Spiralling Skywards: Falling (Contradictions #1)(42)

He let go of the cases he had been hanging on to and wrapped his arms around me.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being upfront and honest with you, I just didn’t wanna upset you anymore that day.”

We didn’t argue often. We were both pretty easy-going people. Yeah, I was miserable in the mornings, but Liam had worked out that it was best to ignore me till I had fully woken up. We bickered about petty things like wet towels on the bed, the milk being left out, toast crumbs in the butter, all that kind of shit, but we’d never had a screaming match, but I felt like I couldn’t let this go.

I let him off easily when Luke dropped the original bombshell about the trip, but this time I needed him to know exactly how I felt. Trouble was, I was so upset that I knew I would just end up crying if I said anything.

“Not good enough, Liam. Not good enough,” I managed to say before I twisted out of his arms and walked away.

“Don’t f*cking walk away from me.” His voice was low and controlled.

“Don’t f*cking lie to me then. One thing. It’s the one thing I’ve ever asked of you.” I turned around and spat back at him.

He let out a long breath and rested each of his hands on the handles of the cases. Dropping his gaze to the floor, he shook his head before looking up at me and saying, “I’m sorry.”

“You always are.”

We barely spoke for the rest of the week. The small gathering we had to let everyone know that we were expecting two boys did nothing but give me a headache. It was good to see everyone, but I was equally as happy when they left.

After originally having no impact, my hormones were now playing havoc with my emotions, and I’d had a good long cry in the shower nearly every day. Liam hadn’t once initiated sex the entire week, which made me entertain all sorts of paranoid thoughts about him no longer fancying me, which just made me cry more. I was just over seven months pregnant with twins and gaining more and more weight each day. I felt fat, bloated, and gross—no wonder my husband didn’t want me.

I figured Maggie and Lori knew something was up. They’d spent the week shopping and had been out of the house most of the time so they could make sure everything was taken care of before Liam left, which was in the morning.

“Bub, I don’t wanna leave tomorrow with things like this between us.”

“Don’t go then,” I told him without turning around to face him as we lie in bed.

“I have to go. The Chinese are very traditional, they invited both partners. If one of us doesn’t show, they could take offence and it could jeopardise our chances of winning the contract.”

I finally turned and faced him.

“I know all of this. I’m aware of how important it could be to you, but you’re missing the point. Yeah, I hate that you’re going, but I understand why. That’s not why I’m angry with you.”

I felt my bottom lip tremble as I looked directly into his face for the first time all week. He was leaving tomorrow for three whole weeks, and I regretted being so petty and dragging out our argument.

“You hurt me,” I managed to whisper. “I feel like I’m always the last to know what your plans are. It makes me feel like I’m second best to everything else in your life.”

He reached his hand around my hip and pulled towards him.

“Never, Sarah, never. You are my life. You, Carter, and the twins are my number one priority. I work the hours I do to provide this life for us. I work hard so we can have a nice home, drive nice cars, and take nice holidays.”

“But we never see you. I’d rather sell the house and the cars and stay in a caravan in Bognor if it meant you didn’t have to travel and work such long hours. Anyway, it’s not about that. I’m hurt because you lied.”

“I didn’t lie.”

“You made a promise you knew you couldn’t keep.”

“I didn’t wanna upset you.”

“Well, you did, you have. A lot more than you would have if you’d just told me the truth in the first place.”

“I was going to, then your blood pressure went up and I just thought it would be better not to say anything.”

He slid his fingers into the hair at the back of my head and gently forced my face down onto his shoulder.

“I know you’re sick of hearing it, but I’m sorry. I don’t know what else I can say. I promise to do better in future. I love you, and I hate that you’re pissed off with me.”

“Don’t piss me off then.”

“I’ll make it my life’s mission.”

We were quiet for a few long moments as he ran the tips of his fingers up and down my spine.

“Will multiple orgasms help you forgive me?”

“No, f*ck off and shag a Geisha.”

I felt him laugh beneath me, and I couldn’t help but smile with relief at the fact he was saying that he wanted me.

“Geisha’s are in Japan, bub. I’m going to China and Hong Kong.”

“Well, go shag whatever the Chinese equivalent is.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do.”

“I don’t want anyone else; I just want you. I’ll do that thing you like with my tongue and my fingers.”

I pulled myself up to a sitting position and straddled his lap.