Shadowland (The Immortals #3)(92)

I close my eyes. Unable to act—unable to move—I can’t do this—I can’t make this choice—he can’t make me do this—

Roman’s voice hovering over me when he says, “So I guess that’s it then.” He sighs and moves away. “Good for you, Ever, you proved your point. You’re nothing like me. Nothing at all. You’re a true elitist, a person of lofty ideals, higher mind, and now you get to sleep with your boyfriend too! Well done! And to think all it cost is the life of your friend. Your poor, sad, lost friend, who only wanted what everyone else wants—what you already have and are in the perfect position to share. Congratulations—should I say?”

He heads for the hall as I kneel before Haven, face streaming with tears as I gaze at my friend. My sad, lost, confused friend who didn’t deserve any of this, who’s always paying the price for befriending me. Damen’s and Ava’s murmuring voices beside me, a lullaby of promises, promising me I’ll get through it, that I did the right thing, that it’ll all be okay.

And then I see it, the silver cord that attaches the body to the soul. Having heard about it but never actually seeing it until now. Watching as it stretches so thin it’s ready to snap—send my friend far from here and straight into Summerland—

I spring to my feet, ripping the bottle from Roman’s grasp, and forcing Haven to drink.

Immune to the cries all around me, Ava’s piercing gasp, Damen begging me to stop, and Roman’s one-man applause accompanied by his loud vulgar laugh.

But I don’t care about that.

I only care about her.

Haven.

I can’t let her go.

Can’t let her die.

Can’t say good-bye.

Cradling her head in my arms and making her drink—the color instantly returning to her cheeks as she opens her eyes and gazes at me.

“What the—?” She struggles to sit, and looks all around. Squinting when she glances between me, Ava, Damen, and Roman, and says, “Where am I?”

I stare at her, mouth open, but with no idea what to say. Knowing that this is how Damen must’ve felt with me, only this is much worse.

He didn’t know about the death of the soul.

I did.

“Damen and Ever decided to join us, luv, and guess what? The future’s looking brighter than ever!” Roman swoops in beside me and helps her to her feet, winking at me when he adds, “You weren’t feeling so well, so Ever gave you some juice, thinking a little sugar might perk you right up—and damn if it didn’t work. And now, Ava, be a luv, and go fetch us some tea, would ya? There’s a new pot on the stove.”

Ava gets to her feet, willing me to meet her gaze as she heads for the hall. But I won’t. Can’t. Can’t look at anyone. Not after what I’ve just done.

“Glad to know you’re on board, Ever.” Roman pauses just shy of the door. “It’s like I said—you and I—we’re the same. Bound to each other for all of eternity. And not because of the spell, darlin’—but because it’s our fate—our destiny. Think of me as yet another soul mate.” He laughs, voice a whisper when he adds, “There, there, luv, don’t look so shocked. I, for one, am not the least bit surprised. You’ve never once strayed from the script. At least not so far.”





forty-nine


Damen leans toward me, his gaze like a hand on my arm, warm, inviting, luring me in. “Ever, please, look at me,” he says.

But I just continue to stare at the ocean, the water so black I can’t even see it.

Black ocean, dark moon, and a friend who’s headed for the Shadowland, thanks to me.

I climb out of his car and head for the edge, staring down the steep cliff at the darkness below. Drawn to the pull of his energy as he comes up behind me, hand on my shoulder, pulling me close to his chest as he says, “We’ll get through this—you’ll see.”

I turn, needing to see him, wondering how he can say such a thing. “How?” I start, voice so frail it’s as though it belongs to somebody else. “How will we do that? You gonna make her an amulet and insist she wear it every day?”

He shakes his head, eyes boring into mine when he says, “How can I make Haven wear hers when I can’t even convince you to wear yours?” His fingers drift to my neck, my chest, tracing the space where the crystals should be. “What happened?”

I turn, unwilling to look even worse in his eyes by explaining how I removed it, so overconfident in my misguided spell-casting attempt I set it aside.

“What am I supposed to tell her?” I whisper. “How can I possibly explain what I’ve done? How do you tell someone that you’ve given them eternal life, but if by chance they die, then their soul will be lost?”

Damen’s lips looming close, warming my ear when he says, “We’ll find a way—we’ll—”

I shake my head and move away, staring into the black, avoiding his gaze. “How can you say that? How can you—”

He comes up beside me, his mere presence heating my skin as he says, “How can I what?”

I swallow hard, unable to say it, to put into words all that I’ve done. Allowing myself to be pulled into his arms, held tightly to his chest, wishing I could crawl right inside him, curl up next to his heart and stay there forever—the safest shelter I could ever know.