Sinner's Steel (Sinner's Tribe Motorcycle Club #3)(94)

She had only a few minutes of reflection before she sensed another presence near the grave. Her head jerked up and she saw Zane on the other side of the headstone, thumbs looped in the belt hooks of his worn, black jeans. The dark shadow of a beard covered his jaw and his hair looked like it hadn’t been combed in weeks. He had lost weight—his T-shirt hung loose under his cut, and although he still cut an imposing figure he looked … diminished, not just physically, but emotionally, too.

Her first instinct was to run, and maybe weeks ago that’s what she would have done. But she’d changed since Zane walked back into her life, and in the last few weeks she’d moved on. She had always known he would leave her again. This time she wasn’t prepared to take him back.

“You missed it,” she said.

Pain flickered across Zane’s face as stared at the tombstone. “I watched from the rise,” he pointed to a hill behind him. “I have to keep a low profile. The brothers knew I was there.”

Evie swallowed past the lump in her throat. It was all too much. T-Rex. The funeral. Zane’s sudden appearance, and now this. “But not me.”

“I can explain it all to you.” He took a step toward her. “You want to talk here or at your place?”

“I moved.” She lifted her chin, met his gaze. “And I’m not interested in anything you have to say. I knew you’d leave me again. I just didn’t expect it to be so soon.” Caught in a maelstrom of emotion, Evie turned and walked away.

“Evie.”

She heard his voice and kept walking, past small benches and tombstones, neatly clipped bushes and vases of flowers. Only when she reached her vehicle did she let go.

With a growl of frustration, she kicked the tire over and over until her foot went numb. When she raised her fist to pound on the hood, Zane grabbed her from behind, pinning her arms by her sides.

“Stop.”

“Let me go.” She twisted and struggled in his grasp as all her pain came out in a rush. “You left me again. No note. No call. Not even a goodbye. T-Rex is dead because of me. And Bill … I couldn’t save him either.”

Zane tightened his grip and pressed his mouth to her ear. “I’ve got you. Use me. Take it out on me.”

I’ve got you. Those three words tipped her over the edge. He’d had her since she was eight years old. He had her when no one else cared. He had her and he left her. Again and again.

She turned in his arms and pounded on his chest, huge guttural sobs ripping from her throat as she let out her sorrow for T-Rex, for Bill, for the past she and Zane had lost to fear, for the future they might never have. Zane didn’t move, didn’t blink; he simply absorbed her blows as if he wanted her pain.

When she was worn out, he held her in his arms and kissed her, a soft brush of his mouth over hers, lips drinking her tears. “I left for us,” he said. “I left so we could have the chance of a future together.”

“Where did you go?”

“Stanton. I turned myself in. I’m out on bail until the preliminary hearing.”

A groan ripped from her throat. “Oh, God, Zane. Why? Why would you do that?”

“I want to be free,” he said simply. “I’m not a good man, Evie. Not in civilian terms. I’ve broken laws, committed crimes. But I can sleep at night because I’ve never hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it. After I met you again, I realized I’ve been living my life under the shadow of a lie. I loved you, but I denied it. I pretended those false charges meant nothing to me, but they do because they mean I can’t give you and Ty what I want to give—a choice.”

She felt a prickle at the back of her neck. “What choice?”

“Whether we live or leave the life is up to you.”

Evie fisted his shirt, pulled him close. “And what if it all goes wrong? What if they put you in jail for the next twenty years? What then?”

“I’ve loved you for almost twenty years, Evie; I’ll love you for twenty more. And I would wait a lifetime to hold you again.”

His utter and absolute faith, his conviction, his heartfelt words turned the tide and washed away the last of her reservations. “I need you,” she whispered. “I want to feel. I want to live so T-Rex didn’t die for nothing.”

“Over there.” He pointed to the caretaker’s potting shed just over the rise. They made their way through the soft grass to the door and Zane used his knife to snap the lock.

Rich and fragrant, the mingled scents of flowers and potting soil surrounded them when they stepped inside. Rows of freshly potted flowers lined the wall, and the small table under the sole window in the shed heaved under an array of potting equipment, bags of soil, fertilizer, watering cans and gloves. A large wooden table took up the center space and worn shelves lined the dark, wood walls.

Frantic to touch him, she shoved up his shirt as soon as he turned from bolting the door. She ran her hands over the hard planes of his chest, then she trailed kisses over his newly grown beard. “I’m not sure if I like all these prickles.”

Zane grabbed her ass and ground his erection against her belly. “You’ll love it when I’m between your thighs, licking your sweet *.”

“Arrogant.”

“You love that, too.”

He took control, spinning her around and then pushing her over the workbench in the center of the shed. “It’s not the hood of a 300C, but since I haven’t been able to get that image out of my mind, this will have to do.”