Sins, Lies & Spies (Black Brothers #2)(8)

I focused on the black and white landscape photos hanging on the wall behind his desk. “I already ate.”

He stepped closer to me, the front of his pants brushing the side of my thigh. “Don’t make me eat alone. We haven’t spent any quality time together in a while. I miss you.” He lowered his voice, his lips only inches from my ear. “I miss us. We were good together. Don’t you think it’s time we worked this out? Every time we get close, you push me away again.”

My face flamed with humiliation as memories of what happened between us a week after we broke up taunted me. We’d been working late. In a moment of weakness, he kissed me and one thing led to another. The next day and every day afterward, I rationalized the whole thing as me being lonely and nostalgic for what I thought we had before the truth slapped me across the face. Marrying him and building a life together had been the next step in my life for almost a year, and I didn’t have a contingency plan. Part of me wanted to give in and try again even though I knew this back and forth between us had to stop. It was unhealthy.

“Miles.” I held up one hand as I took a few steps backward to put space between us. “I don’t want to keep going in circles. We’re over, and nothing you do will change my mind. If you can’t keep this professional, we need to cut ties.”

“You didn’t object a couple of weeks ago,” he said, his voice hard, cold; and I shivered. Two steps forward and he loomed over me. His jaw was set, and his dark eyes glittered.

I shook my head. “I made a mistake. I’m sorry if I gave you the impression I wanted to reconcile. That was never my intention because it couldn’t be further from the truth. I can’t do this again.”

His mouth opened, but just as quickly hinged closed, his eyes narrowing almost imperceptibly. “I’ve apologized for what happened countless times. Too many times. You need to start acting like an adult instead of a petulant child, punishing me for a few missteps.” He scraped his fingers down his neck. “You’ve given me more mixed signals than a drunken music conductor.”

“A few missteps?” I scoffed, my hands trembling and anger heating my skin. “You were sleeping with your ex-wife. She thought the two of you had reconciled. We were shopping for engagement rings. I thought we were getting married. You were stringing us both along.” I bit down on my lower lip, restraining the urge to spit dozens of sarcastic insults. I didn’t want to back him into a corner and force him to sever our working relationship. I had enough upheaval in my life right now. I needed stability so I could keep helping my sister. She deserved everything I could give her and more.

“I know. I know.” He raised his hands in surrender. “I shouldn’t have touched her. I realize that, but we have a complicated history. I know it’s not an excuse, but one thing led to another and I fell into an old habit. It’s all over now. She understands that, and it won’t happen again. I promise.”

“You’re right.” I paused for a beat, summoning the backbone to push him away. “It won’t because I’ve moved on.”

His eyebrows slanted downward. “Are you seeing someone?”

“Yes,” I lied. “I’m late. I need to go.”

“Wait.” He grabbed my wrist. “Who is he?”

“No one you know. We’ve only gone out once, but I like him.”

“It’ll never work. He won’t understand what you do, why you spend time with me, or why you have irregular hours.”

“Maybe. Maybe not, but it isn’t your business.” I pried his hands off my wrist and shrugged. “By the way, you don’t have the right to touch me anymore.”

“Don’t I?” he said, his hand stroking the side of my face. My breath stalled inside of my lungs for a moment, then gusted out in one giant whoosh.

“No.” Our eyes locked in a wordless struggle. “You had your chance. I’m doing what I should have done months ago. I’m moving on.”

“Listen, Tri.” He lowered his voice an octave, clasping his hands around the swells of my hips. “Give me one more chance. I sorted everything out with my ex. She won’t be an issue. I want to make this work. She’s my past. You’re my future. Let me know how I can make this up to you.”

I rubbed a hand down the side of my face as I stepped out of his hold. “I don’t know. I don’t think I can go there yet. I’m not ready.”

“Can you try? We don’t have to rush anything. Just keep an open mind.”

I swallowed hard. I shouldn’t trust him, but a tiny dysfunctional part of me wanted to pretend the last few months hadn’t happened and be happy again. For a small moment in time, I was on the cusp of getting engaged and living happily ever after. Since I was little, I’d dreamed of having the perfect someone in my life who’d never disappointment me or abandon me.

I pulled my lower lip between my teeth, studying him before I answered. “I’m not going to promise anything, but I’ll keep an open mind about our future.”

“That’s a start.” He pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth and a flicker of self-hatred shot through my veins. “You won’t regret this. I promise.”

Why can’t I believe him? Trust him? Damn him. Damn me.

Acid rolled in my stomach at the thought of letting Miles into my life again. I couldn’t stop the nagging feeling he’d hurt me again.