She, the Kingdom (She #1)(30)
Collin skipped out of the playroom, barely able to hang on to the handfuls of small Army men he’d brought to drive the large plastic trucks in his arms. Meredith trailed him, holding her own Army men and a scuffed My Little Pony.
“Aunt Morgan! You want to play with my toys?” Collin asked.
“Toys,” Meredith parroted.
“I do!” I said, kneeling to the floor in front of my seat. We organized the trucks, and I helped him position the men in the seats.
Collin wiped his nose with the back of his wrist. “Did you know I’m going to have a new brother or sister? We’re not supposed to tell you.”
I looked to Mom, my mouth open. “Sarah is pregnant again?” I asked.
“Looks that way,” she said, exasperated.
“Have you told them they need to ask you—the one apparently responsible for caring their children—if they’re going to have more?”
“Morgan,” Mom scolded.
I shook my head and continued playing with Collin. Meredith climbed in my lap, trying to untangle the purple hairs of her pony’s tail. “I’m sorry. I just want you to enjoy your retirement. If you charged them for daycare, they might be more careful.”
“It wasn’t planned,” Mom said, being purposely vague.
“You can’t tell me that as intelligent adults, in this day and age, any pregnancy is unplanned. Sarah is a nurse! She knows how it works.”
“Morgan, please. Not in front of the kids,” Mom said.
I nodded, and then kissed Collin’s head and Meredith’s sticky cheek. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to run off,” Dad said, watching me stand.
“I have errands to run. I love you,” I said, walking over to him to kiss his cheek. Mom stood and I hugged her. “I love you, too. We should take a weekend and go somewhere fun. My treat.”
“That sounds great. I’ll have to check with Jason to make sure that’s okay.”
I sighed. “Okay. I’ll call you later.”
Mom closed the door behind me, and I tried not to feel too angry at Jason for taking advantage of our parents. He had always needed to be the smartest person in the room, yet he couldn’t keep a job. He was a career college student, taking one class a semester, just enough to keep the government money coming in and to have an excuse for Mom to watch the kids. When he wasn’t in his ninety-minute class once a week, he had “homework.” He had more papers to write and worksheets for one class than I’d ever seen—every semester—and he always seemed to need his Xbox to do it. Sarah would rather work twelve-hour days than be home with her kids. Her contribution was supporting the family monetarily, but she never seemed to have enough to pay Mom for daycare.
I shook my head, trying to push the thoughts out of my head. It did me no good to stress over it. In the end, my parents were adults who made their own decisions, and if they chose to allow Jason to take advantage of the few years they had left, it wasn’t for me to argue.
I drove home and looked around my empty, sparkling clean house. Dawn had purchased place settings for the dining table and put brightly-colored fresh flowers in the center. I walked over to the kitchen to open my cabinets. New dishes. I wondered what Max expected me to spend my checks on if he continued to buy things for me. I wondered if Sophie knew he was taking care of things beyond the parameters of the agreement.
My cell buzzed, but I waited to pull into a parking spot at the grocery store before I answered. It was Amelia, asking for some girl time. I looked straight ahead at the tall, red box full of DVD rentals, and texted her back, proposing movie night. When she agreed, I stepped out, standing in front of the choices for the first time. I’d never had money for such a luxury before. I chose the scariest one I could find, and pressed the button, clapping like an idiot when the case hit the retrieval bin.
I bent over, remembering that Amelia had satellite television, and there were channels that offered newer movies, and sometimes even before the street-side rentals had them. I would have to look into that. I used to watch movies all the time, quoting them, buying the soundtracks. I wasn’t sure when that had stopped, or when doing things I’d loved had become a last priority. I snatched the DVD and headed into the store, buying ingredients, snacks, popcorn, and brand-name beer. It was both strange and exhilarating not having to add prices and cross-reference the sum to my checkbook balance, hoping I wasn’t too far off on the tax.
A woman began eyeing me in aisle two, and, before long, I noticed that almost everyone I passed was giving me one version of side-eye or another. There had been many women who had been the talk of the town, and now it appeared to be my turn. They were staring at me, wondering what it was about me that had caught the Kingstons’ eye, how I was so lucky or trying to find reasons why I shouldn’t have been. By aisle eight, I’d had enough. If they were going to stare, I was going to give them something to stare at.
I began grabbing things off the shelf and dropping them into my basket. Things I’d always wanted to try: candy, ridiculously expensive organic foods, and microwavable meals. One woman glared at me while I was in the pharmacy section, so I picked up a box of condoms and made a show of dropping it in with my frozen burritos and s’mores-flavored trail mix. She audibly gasped.
By the time I’d made it to the check out, buyer’s remorse had set in. Just because I had the money and motivation, didn’t mean I needed to spend it all. When the total didn’t make a dent in my bank balance, the guilt went away, but I decided it was fun to try only once. My job wasn’t exactly dependable, and I didn’t want to regret the time I’d spent four-hundred seven dollars and sixty-seven cents on processed foods to show a small percentage of Kills Cross that I was making the kind of money that was worth gossiping about.