Spellslinger (Spellslinger #1)(103)

I decided I could live with that. ‘Is she all right?’

‘She is disoriented, but recovers quickly. She wanted to come but we felt—’

‘It’s better she not be here,’ I said, not wanting to know any more about my parents’ feelings than was necessary.

My mother looked down at Ra’meth. ‘You let him live.’

‘I did,’ I said.

She held my gaze a long time before turning to the court guards. ‘Take Ra’meth prisoner. Bind him with copper and silver. He will be made to answer for his crimes.’

I suppose I’d never really thought about just how powerful a mage my mother was. For all her strength, she’d always deferred to my father. I wondered now, seeing how the others reacted to her, why she let him stand as the head of our family. I guess I really don’t understand my own people all that well.

There was a certain amount of confused shuffling about as the guards did as my mother commanded. She had no formal authority over them, but I doubt they wanted to risk angering a woman whose magic was practically making the air ripple around her.

‘The council will want the boy taken into custody,’ the leader of the guards told her, motioning to me.

I caught just enough of a flash of uncertainty in my mother’s expression that I decided to answer before she could. ‘Tell the lords magi that I’ll be with them momentarily,’ I said. ‘I feel like sitting down for a minute.’

My mother nodded. ‘I will inform the council that you will see them when you’re ready.’ She squeezed my shoulder. ‘I know you’ll do what’s right.’

Her last sentence echoed in my head like one of the fundamental spells we used to practise as children, uttering each syllable a dozen different ways, trying to find its perfect articulation, then how it related to the next syllable, until we could comprehend the full meaning. I know you’ll do what’s right.

I walked over to the steps and sat down heavily, reaching into Ferius’s pack that was still slung on my back and pulling out a small flask. I opened it and drank without checking the contents – possibly a mistake since it burned my tongue at first. A moment later the warmth snaked down my throat and into my belly. After that I started feeling a bit light-headed. I’d just had my first taste of liquor.

Maybe I should get drunk before I go see the council.

A few minutes of drinking brought me to a strange clarity. Why was I still sitting there, on the steps of the court? I should have been finding another horse and getting myself out of town as quickly as possible.

It wasn’t that I was afraid of being taken captive by the council at this point. I knew too much, and though sometimes that can be a dangerous thing, there were many other people who also knew something had happened. They knew there had been a conspiracy to take over the clan. Powerful people would want answers, and if I was suddenly imprisoned, that would just raise more questions.

So it wasn’t fear of retribution that kept me sitting on those steps; I was just afraid of leaving everything I’d ever known behind.

‘Kellen?’

I looked up to see Nephenia standing barely two feet in front of me. Her long dark hair was draped over shoulders left uncovered by her long white celebration gown – a garment identical to those of several other students waiting their turn in front of the council in anticipation of completing their trials. Her arms were crossed in front of her, each hand clinging on to the opposite elbow for dear life. She looked beautiful and miserable in equal measure.

‘What’s wrong?’ I asked.

She opened her mouth to speak, then took in a breath and sniffed. Her lips started to tremble. ‘I … I’m sorry, it’s stupid. It’s nothing.’ She reached up a shaking hand to wipe at a tear that hadn’t yet formed. ‘I’m going to be Sha’Tep.’

‘What? Why? You’ve had your trial? But you passed the tests. How could—’

She looked up towards the entrance to the court. ‘I’m due to go in next, but Master Osia’phest already came out and told me … I think he didn’t want me to be surprised. I have no secret to bring to the council, none that matters to them anyway.’

I almost laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of the situation. Most of the initiates here, standing proud in their celebration garb, had no secret that mattered to anyone. It was, as much as anything, a formality. So why did they go to the trouble of deciding in advance that Nephenia would fail? The answer was simple of course. She had made enemies by not siding with Tennat and Panahsi and the others. Their parents must have slipped word to the council members that they wanted Nephenia shunned, and her own family had little influence or power.

We are such a small people, I thought. For all our magic, we’re scared, paranoid little children trying to protect ourselves from the bullies of the world by becoming bigger bullies ourselves.

I found myself just staring at her. I don’t think I’d ever seen a person that perfectly and utterly despondent in my entire life. You can’t sit in the face of that kind of pain and do nothing, so I decided to try a spell.

I stood, very slowly, and carefully extended both my hands, palms up. I waited for a long time as she looked at me, nervousness gradually changing to curiosity as she became more confident this wasn’t some kind of trick. Finally I felt the warmth of her palms on mine. ‘I have a secret for you,’ I said.