Spiralling Skywards: Fading (Contradictions, #2)(9)

I was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness at my brother’s behaviour. Lack of sleep, lack of a honeymoon, and lack of a husband were all starting to hit me hard.

“I don’t know the answer either, but I decided that night that when Shain asked me to dance I wasn’t going to wait for Luke to decide what he wanted. I had a hot Aussie standing in front of me, and I made up my mind to go for it.”

“And that was what led to you having sex with him?”

“Basically, yeah.” I moved around the bed and sat cross-legged in front of her. “We danced. We chatted, and I finally gave him a chance and actually listened to what he had to say. I shut out the voice that had been telling me for years that Luke would finally open his eyes and notice me and allowed myself to hear Shain.”

“And that’s what led to sex?”

“For fuck’s sake, Sarah, yes. All of it. Everything combined, including the vast amount of alcohol we’d consumed that night, it led to sex.”

“Don’t shout. I just wanna live vicariously through you. This is the bride who had to take off her own wedding dress right here. The bride that didn’t get to have sex on her wedding night.” I stabbed my index finger into my own chest. “This is the bride who didn’t get to sleep with her husband on their first night as man and wife and doesn’t even know when she’s likely to see her husband again. So, yes, I very much do want to hear all about the sex you and Shain have been having.”

“Wellllll . . .” She dragged the word out. “You might wanna hear about the first and second time, but I don’t think you’re gonna wanna hear about the third.”

“Why?”

Her eyes roamed around the room and then over my bed before landing in my lap and creeping their way up my chest to meet mine.

“Seriously? You have got to be fucking kidding me. You had sex on my bed? On my wedding day? When I got nothing, nada, nix? Not even a boob squeeze or a finger in my knickers. Nothing. I got nothing!”

I watched Sasha’s lips twitch as she tried not to laugh and then threw myself back on the bed in frustration.

“Stop being a little bitch. You’ve been getting plenty for months.”

“It’s not the same.”

“Why isn’t it?”

I pushed myself up onto my elbows and looked at her. “Plenty for months but nothing on my wedding day/night/morning after, is why it isn’t.”

She chewed on the inside of her lip.

“Yeah, it is all a bit shit the way the day ended, brilliant wedding, though.”

That comment made me smile. The service, the speeches, Liam’s song to me, our performance, and the fact that by nine o’clock, just about every guest was on the dance floor were perfect. Everybody from our friends to my grandparent’s friends had joined us and seemed to have a great time.

“It was a brilliant wedding, wasn’t it?” I was smiling, but a traitorous tear rolled down my cheek.

***

Later that day, after saying goodbyes and thank yous to my grandparents, I drove back to our house in Liam’s Jag with Sasha and Maggie as passengers. The rest of Liam’s family drove back in their hired car, and after dropping Sash off at home, we all meet up at my house.

Liam’s family were due to stay at our place while we were on honeymoon and use it as a base while they visited London and a few other tourist attractions around the country. So, I decided that, to occupy my time while Liam was away, I would make myself their tour guide. If I couldn’t be with my husband, I might as well spend time getting to know his family.

“How you holding up, kiddo? None of this can be easy for you.”

Liam’s mum asked me as I stood at the sink and filled up the kettle.

“Fuck the tea, Sarah, we need wine. This is your honeymoon, and since I can’t offer you sex, I can at least ply you with alcohol,” Maggie stated.

I turned around and faced Lori, Maggie, and Marie, who were all standing in the kitchen with me. They all look so much alike, and I could see a little bit of Liam in each of them. All of a sudden, it was all just a bit much, and I felt my lips begin to tremble and fought not to cry.

“No tears.” Marie held up her finger and pointed at me. “We promised Lee we’d look after you, which means wine, but no tears.”

Lori came over and took the kettle from my hand and put it back down on its base. Maggie retrieved a bottle of white from the fridge, and Marie pulled glasses from the cupboard next to it.

“I love what you’ve done with this kitchen,” Marie stated. “Liam sent us the link to the real-estate site, so we’ve seen all the pictures of how it looked before.”

“You’ve done a fantastic job,” Lori added. “Liam’s been sending me photos and updates as you’ve finished each room. You’ve got a great eye for design, Sarah, the whole house looks great.”

Our house was now fully refurbished and finally starting to look like a home. We’d had the landscaping finished over the previous few weeks, and we now had a useable alfresco area, a large raised deck, and a lawn with flowerbeds that were no longer obscured by building materials.

Liam had spent a fortune getting everything finished so it would look good for when his family arrived.

Something I’d learned about him as his parents’ visit approached, was that he desperately sought approval from his dad.