So I Married a Sorcerer (The Embraced #2)(61)

“Amazing.”

She snorted. “Not really. I only knew it was your bed because I’ve seen your room before. Otherwise, it could be any bed in the world.”

He frowned. “How many beds do you think I’ve been to?”

“I didn’t mean…” Her face flushed. “Let me put it this way. You accidentally drop a coin overboard. I might see a vision of it at the bottom of the sea, but that wouldn’t help you find it. Not when it could be anywhere in the ocean. So you see, it’s not always a very useful gift.”

“But why did you see me in a cave? I didn’t lose anything there.”

She winced. “I don’t just see lost things. I see things that have been hidden. Usually, my reaction is very mild, but with you … well, I’ve never met anyone who is hiding as much as you.”

He stiffened. “You see hidden … memories?”

She nodded. “One time when I was about twelve, I was running to the dining hall for dinner, and I tripped and fell over. Sister Marian helped me up, and I saw her crying and holding a baby who had just passed away. Without thinking, I blurted out how sorry I was that she’d lost her baby. She went deathly pale, then burst into tears and ran back to her room. The next day, she acted normal again, but from then on, whenever she saw me, this pained look would cross her face, and I knew I was causing her to remember her grief, over and over again.”

“That’s a sad story,” Rupert murmured.

Brigitta nodded. “Sister Marian had never told anyone at the convent her secret, because she’d wanted to escape the painful memory and make a new life for herself, but I messed it up for her. That’s when I realized that people don’t always keep secrets because they’re being dishonest or deceitful. Sometimes we push memories into a dark hole because they’re too painful to live with day after day. Sometimes we have to keep secrets just to survive.”

A chill ran down Rupert’s back. Had she been seeing his secrets?

Brigitta sighed. “After that, I had my own secret. I didn’t tell anyone I could see their hidden memories. After all, it doesn’t help anyone. It only makes them uncomfortable. If people are desperate enough to keep a secret, then they don’t want it to be exposed.”

He gripped the railing hard. “So every time we touched, you saw something?”

She nodded. “But I would never tell any—”

“What did you see?”

She winced. “An ambush. A battle. A dark basement. The crypt where your mother is interred. A—”

“Enough.” He stepped back. She knew way too much.

“I could feel your emotions, too.” She turned toward him with tears in her eyes. “So much grief and despair. My heart ached—”

“Enough!” He retreated another step, his hands clenched into fists. “I’m not that child anymore.”

“I think you are.”

“No!” He gritted his teeth. “You should go now.”

Her shoulders slumped. “I shouldn’t have told you. I’m sorry.” She wandered toward the stairs.

When she glanced back, a tear was rolling down her check, and he felt like a complete ass.

“Your secrets are safe with me,” she whispered, then hurried down the stairs.

Crap! He wanted to pummel something. He wanted to beat something till his knuckles were bloody and raw. She knew too much. And if they kept touching each other, she would know even more. Dammit. No matter how much he longed for her, he couldn’t touch her again.





Chapter Fifteen

He was avoiding her.

Brigitta paced about the cabin. She should have known this would happen. After she’d blurted out Sister Marian’s secret, the nun had been careful to avoid her.

Why had she thought Rupert would be different? Even though he was attracted to her, that didn’t mean he wanted to share his secrets. She’d learned from her visions that he’d spent years of his life hiding in dark places, afraid of being captured. He’d been forced to keep his identity secret in order to survive. So it only made sense that he wouldn’t want her to discover who he really was.

Unfortunately, her curiosity refused to quit. She was even more compelled to figure him out. Who was this sorcerer who monopolized her thoughts and made her heart squeeze with longing? How could she gain his trust? How could she convince him that his secrets were safe with her?

A whole day had passed, and she’d seen him only once. After the midday meal, she and Sister Fallyn had ventured out on deck for some fresh air. While the nun had chatted with Stefan, Brigitta had approached the crow’s nest where Rupert was standing.

“Good afternoon,” she’d said softly, knowing he would be able to hear her if he wanted to.

No reply.

“I could meet you tonight under the stars,” she’d suggested. Silence had stretched out while she’d grown increasingly tense.

His whisper had finally filtered down. “Not tonight.” Then he’d grabbed a rope and swung through the air to the next mast, where he’d dropped a few feet to land neatly on a yardarm. After grasping another rope, he’d swooped down toward the bow of the ship, disappearing from her view.

Normally, such athletic feats would have made her breathless, but she’d been too mortified to appreciate it.