Snow and Mistletoe(13)
Chapter 9
Noelle
“That was…” I trail off, searching for the words for what that was. My body feels like Jell-O, and I have no desire to leave this spot for the rest of my life. His cock is still nestled deep inside me, as hard as he was when he first entered.
“Perfection,” Alex finishes for me, drawing my eyes up to his. I see a fire dancing in the deep blue depths. ‘Perfection’ works, but it was more than that. All of this feels…life-changing. He holds my stare this time, not looking away as he gives me a clear view of his face. The fire lends a glow to the room, letting me see all of what he’s been trying to hide.
I don’t want to hide. I’m sick of this game. Just like when I got naked and went after him, I’m going to throw my cards on the table. All or nothing. I can’t go back to what we had before. Not even just working for him, but being forced to have daily calls with him and not being with him would rip me in two. There’s no going back. I’ll just fling myself over the cliff and I pray he’s going to catch me.
“I’ve wanted this for so long.” His eyes widen a little at my words like he’s shocked by them. How he doesn’t get it, I have no freaking idea. Any red-blooded woman would want him. He’s beautiful in a rough manly kind of way. His scars only add to his whole appeal. After all the romance novels I’ve read, I seem to have found my own sweet, brooding, scared hero. I want to keep him, and I want him to want to keep me, too.
He said things when we were making love. How much of that was heat of the moment babbling, and how much was real?
“I’ve wanted you since the first time heard your voice. Before you ever even knew I existed,” he admits. The words he said to me when we were making love ring through my mind. “Talk to me, Noelle. Tell me all the things you want me to do to you. I’m addicted to your voice.”
“You’re addicted to my voice?”
He huffs out a laugh. “Yeah.” He rolls us both so I’m pinned under him again. “Your voice is where it started. Now I think I’m addicted to every part of you. Your eyes, your lips, your innocence, your body and the way you can talk to me for hours on end and just let me listen. The way you get comfortable in silence and the way your breath does this little hitch every time you do a narration and the hero says ‘I love you.’ All of it. Every part of it. I could go on for days.”
“But you…” I search my brain, trying to put everything together. So much of this has seemed one-sided for so long. “I didn’t think you wanted me.”
“Does this feel like I don’t want you?” His cock slides out of me a little and thrusts back in.
“You’re a man. The wind makes you hard,” I tease, wiggling my hips, wanting him to do that again.
“I hadn’t gotten hard since the accident until I heard your voice. Now I can’t seem to get un-hard.” The smile on his face lets me know that this doesn’t seem to bother him in the least.
That shouldn’t make me happy, but it does. That I have some special power—that only I can get him off—pleases me.
“What happened?” I reach up and touch one of his scars, and he leans into my palm, craving the feel of me.
“Wrong place, wrong time. Got hit by a car.”
“Oh, God.” Horror fills my voice, but he brushes his thumb across my cheek, soothing me.
“I’m fine. It happened years ago,” he says, his voice devoid of emotion.
“Is that why you’re all the way out here in the middle of almost nowhere?” I know his company is pretty big and he has a few other people working for him. I have to deal with them from time to time.
“At first, yeah. It’s kind of grown on me now. Life’s not so busy. I like the quiet a lot more than I thought I would.”
I know the feeling. I’ve always been a homebody. I just stay in the town so I can have some human contact from time to time. I know if I lived out in a beautiful cabin like this, I’d probably never see another soul until my mom came and dragged me from it kicking and screaming.
“Don’t you get lonely?”
“I was at first. Then I found you.”
“Liar, you hardly talk to me.” I playfully smack his arm.
“I don’t talk much because I want to hear you. If I’m talking, you’re not.”
“But I like hearing you, too.”
“Then I’ll talk until I can’t utter another word if it makes you happy. As long as you stay here with me.”
“You want me to stay here with you? Like, for the holiday?” My heartbeat picks up as I wonder what he’ll say.
“Yeah for the holiday.” He pauses for a second, and I see what looks like uncertainty creep into his eyes. “And after.”
“After?” I push, wanting more. It’s hanging in front of me, so close I can almost grab it. I want his words and for him to ask me to stay.
“Forever,” he finally says, and I can tell he’s worried what I might say. My chest fills with warmth, but it feels too good to be true.
“Is it too soon?” I know it’s a stupid question. Hell, we just had unprotected sex. Our baby could be growing inside me as we speak, but I need him to give me more. He’s hiding so much of himself from me. I want to know we’re on the same page, that he’s just as crazy about me as I am about him.