Silence (Silence #1)(51)

I sat down next to Cole on the sofa and pressed against his side.

“Calm down and breathe,” Cole whispered as Mum put down a tray of tea, coffee, hot chocolate and biscuits. I took a deep breath. My lungs burned from holding my breath.

Dad cleared his throat and sat forward in the chair.

“Yesterday, everything got out of hand, and we all said some things that we didn’t mean. I didn’t think this would happen yet. Not until you were older, Oakley.” I almost choked in disbelief. How could he even sit there and pretend my age mattered? I felt sick to my stomach.

Mum reached across from the sofa beside ours and grabbed my hand. “I need you to understand that as your mother, of course I want you to talk again, but it isn’t everything. I don’t love you any less. Nothing could make me love you any less.”

I can think of one thing, I thought bitterly, holding in the tears that threatened to burst out.

“I’m sorry for what I said, but you have to understand that you will always be my little girl, no matter what. However, I really am happy for you both. Just make sure you look after her,” Mum added.

He smiled and threw his arm over the back of the sofa.

“Always.”

We all sat around talking for a while, and drinking our hot drinks. I didn’t dare look at Dad again. I hated him so much, but I still loved him. I wanted to him to go to prison, but I wanted him to stay and change back to how he was. I wanted him to be my dad again. I hadn’t seen Frank in almost three years so I knew it was over but I didn’t understand why things couldn’t be the way they were when I was a child. Well I did know why but I desperately wanted to be carefree and have a happy family again. God I was so messed up.

After Cole left, and had arranged to come back for dinner, I sat in my room with Mum. She had apologised a million times for what happened and was trying to think of ways she could make it up to me.

“Oh, what about a spa day? That would be lovely,” she suggested.

I did like the spa in Italy. I nodded. She was making an effort. I could do the same.

She lay back against my hard wooden headboard and smiled like a teenage girl.

“So, how are things going with Cole? You two do make a lovely couple, I’ve always thought that.” I know you have, so why the freak out? Because knowing we were together forced her to realise she still saw me as a child?

I bit my lip, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks.

“It’s so good to see you happy, love.”

It was good to feel happy.





Chapter Sixteen


Cole




The summer had passed so bloody quickly, and school started again on Monday. I had just two more days off. At least this was my last year at sixth form and then I could concentrate on university. Now uni was something I couldn’t wait for. Studying something that interested me – structural engineering. I wanted to be the one figuring out how a big fuck-off building wouldn’t fall on top of people.

“Cole, will you hurry up! You take longer to get ready than my sister,” Jasper screamed. I winced as his high-pitched, pretending-to-be-a-girl voice cut right through me.

“Jesus, Jasper! I’m standing right next to you! I’m ready.”

I grabbed my wallet, slipping it into my pocket, and sprayed some aftershave on my neck. It was Oakley’s favourite, and the one she bought for Christmas for the last few years. I loved it.

Tonight, I was going out with Jasper and Ben. Oakley was having a girl’s night in with Sarah, Mia, my mum and Kerry. She seemed pretty excited to spend the evening pampering herself with that muddy-looking crap you put on your face. That I had once put on my face. Never again!

“Cole,” Jasper whined. “You’re wasting valuable drinking time.”

“I’m coming!”

Jasper chuckled. “I thought you looked a bit funny.” I pushed past him. What a loser. Mum and Mia had already gone over to Oakley’s with a bottle of wine, chocolates and neon nail polish.

The past few weeks had been perfect. Oakley’s parents were doing their best to accept that we were together and to be happy for us. We weren’t allowed to sleep over each other’s any more, as we had anticipated, but that didn’t bother me. It didn’t help that Jasper always seemed to have a stupid teen pregnancy joke ready.

“Alright man, I’m gonna bet you right now that I get more phone numbers tonight,” he said, slapping me on the back as we walked out to wait for the taxi.

Are we really doing this?

“I’m not getting any phone numbers tonight. I’m with your sister, remember?”

“So you fold? I win?”

I sighed in defeat. “Yes, Jasper, you win.”

The black taxi pulled up outside my house. Jasper stopped and looked at his reflection in the window, messing his hair up.

“Do I look okay?”

“What are you, a woman?”

“Hey, I have insecurities the same as everyone else. I may be so close to perfect it’s scary but–”

“You look fine, Jasper!” I said, cutting him off. It was generally much easier to agree with him and just go along with it.

“Yeah? You don’t think I should have gone with the blue shirt?”

I shook my head, taking a deep breath. “Are we really doing this?” He nodded, looking deadly serious. This is going to be a very long night.