Sinner's Steel (Sinner's Tribe Motorcycle Club #3)(37)

Evie’s skin prickled with awareness. He wasn’t telling her everything. Even after all these years, she knew he was holding back, whether it was the way he stumbled over his words or how he stared out into the darkness, or from the set of his jaw. There was more to the story than he was letting on.

“The police thought my dad went to arrest your dad for drug dealing,” Evie said. “They figured there was a fight, my dad shot yours in self-defense, and then you picked up the gun and shot my dad in revenge for killing your dad. Your prints were on the gun. Your footprints were all over the scene. Witnesses had placed you there…” She pressed her lips together, fighting back a wave of anger. “They didn’t want to go to the expense of doing an autopsy or getting forensic reports. They just issued a warrant for your arrest.”

“Figured as much.” He squeezed her hand. “Small town. Saving money. Taking the easy way out.”

“Why didn’t you come to me?” She leaned her head against his shoulder, closed her eyes against the images of her father dying alone, tried to come to terms with what really happened that night. “I was waiting for you. I waited all night.”

“I was worried you wouldn’t believe me either.” He said the words so quietly, she almost didn’t hear them.

She supposed she could understand his concern. Her father had ripped Zane off her, thrown him to the ground, shouted harsh, cruel, horrible things. Then he stood over him and ordered her to go home. He said he and Zane were going to have a talk, but she would never be allowed to see him again. At first she refused to leave, but Zane begged her to go. Promised he’d see her later. Seventeen years old, innocent, trusting, unsure of herself in the world, she’d made the biggest mistake of her life and did as he asked.

“I would have believed you.”

With a sigh, Zane released her hand. He walked down the steps and into the small copse of trees bordering her property, as much lost in his thoughts as he was in shadows.

“Zane?” Puzzled, she followed him, stopping only a few feet away when she spotted him leaning against a tree trunk, worrying the corner of the label on his beer bottle, the gesture so achingly familiar it twisted her stomach in a knot.

“At first, I meant to come back for you,” he said, his gaze focused on the trailer park across the field. “I was going to come at night in disguise. But as I got farther away from Stanton, I began thinking it might be best if I stayed away. I mean, you were going away to college. You were going to meet guys who were smart and had things in common with you. And who was I? No skills. No future. A warrant on my head. Like your dad told me, I had nothing to offer you.”

“I loved you.” She choked back a sob as the words she’d held back for nine years spilled out. “I never thought for a moment you were responsible. I had faith in you, but you didn’t have the same faith in me. You broke my heart.”

Zane rubbed his forearm across his face, then pitched his bottle over the fence and into the field. “I f*cked up. Big time. I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting it. Hell, I regretted leaving the moment I drove away and I’ve regretted it every day since.”

Part of her wanted to go to him, wrap her arms around him and tell it him it was okay. It had felt so right when he kissed her. Like coming home. Maybe they could pick up where they left off. Erase the past. But the other part of her knew she couldn’t erase the pain of losing him, of losing hope and faith and love. She couldn’t erase the soul-destroying marriage to Mark or the years of hardship of raising Ty alone. They had changed. She wasn’t Evie anymore. She was Evangeline. And Zane wasn’t Zane. He was a Sinner, an outlaw, and he lived in a different world.

“I’d better go,” she said. “I have to be at work early, and I have a babysitter coming over to look after Ty.”

“Maybe I should come over…”

Evie shook her head. “Let’s take it slow with you and Ty. One thing you two have in common is that neither of you is good with change.”

“What about you and me?”

Her mouth went dry, and her stomach churned. “There isn’t a you and me outside of Ty. I have my life, Zane and you have yours. We don’t have anything in common anymore.”

“And you and Viper do?” His voice dropped to a growl, so fierce and low the tree frogs stopped croaking, silencing the night. “How’d you wind up with that piece of shit?”

“He came to the shop for some detailing. I didn’t know much about the Jacks so I thought he was just another biker. He was charming, intelligent … probably the most interesting guy I’d met since coming to Conundrum. When he came back a third time for a touch-up on his fender, he asked me out. Bill told me who he was and said I should be careful.”

“Probably made you want him more,” he said quietly.

“Maybe it did. Maybe I wanted to prove to myself I could handle a man like him—the way I couldn’t handle Mark—and that I didn’t need anyone to save me. I made a decision to take control of my life when things went wrong with Mark. I realized I’d spent too much time chasing a dream of finding someone to look after me when really I needed to look after myself. But that’s not all it was. I liked him, and I was flattered by his attention. I enjoy his company. I’m not ashamed of that.” She turned back to the house and Zane grabbed her arm, spinning her back to face him.