Spellslinger (Spellslinger #1)(30)

After a while I found it impossible to keep my own eyes open during the endless droning and repetition. Each time I opened them, I instinctively looked over at Tennat across the way, expecting to see him charging at me, his hands blazing with magic. But he never moved. Sometimes he would glance back at me, but he never said anything. That suited me just fine.

What had happened to dampen his magic? And what about the others? I knew I hadn’t caused their sickness. There was one explanation that didn’t require anything nefarious: fear. Magic requires perfect concentration and indomitable will. Emotional trauma made those almost impossible, and Tennat had done quite a bit of sobbing last night.

‘You look pleased with yourself,’ Panahsi said, rousing me from a brief doze.

‘I didn’t see you coming.’ I shuffled over on the bench to make room for him but he didn’t sit down. He had his arms crossed in front of him and I noticed right away that something had changed with him. ‘You sparked your ember band … That’s great,’ I said, struggling to inject sincerity into my voice.

He nodded with grim satisfaction. ‘Did it this morning.’

‘How did you do it? Maybe you could help me later. I have some ideas about how I might be able to—’

Panahsi cut me off with a sneer, which was an unusual expression for him and looked just comical enough that for a second I thought he might be joking, until he said, ‘You know what, Kellen? I’ve figured out why you don’t have any magic.’

‘Really? Why?’

‘Because you don’t deserve any.’

He took a step closer to me, his wide frame blocking out the sun. ‘Magic is the gift of the Jan’Tep. Not the Daroman. Not the Berabesq. Not whatever you are.’

I stood up, rather too quickly, and all my various cuts and bruises from the night before came screaming back at me, making me dizzy. ‘I’m just as much a Jan’Tep as you are,’ I said, and tried to push him away. It was stupid for a number of reasons, not the least of which was that Panahsi had been, up until that day, my best friend. He was also very heavy. My shove didn’t move him an inch. His sent me reeling back over the bench.

‘You sided with that Daroman woman over your own people, Kellen.’

I looked up from the ground, past Panahsi, to where the other initiates were doing a poor job of pretending to be oblivious to what was happening while sneaking quick glances towards us. Tennat, sitting on the bench on the other side of the oasis, wasn’t pretending at all. It was the first time I’d seem him smile all day.

I got to my feet. With the bench between Panahsi and myself I decided to try a different tactic. ‘They were going to hurt that woman, Panahsi. Is that what magic is for? To lord it over and torment people who don’t have any?’ Oh gods, please let that not be the case or I’m completely screwed for life.

‘Ra’fan says she’s a spy.’

‘Ra’fan is an idiot. So’s his father and so’s Tennat, who nearly crippled you last week in case you’ve forgotten.’

‘Tennat beat me because he’s strong, just like the rest of his family. He’s going to be a mage who fights for our people. Just like I need to be.’

That made me snort. ‘Panahsi, you’ve got more potential than Tennat’s whole family. You’re going to be three times stronger than—’

‘Not if I keep hanging around with you I won’t,’ he said, his palms open by his sides.

My people learn not to clench our fists when we get angry. It makes it harder to form the somatic shapes needed for attack spells.

‘Are you going to beat me up, Panahsi?’ I asked.

He hesitated. ‘I could, you know. Even without magic. I’m stronger than you, Kellen.’

‘I never said you weren’t.’

For a moment he just stood there as if he was about to say something else, or was waiting for me to say something, but neither of us did and so he just turned and walked away from me, back to the other initiates. I couldn’t hear what he said to them, but I doubted he was singing my praises, because a few of them laughed and clapped him on the shoulder.

It should have been obvious to me what was going on, but I’m a little thick sometimes. It was Tennat who illuminated things for me when he came over shortly after Panahsi left.

‘I told them you’d come today,’ Tennat said, coughing through the words.

‘You don’t look so good, Tennat. Maybe you ought to—’

He ignored me. ‘So arrogant. So full of yourself. We’ve all known for years that you’re going to end up with the Sha’Tep, cleaning the floors of proper mages or, better yet, working in the mines where you belong. Kellen the magic-less trickster thinks he can lie his way through life, and worse, you act as if you’re better than everyone else.’

‘Not everyone else.’

‘So clever, aren’t you, Kellen?’ He gave a fake little laugh followed by a more genuine-sounding cough.

‘You should probably get some rest, Tennat. Sounds like you’ve got a nasty cold.’

‘I’ll get better,’ he said, mastering himself. ‘I’ll get well again because my blood is strong. Whatever sickness you’re carrying inside you that’s infecting our people, it won’t get a hold on me.’

There was a thought I hadn’t considered. What if I carried some kind of illness? I’d spent most of my life with one cold after another. But then, why would it affect the others faster than it had me?