Secret Obsession (Carder Texas Connections #6)(28)

“I wasn’t sleeping,” he said softly. “I was tinkering a bit.” He forced himself not to follow his instincts, not to cuddle her close and use his lips and body to make her forget.

He shouldn’t be feeling this way. She was too vulnerable; she’d wrapped her arms around herself, that protective posture one huge defense. But he couldn’t stop the need or the flames that had kindled with every moment near her. He’d dreamed about her for the past few years; he’d compared every woman he’d dated to the woman sitting just a few feet from him. And now they were alone in a bedroom in the dark.

She clutched the sheet into her fists. “I dream of him. Every night. Of changing the past. Of killing him and stopping all of this.” She met his gaze. “What kind of person does that make me, to want another person dead? To want to kill him so badly that I can see it, feel it, do it in my dreams?”

He pried her fingers open, her palms speckled with red nail marks. He stroked the damaged flesh. “Archimedes hurt you. Your mind wants to fix it.”

She didn’t scoot away, just gazed up at Noah. “Two years ago, I didn’t even own a gun. Now I can shoot and not flinch. Two years ago, my biggest problem was choosing a wedding dress and hoping that when the Russian president made a statement, that my translation wouldn’t cause an international incident. Now I look over my shoulder everywhere I go. I can’t trust anyone. I can’t tell anyone the truth about my life or my past.

“I can’t live this way anymore.”

Noah slid to her side and pulled her head to his shoulder, stroking her back. “It will be over soon.”

“Even when it’s finally over, I’ll never be the same. Have I lost my soul?” she whispered. “Am I just an empty shell?”

How many times had Noah asked himself that question? While Lyssa dreamed of taking the law into her own hands, he’d done it. He’d been judge, jury and executioner. Sometimes there was no choice.

He tilted her chin up and sank into the distraught green sea of her eyes. “You know what I see? A woman who wants to survive, who cares about the people around her. Who wants to stop a man who cares nothing about anyone else.” His hand drifted under her jawline to toy with a curl of her hair. “I see a woman who cares more for others than herself.”

A reminiscent smile tugged at her lips. “That’s something Jack would have said.”

The words shredded Noah’s heart. Jack. It was Jack she cared about. She still loved Noah’s best friend.

And that fact hurt like hell. God, what he wouldn’t give for someone to love him this much.

What he wouldn’t give for Lyssa to... He cleared his throat. “I’d better let you get some sleep.”

“Don’t leave. I can’t take any more nightmares.” She burrowed closer into him. “So tired.”

Inside he groaned, but he settled on top of the covers, dragging his finger down her arm. “I’m not letting you out of my sight, Lyssa. I promise you that.”

He pulled her covers over her and her tired eyes blinked up at him.

“Sleep,” he said, stroking the soft strands of her hair. “We have some planning to do tomorrow.”

Her eyelids lifted. “As much as part of me thinks you should leave, I’m glad you’re here, Noah.”

She closed her eyes.

Noah didn’t move. He didn’t dare. Carefully, he set his gun on the nightstand.

Lyssa, here in his arms. Not quite how he’d imagined it.

A small sigh escaped her and she shifted even closer, showing him a trust she guarded so carefully.

If only she would trust him so much during the light of day.

*

SUNLIGHT PIERCED THROUGH the shutters. Lyssa groaned against the bright assault and turned over.

A large body stopped her.

Noah.

Memories of last night roared back. She flushed and peeked over at him. He lay sprawled on top of the covers, the top of his jeans unbuttoned, exhaustion painting his features.

Carefully, she rolled to the other side of the bed and rose. She hadn’t taken two steps when a voice stopped her.

“Don’t bother sneaking out,” he muttered without opening his eyes. “You tiptoe with the subtlety of a herd of elephants.”

So much for saving face. “I need coffee.”

“Make mine black,” he said, burying his head in the pillow.

Lyssa slipped into the hallway. Zane sat at the computer, his hair sticking straight up. “You been up all night?”

He removed his earphones. “Mostly. Narrowed the search down to one thousand, three hundred twenty-three possible suspects on flights yesterday.”

Rafe sat on the sofa, his 1911 by his side. The twenty-four-hour news channel flickered in the early morning, its sound muted.

“Did that snowstorm hit last night?” Lyssa asked. She walked to the front door heading to the enclosed screen porch.

“Don’t!” Rafe shouted. “Let me go first.”

She’d already turned the knob.

The door eased toward her without the slightest tug, a heavy weight slowly coming at her.

She jumped back.

A body tumbled into the foyer, then rolled onto its back.

Noah leaped in front of Rafe tackling her to the ground. Lyssa looked from underneath Noah’s arm at the distorted face.