Silver Stars (Front Lines #2)(70)

Cat trots after her. “Jesus, Richlin, since when can’t you take a joke?”

“You know what, everyone can drop dead!” Rio rages.

“Yeah, well fug you too, Richlin.”

Rio’s still furious when she rejoins the platoon, now coming down to the beach, and Jenou, seeing a white-faced fury she’s never seen before on her friend, pulls her aside. “Are you all right? How’s Strand?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rio hisses.

Jenou blinks. Looks at her like she’s seeing a stranger and says, “It’s supposed to mean, ‘How is Strand?’”

Rio is breathing fast, panting almost, wishing she could have some privacy, somewhere away, somewhere she can think without being judged. Anywhere. Literally anywhere so long as it’s not here.

“You’re upset,” Jenou says. She looks around, mirroring Rio’s desire for privacy, but there is none to be found on the crowded beach. She does the best she can, puts an arm around her friend and draws her closer to the path the tanks are following up from the LSTs (Landing Ship Tank). The noise of engines and the clanking of tracks will shield them from too much snooping.

“Something’s bothering you,” Jenou says.

“Yes, you. You’re bothering me. And Cat. And everyone.”

A tanker riding atop his vehicle winks at them and says, “Hey, honey, want to see what I’ve got for you?” and grabs his crotch.

In a flash Rio draws her koummya and with amazing ferocity says, “How about I cut it off and look at it later?”

The shocked tanker just gapes at her, twisting to continue gaping as his tank rattles away.

“I’m sick of people looking at me,” Rio says angrily, as if picking up an ongoing conversation. “I see how you look at me, Jen. I know what you think. You think I’m not acting like me, but I’m still me!” She almost impales herself jabbing with the koummya for emphasis.

Tears fill her eyes and make her even more angry. But tears have a power of their own to subvert rage and leave only sadness and hurt to rise to the surface.

“Come here, honey,” Jenou says, and holds her arms open.

Rio shakes her head almost violently, spilling the tears down her cheeks and sending one to land on Jenou’s chin. “I’m not crying.”

Jenou accepts that gravely and lowers her arms. “I understand. You don’t want to act like a girl. You have to be big, tough Rio Richlin.”

“I did it with Strand.”

“You were tough with . . .” The silence stretches and stretches as slowly Jenou realizes what she means.

The confession seems to hang in the air between them. It takes Jenou a solid minute before she can ask, “You mean, just now, after he crashed?” When Rio doesn’t answer she says, “Tunis? Tunis? And you didn’t tell me?”

“I knew how you’d react. Like it was this terribly important thing.”

“It’s not?” Jenou is flabbergasted.

Rio shakes her head and wipes furtively at a tear. “Look around us here, Jen.” Rio waves a hand to encompass the beach and the whole island and indeed the whole war. “Look at all of this. What’s important compared to this? What does anything matter when we’re doing this?” Each “this” sounds like a curse word.

“But, honey, Rio, we’re going home someday. We’re going home to Gedwell Falls, and so is Strand, and it’s not like either of you can just forget what happened. My God, this means you have to get married.”

“Really?” Rio’s laugh is a sneer. “Suddenly you, Jenou Castain, are the voice of morality?”

“Well, no, but I’ve never—”

“You lie!”

“Don’t you call me a liar!”

“You’ve told me you . . . you . . .” But Rio’s memory is not giving her what she wants. She’s searching and not finding any moment when Jenou ever actually said she’d lost her virginity.

Jenou shakes her head and looks at Rio sideways, as if tilting her head will show her a new picture of her friend. “Everything but that,” Jenou says. She makes a cross over her heart. “Hope to die.”

Rio closes her eyes and stands swaying, tired, so tired. And more than tired, disturbed, twisted around inside. There’s a rage boiling inside her again, a rage with no target, a rage she can’t put into words.

Do not start crying again!

“Well, it happened,” Rio says at last. “And I killed more Krauts. A lot more Krauts.” Suddenly Rio drops to her knees. “I’m tired. I’m really tired, Jen.”

She slumps sideways and falls instantly asleep, curled up in the sand twenty feet from passing tanks.

Jenou summons Cat and together they carry a completely unconscious Rio out of the line of traffic. They erect a shelter over her and Cat finds Jillion to borrow a piece of paper.

Rio sleeps for fourteen hours and wakes to find herself sore, stiff, and in desperate need of a latrine. And she finds Geer’s Miss Lion curled up beside her.

She crawls out of the shelter and sees the note Cat has pinned to it.

Danger: Explosives! Disturb at Your Own Peril!!!

Rio tears the sign down and goes in search of chow, which is, once again, SOS.