Semper Mine (Sons of War #1)(64)

“I know, Kitty,” he says. “We’ve both had to change this year. I’m proud of you and how well you’ve dealt with everything. It’s because of this that I thought now was a good time to talk to you.”

“I don’t know how to be different,” I say with some difficulty. “I don’t want to let you go.”

“I’m not asking you to. Just asking you to be my friend and my sister. Not worrying every second of the day about me. Not assuming that I can’t take care of myself. Maybe trusting that I know what I’m doing with my life and my health and respecting my choices,” he says softly. “Waiting until I f*ck up to yell at me. Talking to me instead of lecturing me.”

We’ve never really spoken to each other this way. Well, maybe he’s tried. I don’t really know. Tired and stressed from watching him beat up Harris, I’m about to cry again, and my throat is tight. “Can I be your best friend?”

He laughs. “Yes. I have a lot to work on, too, when it comes to talking to you and others. Not being afraid of opening up or taking a chance on people.”

“Like we need anyone else,” I joke.

“We’ve got to date someday. Well, you’ve got your puppy.”

“You really don’t like him?” I venture to look up and see my brother gazing at me warmly. I wipe my eyes.

“He’s so … boring.”

I stifle a laugh.

“He does everything you say and never stops smiling. Doesn’t that drive you nuts?” Petr asks.

“A little. I figured I’d break it off after the holidays.”

“Yeah, you can’t kick a puppy at Christmas. Pretty sure you go to hell for that one,” he agrees.

I giggle, even knowing how awful it is to talk about Oliver and sweet little puppies like this.

“I always thought Captain Mathis would be good for you,” he adds too casually.

I grimace. Even hearing his name out loud causes me pain. “Definitely not.”

“Because …”

“Because … he deserves better,” I whisper.

“Katya!”

“He does.” I can’t say more without opening the dam I’ve carefully emplaced. “So no. Maybe I need a break from men for a while.”

“I’ll support that,” Petr says. “Will save me from having to beat up anyone else.”

“So barbaric.”

“He won’t be back, and he knows what’ll happen if he talks to you again. That’s what matters.”

I suppress a smile. I kind of like the idea of us being friends. I didn’t realize how one-way our relationship was before this. I’ve always chased my brothers and father around, cleaning up after them, yelling at them for cursing or whatever the minor infraction, taking care of them.

My brothers were never really interested in me, let alone willing to consider me as a friend. If anything, they found me either a nuisance or amusing, depending on the issue. The fact Petr wants to be a friend is … amazing.

Wiping my cheeks, I nod. “I like the idea of us being friends,” I decide.

“Good.”

“I’m still going to beat up any woman who hurts your feelings and yell at you sometimes.”

“I’ll beat up any more Harrises you bring home. Don’t be surprised if I start pushing back when you yell. I’ve learned a few tips from Captain Mathis on handling challenging people.”

I roll my eyes. The last thing I need is my brother turning into Sawyer.

“Deal? Friends?” he asks, extending his hand.

I sigh and nod. Instead of taking his hand, I hug him.

“You look beat. Go to bed,” he says quietly. “Big day tomorrow.”

“Don’t kill anyone before I get up.”

“I won’t, Kitty-Khav.”

I release him and start away.

“Thanks for listening.” He stands and takes the bowls. “Sleep well, sis.”

I feel like crying. Without another word, I go to my room. The house is insulated well enough that I don’t hear the party below. I peek out the windows at everyone, though, recalling a time when I’d be the first person drinking and the last on my feet.

Blinking, I stare and then rub my eyes. My heart takes off, and I find myself leaning against the cold glass to see better.

For a split second, I thought I saw Sawyer Mathis.

“I’m more tired than I thought.”

Not that it matters if I did. But I stand for a full five minutes, scouring the faces of everyone, just in case.

He’s not there. I’m not sure whom I saw, but there’s no way it’s him.

Isn’t that a good thing? Do I want it to be him?

I’m too tired to know for sure.





Chapter Twenty One: Sawyer


I’m still kicking myself over missing the scene with Petr and Harris. I’m not used to people disobeying me, and I’m definitely not happy about not getting to kick Harris’ ass. What kind of Marine isn’t there to defend his buddy in a brawl? Not that Petr needed the help, according to what Riley told me.

I could’ve used the outlet, though. It’s probably the twenty hours of good sleep I got, but I’m wired today.

Petr disappeared this morning to Katya’s event. The house is quiet, with people occupied in the media rooms, gym, bowling alley, stables, and wherever else the Khavalovs have set up to amuse people over the three day party. I’ve never seen anything like this place or imagined that a house would have a full-sized movie theatre, among other luxuries far beyond the normal reach of the average person.