ago, you would’ve known I had feelings for him.” I blink back tears as I imagine him locked in a cell. “I love him, Sam. And he loves me too.” I drop my forehead and sniff back tears as they rush to the surface. “He’s never had anyone to save him, and I won’t be another person on the list of people who’ve let him down. I won’t abandon anyone I love ever again.”

Silent minutes pass and fall into the next and for the first time since before my momma died, I pray. I send up heartfelt requests and plead with God that Sam will survive this. That Lucas will finally catch the break he so desperately deserves and get a chance at living a life free from fear and filled with peace.

Lost in my prayers, I startle at the sound of my name being whispered.

Blinking open my eyes, I see Mrs. Crawford pulling off her purse and setting it on the floor before she comes to me.

“You’re here early.” Her gaze moves from me to Sam and she frowns.

I follow her eyes and my heart cramps at what she must feel seeing her daughter like this. “Yeah, I had to see her.”

She moves to the other side of the bed and sits on the edge. “Suppose you heard they arrested that quiet boy for questioning.”

I nod. “He didn’t do it. I can’t prove it, but I just . . . something doesn’t feel right.”

She hums. “Everything about this is far from feeling right.” Her hands hold Sam’s free one and she leans over and kisses her daughter’s bruised forehead.

“Yeah. I better go.” I want to stop by and sit with Lucas as long as I can. I flash what I hope is an encouraging smile at Sam’s mom. “Call me if she wakes up?”

“Of course.”

I press a gentle kiss to Sam’s head and send one last silent message. Wake up. Help me save him.





LUCAS


Time passes slowly when sleep refuses to come. I’ve been staring at the ceiling of this small cell because every time I close my eyes, all I can see is Shyann. Her face tormented as I was taken into custody. The sound of her hollered protest rings in my ears even still, and knowing she’s out there hurting is killing me worse than the possibility of me serving jail time for a crime I didn’t commit.

“Menzano.”

I cringe at the sound of my last name but sit up and swing my feet to the floor. My back cramps from lying on the thinly padded steel platform.

“You’ve got a visitor.” A deputy I’ve never met swings open the door.

A flash of black hair has my heart pounding and I rush to the bars just as Shyann’s eyes find mine. She thanks the deputy and comes to stand just behind a bright yellow line painted on the concrete. Her eyes move over my face, neck, chest, and to my feet.

“They said I can’t get close enough to touch you.” The pain of her voice makes everything behind my ribs ache.

“It’s okay. Seeing you is enough.”

She tilts her head, squinting. “Are you all right?”

Heat creeps up my neck at how I must look behind bars in my sweatpants and a borrowed T-shirt after a night without sleep. “I’m good. Yeah.”

A rush of air comes from her lips and her shoulders drop a little. “This is all a mistake, Lucas. It has to be.”

“I know. I mean, I know I didn’t hurt Sam, and Gage . . .” Is it presumptuous to say he’d never hurt her either?

“She wasn’t a threat to you, Lucas. He didn’t do it, but . . .” She studies the room, clearly spotting the few cameras strategically placed and pointing our way. “They know about you now.”

I nod.

“They’re going to think the worst of what they don’t understand.”

“Shy, don’t worry about me. They’ll investigate and the truth will come to light. Everything will be okay.” I’m not sold that it will, but I lie to make her feel better.

Her eyes water and redden around the edges. Dark flickers in my peripheral vision. I shove it back, but it nudges again, this time accompanied by a feeling that constricts my throat. Huh, that’s new. I blink and try to relax, but a twitch of my lips gives me away.