Sharp Shootin' Cowboy (Hot Cowboy Nights, #3)(38)

“Again?” He heart dropped with disappointment. “Why?”

“Because we need all the money for our attorneys and the media campaign.”

“But we just raised half a mil,” she protested. “Can’t I at least have a small percentage of that to buy the collars?”

“Sorry.” He shook his head. “Half a mil might sound like a lot, but it’s only a drop in the bucket. We spent twice that in Idaho, Montana, Washington, Oregon, and Utah and still lost. We’ll need to tap into all of our resources if we’re going to prevent delisting in Wyoming.”

“I see. But it seems to me that our chances are slim no matter how much we spend. The wolf population has more than recovered. You know it’s only a matter of time before they allow hunting. Why not simply concentrate our efforts on protecting the packs in Yellowstone and Grand Teton? It’s where most of our study subjects are anyway.”

Jeffrey’s lipped thinned. “That would be to admit defeat.”

“But we’re swimming against a riptide here, Jeffrey.”

“The decisions can be reversed,” he insisted. “We can’t give up until we get new legislation passed.”

“I don’t agree, Jeffrey. I think we’re just wasting money that could be put to a much better purpose.” Although he’d been her mentor for the past six years, they didn’t always see eye to eye. He was far too involved in politics for her liking, using his research to support lobbies and lawsuits, while she cared more about the animals themselves. “And while we’re on the subject, I should tell you that I’m thinking very hard about accepting a job in Wyoming.”

“What?” His gaze narrowed. “This is the first you’ve said about it. Why haven’t you mentioned it before?”

“When have I had a chance? We’ve hardly seen each other in months.” She often wished they had more time together, but field research and various projects often kept them apart.

“I promise to make it up to you,” he said. “We’ll go away together once my current project is done.”

“You’ve said that before, but it never happens. Something always seems to come up.” She paused. “Jeffrey, what’s going on with us?”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“It just feels like we’re drifting apart.”

She’d told herself for years that romance held little importance in the great scheme of things. They had the kind of relationship she’d always thought she wanted, one founded on friendship, mutual respect, and common goals, but lately it seemed much more like a business partnership than a romantic relationship. She wondered about his recent lack of interest in sex. Was he involved with someone else? Was that why they’d spent so little time together lately?

He shrugged. “We’re both busy. Sometimes the greater good requires personal sacrifices, but I promise to take some time off once I’m finished with the Denali project.”

“How is it coming?” she asked.

“Better now that I have a new assistant.”

“You hired someone?” She struggled to digest that news. “You didn’t even tell me you were considering a new assistant.” She wondered who it was. It was strange he hadn’t mentioned it before.

“It’s no biggie, Haley.” Jeffrey shrugged it off without elaboration.

“Are you coming over tonight?” she asked.

“I figured you’d be too tired,” he answered. “I know I am. This kind of schmoozy thing always wipes me out.” Odd. That wasn’t like Jeffrey at all. He loved attention in any form.

“Oh. Okay. I understand.” She struggled to mask her disappointment. She’d hoped to celebrate their success together. After nearly three months of celibacy, she was wound tight with sexual tension.

“So, what’s this job you’re considering?” he asked, oblivious to her thoughts.

“U.S. Fish and Wildlife is forming a task force to review and monitor wolf management in the northern Rockies. I got a call from a recruiter about it a few weeks ago.”

“And you’re actually considering it?” Jeffrey regarded her with incredulity. “Let me get this straight. You’re going to leave your position with this organization and abandon a possible tenure track at the university?”

“Is there a reason I shouldn’t?”

She held her breath, waiting but knowing he’d never express the words she needed to hear. Jeffrey supported and encouraged her work and appreciated her intellect and dedication, but it wasn’t enough anymore.

“What about us?” he finally asked.

Her gaze sought his. “Is there really any us?” Although they had a tacit understanding about exclusivity, he’d made no move toward any kind of permanent commitment. And though she’d hinted several times about moving in together, he’d always hedged about that too.

His brows met in a scowl. “You know how I feel about marriage.”

“But I want a family, Jeffrey.”

“The world is already overpopulated,” he argued.

“And many countries have taken measures to control it. One child, Jeffrey. That’s all I want.” In almost five years together she and Jeffrey had never had unprotected sex. Not once. He was obsessive about it. For the longest time she’d secretly hoped he’d come around about the idea of kids, but he still hadn’t. She, on the other hand, had begun thinking about it. A lot.