So I Married a Sorcerer (The Embraced #2)(39)

By the Light, he hated the memory of living in constant fear of being caught and murdered. He hated the smothering cloud of grief and anxiety that had caused him to wake in the middle of the night unable to breathe. And most of all, he hated the utter sense of helplessness.

Yes, he knew the value of control. It wiped away the bad memories and gave him hope. He craved control. Without it, he would never achieve his goal of revenge.

But dammit, he hadn’t realized Brigitta would feel just as strongly about controlling her own future. And he was stealing that control from her.

Why should he care? She was the enemy. Don’t pretend to care. Her words sliced like a knife.

Dammit to hell. He wasn’t pretending. The way she kept collapsing had him worried. He picked up his hat and climbed the stairs to the quarterdeck. Tomorrow he would find out why she reacted like that whenever they came in contact. Did it mean he could never touch her? Or kiss her?

Holy shit, where had that thought come from? With a groan, he stretched out on his pallet.

He gazed up at the moons and stars, but they didn’t give him the comfort they usually did. And it would be damned hard to sleep with this bulge in his breeches.

Only a fool would lust after the enemy. Then you’re a bloody fool. He could deny wanting her till the stars fell from the sky, but his hard cock indicated otherwise.

He’d been too long without a woman, that was all. She wasn’t any different from any other woman. Liar.

He ripped the mask off his face. Go ahead, you idiot. Lust after her till your balls turn blue. But don’t ever trust her.

*

Brigitta woke the next day when Jeffrey brought in their midday meal. She’d slept late since she hadn’t been able to use the narrow bed till Sister Fallyn had finally woken at dawn. Brigitta hadn’t minded, though, for she’d been far too agitated to relax.

Her mind had replayed her conversation with Rupert over and over. And she’d carefully examined her visions. Somehow, Rupert had survived an ambush and a battle. Had someone wanted him dead? Or perhaps they’d wanted his family members dead, and that was why she felt such overwhelming grief connected to his memories. Could the visions explain why he was hiding his identity and living as a pirate?

She still wasn’t sure what to think of him. He made her nervous and excited, confused and angry, and even sympathetic when she recalled the horror and grief he’d endured. And she still wanted to know more about him. Nay, she was driven to know more. The man aroused her curiosity more than anyone she’d ever met.

“Good morning, lad.” Sister Fallyn greeted Jeffrey and helped him set the tray on the table.

Brigitta sat up, drawing the blanket up to her chin.

Jeffrey grinned at her. “You slept late. We’re on our way to Danport.”

“To get supplies?” Sister Fallyn picked up the small loaf off the tray and frowned at it. “I hope ye’ll get some fresh bread.”

“Aye.” Jeffrey nodded. “The captain will make sure of it.”

Brigitta slipped on her cloak and approached the table. “Didn’t ye say Danport was yer hometown? Are ye going to visit yer relatives?”

Jeffrey made a face. “Only my uncle lives there, and I sure don’t want to see him.”

Brigitta poured herself a cup of water. “Why not?”

“’Cause he’s a mean old drunk,” Jeffrey muttered.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Brigitta motioned to one of the chairs. “Would you like to join us?”

He glanced back at the door, then took a seat. “I guess I could stay here a little while.”

“Of course.” Brigitta sat next to him and passed him a slice of cheese.

Sister Fallyn handed him a piece of buttered bread. “Ye poor lad. Have ye lost yer parents?”

Jeffrey nodded as he ate. “About five years ago.”

“Ye must have been so young,” Brigitta murmured.

He paused with his mouth full and gave them a sheepish look. “I don’t really remember them very well. Is that bad?”

“Nay.” Sister Fallyn poured him a cup of water. “’Tis to be expected, lad.”

“So how did ye end up on a pirate ship?” Brigitta asked.

Jeffrey drank some water. “Rupert and the captain saved me.”

Brigitta’s curiosity flared. “How?”

“Well, after my parents died, my uncle took me in, but he made me clean chimneys all day, then he spent the money I earned on whiskey. And if I complained, he hit me.”

Brigitta winced. “That’s awful.”

“Ye poor child.” Sister Fallyn regarded him sadly. “Did ye run away?”

“No.” Jeffrey shook his head. “I didn’t have anywhere to go. But one day, after I’d earned a few coins, I went to the market to buy myself some food. And that’s when I saw Rupert and Captain Landers. They were buying supplies. But then my uncle saw me eating an apple, and he started beating on me. And guess what? The captain yelled at him to stop, and when he didn’t, Rupert pushed him away!”

“With the wind?” Brigitta asked.

“No, with his hands. Then my uncle said he was my guardian and could treat me however he wanted. And Rupert offered him five gold coins for me!”

Brigitta sat back. “He bought you?”