She, the Kingdom (She #1)(69)

He arched a brow. “And?”

“I told them the truth. I told them yes. They were worried what would happen to me. I told them I was still working for you. I told them I was your assistant until I found another job. It might be the first time I’ve lied to them since I was a little girl.”

“I’m sorry. We’ll make it right. I promise,” he said. I nodded. “And then what?”

“We came back to play in your castle for two hours, we came in to shower, and then had dinner and a movie. The castle was down and taken away by the time Josh and Hannah were in their pajamas. The whole day was amazing. Sort of heartbreaking. Josh is worried I was spending too much money because he hasn’t been to real stores with me before.”

“He’ll get used to it. You’ll be paid very well as my assistant.”

“If I still worked at the hospital, I would have had to take the day off. I would’ve missed this. So… thank you for firing me. It turns out to be the best thing to have happened to me.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll save the I told you so for another time.”

I breathed out a laugh. “We should probably talk about what’s next, though. For me. Job-wise.”

“Like you said. You’re my assistant.” He grinned. “Thank you. I couldn’t be more thrilled.”

“No, Max. I can’t do that.”

He frowned. “What’s changed?”

“Everything. We—”

He kissed me. “Later. Okay? Let’s not discuss business in bed, on this perfect day.”

We settled in next to one another, our heads sinking into the pillows. Just inches from his face, I breathed him in, committing to memory the smell of his body wash, his skin, his shampoo, his aftershave, even his deodorant. It was all too good to be true. I worried after sneaking around my children for so long the newness would wear off, and Max would remember he could have any woman he wanted. One who didn’t have to hide him in her bedroom, or was bound to a tiny Kansan town instead of traveling the world on a whim, or who could stand next to someone like Amelia and not feel excruciatingly inapt.

I cringed at the thought. Standing between my boyfriend and best friend, I would be an embarrassment sandwich.

“What is this look?” Max asked, tilting his head up. He seemed alarmed. “I’ve never seen it before.”

“Nothing,” I said, shaking my head as best I could against the pillow.

“Something,” he said.

“It’s ridiculous.” I’m ridiculous.

He frowned, tired and frustrated. “Morgan, enough already. I don’t like this.”

“I… think about Sophie, and then I think about John and Amelia.”

“Yes? What about them?”

“And you.”

“What about me?”

“You’re beautiful,” I said. “Sophie is beautiful. Amelia is…”

“Stop,” Max snapped. I was surprised to hear the anger in his tone. “This had better not be going where I think it’s going.”

“I don’t know. Where do you think it’s going?”

Max considered his next words carefully. “Morgan… I know the preliminary criteria for choosing you must be bothersome. But you must know I didn’t choose you because you aren’t attractive. I chose you because Sophie somehow didn’t believe she would feel threatened by a curvy, natural, woman who wasn’t overly done or fussy. I’ve never once said I wasn’t attracted to you. On the contrary, I admitted to Sophie very early on that I was. She ignored it.”

“I’m sure there was a reason,” I said. I tried to keep my voice low enough to mask the hurt. It was a vulnerable moment, and I hated nothing more than to slash my soul open for him to see. “I’ve been called chubby, chunky, round, athletically built my entire life, Max. If I’m standing with you, and John and Amelia, I’ll feel like one of those Which One Doesn’t Belong? puzzles.”

“Why are any of those adjectives derogatory? Because that’s how they meant them? That’s like saying you’re too kind, or too independent, or too loving. Where is the fault in that? Sophie is thin. You have breasts, and thighs, and hips, and there’s not one inch of you I don’t think is perfect.”

“The stretch marks?” I said, only half-teasing.

“Yes, and the tired, happy look in your eyes right now from spending all day with your children. It seems you’re the only person in the room who sees you as less than, and I can’t tell you how much it pains me that those thoughts cross your mind. If I could take you to the most public place in town and yell through a megaphone that I’m in love with you, I would. I’m proud to be in love with you, Morgan. I’m damn ecstatic that I’m lucky enough to be loved by you. You think I thought it was easy? You think I wasn’t sweating competing with a twenty-something for your heart? I was terrified. If anyone doesn’t deserve the other, Morgan, it’s me. I know I don’t deserve you, but I don’t care. I love you too much, and I’m just that selfish.”

“What if we’re at some uppity gala some day and a Kate Upton look-alike decides she’s in love with you?”

His eyebrows shot up, hovering half-way to his hairline. “Do you think my love is conditional? Or interchangeable? I realize I moved on quickly from Sophie to you, but you have to understand why.”