Since She Went Away(73)

Ursula led him to an area outside the cafeteria where students were allowed to mill around and talk before the next period started. In the old days, even before Jared’s mom went to school there, it was the smoking area where students could light up cigarettes and who knew what else.

It wasn’t miserably cold, and Jared was thankful for that, but it was cold enough that most of his fellow students stayed away. They opted to remain in the cafeteria, shooting the shit with their friends or preparing for all the tests and quizzes they hadn’t already studied for. About fifteen kids sat outside, mostly burnouts and freaks, the ones who wore black clothes and listened to the darkest, dreariest music imaginable. They never went to dances or football games, never joined any clubs. Jared knew he didn’t fit in everywhere, but he wasn’t as low on the social ladder as they were.

Ursula sat on a short wall, away from the other kids. A couple looked up, and one sneered when he saw them. Jared sat next to her, making sure not to get too close. They made an interesting pair—the girl whose mom disappeared and the guy whose mom everyone thought left her hanging on the night she was taken.

Ursula crossed her legs and stared off into the distance. She acted as if Jared weren’t there, and he wondered if she’d brought him along for any real reason, or if she just wanted to sit and intensely ignore him for a few minutes. He was on the brink of reaching for his history book when she said, “I hear you got invited to go on TV tomorrow night.”

“I did? What are you talking about?”

“No one told you?”

“No. How do you know anything about it?”

She still didn’t look at him. “That Reena Huffman bitch is coming to town to do interviews. She wants to talk to your mom. And you. She also wants to talk to my dad, but he won’t do it. She told him she invited you both on. I guess she thinks that will move him to reconsider, which it won’t.” She finally turned to face him. “He’s hopeless. Doesn’t he know how bad that makes him look?”

“You mean it makes him look guilty?” Jared asked.

Ursula studied him. In the dull winter sun, he saw the spray of freckles across her nose, fainter than when they were kids but still there. “Or unfeeling. Take your pick. Everybody already thinks of him as the ice man. He’s just feeding into it.”

“My mom didn’t mention it,” Jared said. But he had to admit she had seemed a little off her game as they got ready that morning. She didn’t talk as much, and she seemed to lack energy. He thought he’d heard the phone ring while he was still deep asleep. Had that been the cause of her mood? An invitation to Reena’s show? “She tries to shield me from the media and stuff.”

“I get it,” Ursula said, looking back off into the distance. “Here’s the thing, my dad thinks your mom said no. That’s the vibe he got from Reena’s people. They called him again and again, trying to get more out of him. The media, they’re vultures. Reena just comes around and tries to get ratings off our suffering. It’s all bullshit.” A light breeze picked up, making Jared shiver a little. The breeze also brought a sweet scent from Ursula, something that smelled like flowers, either her shampoo or her body spray. “People think I’m unfeeling too,” she said. “It’s my mom this happened to. I’m closer to this than anybody.”

Even in profile, Jared saw the emotion in Ursula’s eyes. He felt for her because she looked so lonely and small, no longer the invincible tough girl everybody imagined her to be.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“It’s fine. You know, whatever.”

“I really don’t want to go on TV,” Jared said. “You’re right, it’s kind of bullshit. I’m glad my mom took care of it.”

Ursula turned back to him quickly, her eyes boring in on his. She held his gaze for a long, uncomfortable amount of time, her gaze appearing to absorb information about him as if her brain were a supercomputer.

“What?” Jared asked.

“I think you should go on. With Reena. Your mom too.”

“Why? I thought it was bullshit.”

“It is. But we’re both in the same boat here. That guy, that William Rose or whoever he is, he took something important away from both of us. My mom and your girlfriend. And I’m thinking of Bobby too. You saw him the other night. He’s so torn up. His dad was murdered. Somebody has to tell the story for us, don’t you think?”

“You suddenly care about Natalie and me?” Jared asked.

Ursula shrugged. “Not exactly. I care about my mom. You care about Natalie.”

“Why don’t you go on, then?” Jared asked.

“My dad won’t let me. He hasn’t really let me near the media in a long time. It’s like your mom. He wants to protect me. He certainly won’t let me go on if he’s not willing to go on. How would that look? But your mom could go on. And so could you.”

“And how do you know all this?” Jared asked.

“My dad. He talked to Reena, and he told me. He’s been talking to me more than ever. You know, he’s trying to be both parents and all that. It’s kind of sweet in a way, how much he’s trying. He’s a little lost.” She looked sad but determined. “Anyway, if you just talk to your mom, explain to her how important it all is, she’ll probably go along.” She licked her lips. “Your mom hasn’t made the best impression on the media lately. So maybe you could both work on that.”