Since She Went Away(45)

“Don’t blame my mother,” he said. “She didn’t do anything.”

“She stood Mrs. Walters up,” the kid on the left said, the one who had already spoken. He wore a puffy ski vest over a button-down shirt. Not exactly brawling clothes, but Jared had seen rich kids fight and he knew some of them were as tough as the poorest and most desperate students in town. Being rich didn’t mean someone wasn’t deeply pissed at the core of his being. “Handed her over to some killer on a silver platter.”

The kid so casually threw the words “killed” and “killer” around. Everyone—the media, friends, family—took great pains to talk about Celia as though she were missing and might come back someday. Deep down, Jared suspected everyone knew the truth, but they never admitted it. This kid didn’t try to sugarcoat it, and he assumed Ursula felt the same way or else they wouldn’t be saying it around her.

“It wasn’t her,” Jared said. He needed to get to Tabitha, to check on her well-being, and then he needed to get home so his mom wouldn’t worry too much. But he couldn’t just walk away from the confrontation, letting these kids—and by extension everyone else in town—think that his mother was the one solely responsible for leaving Celia alone on the edge of Caldwell Park that night. “It was me,” he said. “I made her late that night. Shit, she found some alcohol in my room, and we had to f*cking talk about it. That’s why she was late.”

Ursula just stared at him in the dark, but one of the other guys spoke up.

“Oooo,” he said. “Rebel without a cause. Alcohol in the room, and Mom caught him. You’re lucky to be alive.”

Jared ignored him. “Of course, if it were me, I’d blame the person who actually kidnapped your mother. But what do I know?”

Ursula studied him. The lamps that lined the walkway caught her brown eyes, making them shimmer like small reflective pools. She was impossible to read, and he thought at any moment she might reach out and slap him.

Instead one corner of her mouth turned up, the beginning of a smirk. “Well, holy shit,” she said. “Everyone has a little secret, don’t they?”

“You can tell your dad or the police. I don’t care, okay? But I have to get going now. You can get back to whatever worthless bullshit you were talking about before I came by. Like how your cleaning lady doesn’t fold your underwear the right way, or which handicapped freshman you want to bully on the bus.”

The guy on the left’s hand shot out so fast Jared couldn’t have avoided it. He half punched, half shoved Jared in the chest, knocking him off balance. Jared caught himself and then moved forward, fists raised in a way he hoped didn’t look ridiculous. The guy scrambled toward him, but before they could come close to each other, Ursula was in between them, her arms raised like a boxing referee’s at the end of a round.

“Stop it,” she said. “Knock it off.”

They both stopped, Jared and the guy. Jared was thankful for the darkness. It covered up the shaking of his hands, the unsteady quaking of his legs. His opponent betrayed no nerves, no uncertainty. He stood glaring at Jared, his eyes cold. But he clearly did whatever Ursula wanted him to do. He took a step back.

“Just leave him alone,” she said, taking Jared in again. She seemed to be seeing something new, but he couldn’t be sure if it was the information about the night her mother disappeared or his willingness to mouth off and fight a bigger and older kid. Jared tried to remember what impression she might have of him from growing up. It wouldn’t be one that included toughness and grit. How could it when the lasting memory of their childhood was sitting in a bathtub together, splashing each other and playing with floating boats and animals? “Go on, get out of here, Jared. You’ve been very enlightening.”

Jared saw that the kid who had been lying back, the one with the cigarette, had moved toward the group. He stood behind them, his hands jammed into his pockets. He wore his hair long and his face was covered with a scraggly beard. Bobby Allen. He was a junior, and he and Jared had played on the same soccer team back in grade school. Neither one of them was very good, and Jared had barely spoken to him since then.

Jared started backing away, his heart still racing.

Ursula said, “Go on and see your freaky girlfriend.”

Again Jared stopped. “What do you know about her?”

“I know she’s a freak,” Ursula said. “And I know she’s been out of school for a few days. It’s kind of cute and sadly pathetic the way you two found each other. Is it time for your hookup? Is that why you’re rushing over there through the park? So you can get your evening jollies?”

“He’s not doing that, I can guarantee you.”

It was Bobby Allen, and his voice didn’t sound as threatening as the ones used by the others. He sounded almost friendly.

“What do you mean?” Ursula asked, turning her head slightly.

“Her dad, man. He’s a f*cking lunatic. He works for my dad. Or with him or something. He’s not letting any boys near that house.”

“What do you know about him?” Jared asked.

“Just what I heard from my dad. Guy’s a weirdo. Listen, you’re probably better off just finding a new girl. Hell, the school’s full of them. Have you ever noticed, even some of the nerdiest guys are getting laid in our school? There’s somebody for everybody.”