Seeing Danger (Sinclair and Raven #2)(36)

Dev knew she wasn't focused on her words or she would not be revealing so much about herself. He wondered if Lilly had a secret that even she did not understand.

Trapping her hand as it moved down his neck toward his necktie, he said, “Why were you dancing with Lord Danderfield when I could tell you did not want to?”

Her hands immediately stilled and her eyes cleared, losing the look of dazed wonder they had previously held.

“I must return, my lord. Please excuse me, I-I don't know what I was doing—”

“You were touching me, Lilly, and I loved every second your fingers were on me. Yet had you continued I would have been forced to lay you on the bench and ravish you, and when I do that it will not be on a cold slab of stone.”

“Y-you cannot speak to me in such a manner!”

He watched as she slipped her gloves back on. He then grabbed her hand back and held her in place as she attempted to rise. There was a flicker of something in her eyes, however he knew it wasn't fear.

“I will make you mine, Lilliana Braithwaite.”

“Not if I don't want it!” she snapped, and he smiled at her temper. It was far better to see the fire in her eyes than the desperation they’d held before.

“But you do want it, my sweet.” Closing the distance, he placed a gentle coaxing kiss on her lips. “But for now we shall content ourselves with a dance,” Dev said, standing upright while he still could. Placing her hand on his arm, he led them back inside.

Dev swung Lilly into his arms and they waltzed slowly down the ballroom with the other couples.

“I would ask a favor of you, Lilly.”

He was subjected to a look, her feathered brows lowering as she studied him, and he could see the wariness return as she wondered what he would ask of her.

“I don't want to promise you anything. This, what happens between us, is not right. I don't want or need it, or the complications it brings to my life.”

“Yet it is inevitable,” Dev said.

“No, we can go back to what we were—”

“No,”—he gave her hand a squeeze—”we can't. But we will leave that for now, and I would simply ask that if you feel the need to tumble headlong into danger, you come to me, and if not me, James, so one of us can escort you to wherever it is you need to go.”

“He has already asked that of me.”

“Excellent, so you will have no trouble giving me the same assurance you no doubt gave him?”

She huffed out a breath. “Don't you have enough people to care for, my lord?”

“Plenty, Miss Braithwaite.”

“Yet you feel it necessary to watch over me also?”

Dev merely smiled.

“You have been successful in caring for and keeping your family safe, my lord, and I commend you upon it, however—”

“Not always,” Dev muttered as visions of Eden at the mercy of their father, Essie with her broken heart, and Cam drinking himself close to death filled his head. He hadn't been able to save them until the damage had been done.

“Whatever trials you and your family have endured, Lord Sinclair, it is undoubtedly a testament to you that you are still together, both healthy and whole. However, you cannot save everyone and I will point out to you again, my welfare is not your concern.”

No, he couldn't save everyone, Dev thought remembering campaigns and men he had lost who would never return home to their loved ones.

“Why do you look sad?”

The words weren't offered in a sympathetic tone; she demanded an answer.

“I could not save everyone who fought with me.”

“Was it your job to do so then, my lord? Are you such a man that everyone under your command should have returned alive and uninjured? Surely even the great Lord Sinclair cannot work such miracles?”

He couldn't believe she was mocking him.

“I led them.”

“Then of course you failed in your duty.”

“I did not fail!” Dev felt his anger rise. “I was a very good leader.”

“Then why do you blame yourself for losing the men you did?”

He could find no response, and battled the urge to place his hand over her mouth before she said anything else that would increase his discomfort.

“Have you always had this ridiculous need to protect people? This controlling nature that suggests no one can expire or become injured if you are in their lives?”

“Be quiet.”

“Oh dear, do you not like feeling vulnerable, Lord Sinclair? Is it not easy to have your innermost secrets and fears exposed, then chewed over like a dog with a tasty bone?”

Her face was serious, the high cheekbones flushed. Her eyes were open and honest behind the glass of her round lenses, and the ache inside his chest that he felt continually when she was close intensified.

“I take your point, so there is no need to discuss the matter further.” Of course he’d known she would ignore him.

“Being the eldest of six siblings, my lord, I'm sure you have been called far worse than bossy and controlling. However, I wonder if the description, godlike, would also fit?”

“Yes, thank you, Lilly. I believe I said I understood the point you were trying to make…repeatedly.”

“Excellent, then we shall both stop annoying each other, and revert to the way things once were between us, as it seems when we are near, we pull emotions from each other that neither of us are comfortable with.”